My Funny Picture - Jokes News

Jokes News

We’ll take on US on our own, jokes Darren Clarke Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 6:24AMDarren Clarke joked that the next Ryder Cup should feature America against Northern Ireland! Related Stories Portrush one big happy family for Darren Clarke Darren Clarke in big rush to bring home The Open
Jews in Brooklyn and Houston Struggle With Tragedies Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 6:21AMThe two tragedies occurred 1,500 miles apart and in much different circumstances, but both united a community in shock, horror and grief.
Local woman falls into the Niagara River Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 6:11AMNIAGARA FALLS -- A local woman went on vacation to Niagara Falls and ended up being rescued from the Niagara River Monday afternoon. She is recovering at the Erie County Medical Center.
Shuttle Workers Grapple With Reinventing Themselves Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 6:05AMWhen the commander of Atlantis calls, "Wheels stop," upon landing this week, Ray Zink and Billy McClure will be waiting.
'The Daily Show's' Rob Riggle reports for Punchline duty Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 5:39AMThe former Marine explains the difference between military and comedy tours by Curt Holman "When you think of Captain America, you think of Rob Riggle in a spandex suit," "The Daily Show's" John Oliver once said of his former office mate, a U.S. Marine reservist. Riggle, 41, began amusing America as the most beefy and swaggering of "The Daily Show's" fake news reporters from 2006-2008.… [ Read ...
Mariners' Seager receiving unexpected help settling in Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 5:30AMSEATTLE -- When Kyle Seager walked into the Seattle Mariners' clubhouse early this month to become their new third baseman, the man waiting to mentor him wasn't who you'd expect.
Kit Siang labels Najib, Hisham ‘instant jokes’ over Economist black-out Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 4:52AMKUALA LUMPUR, July 20 – Putrajaya’s decision to black-out portions of international magazine The Economist’s latest issue has backfired on the prime minister and home minister who both are now the target of jokes worldwide, DAP leader Lim Kit Siang said today. The veteran opposition lawmaker recommended that Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak ...
Marc Lamont Hill: Why we must stand in solidarity with the Pelican Bay prisoners Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 4:15AMFOR NEARLY three weeks, inmates at Pelican Bay State Prison, in California, have been on a hunger strike. They plan to continue until officials agree to improve the conditions and prison policies.
Study: Kids safer riding with grandparents Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 8:16PMAre kids safer riding with grandma? Copyright 2011 Scripps Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Orchard Road getai: Cool or gaudy? Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 8:11PMTourists polled welcome show, but S'poreans feel it's too vulgar. -TNP
Do You Know Your Diet Quality Score? Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:50PMA recent study validates the diet quality concept for weight control. Written by: Matt Fitzgerald Some foods promote weight gain.
Victim's husband: 'I held her arm and felt her last heartbeat' Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:40PMOlujimi Blakeney is on trial, accused of shooting blindly at a crowd and fatally hitting Lisa Melancon, an innocent bystander. The bullet narrowly missed Melancon's husband, who took the witness stand on Monday.
Abbotsford driver in triple fatal crash involving pregnant victim gets lifetime ban Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:30PMKevin Wilson, husband of victim Laurel Wilson, hugs his mother, Sandi Preckel, following sentencing for the fatal crash at Abbotsford provincial court Monday.
Lisa Kudrow couches humor in 'Web Therapy' Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:30PMBy Rob Owen Pittsburgh Post-Gazette There's a good bit of humor to be found in "Web Therapy," which stars Lisa Kudrow ("Friends," "The Comeback") as Dr. Fiona Wallice, a brittle, impatient therapist who's found "a new modality" for therapy. Forget about 50-minute sessions with patients in person, she prefers three-minute online chats ("It's like you have a gun to your head; that's why it works ...
MLB Playoff Race: Why Brandon Inge Must Go to Keep Tigers' Hopes Alive Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:14PMBy this time, the struggles are of no surprise. However, for some reason, night in and night out the same monotonous tune continues to play from the same barren wasteland of a third base that has long housed one of baseball's greatest mysteries—Brandon Inge. Fans of metro-Detroit's recently successful Tigers lineup have long been exposed to the complexities that weave one of the most difficult ...
Firing on all cylinders Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:13PMOK, you are dealing with nature and nothing is guaranteed 100 per cent, but checking that a bull's sperm and penis are healthy is an important way of cutting the risk for the seller and the buyer.
Nigeria: I Left the Air Force With Only My Salary -Falope Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:49AMAs Air Commodore Kolawole Falope (rtd) walked into the venue of an interview with Saturday Independent, the shouts of Baba re o (this is father) rented the air at various angles. And to each beckoning, he stood and took out time to acknowledge cheers and greetings.
Bill Berry: State needs more leaders like Rod Nilsestuen Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:47AMOn July 21, we mark the passing of a true Wisconsin leader.
New German mosque a milestone in religious architecture Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:36AMCologne's central mosque suffered many critics before its construction began in 2009. It's now almost finished and is being hailed as a new artistic and social vision for the predominantly Christian city.
Ghana: Patrons Had More Than 1,012 Laughs And Music And Like Oliver Twist Asked for More Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:30AMEvent organisers, Charterhouse, succeeded in serving patrons at last weekend's Night of 1,012 laughs and music with more than they had bargained for.
Region's largest party rental company executes new strategies in more conservative era Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:24AMThis article has been read 53 times. EIGHTY FOUR - As the region's largest party rental company, All Occasions Party Rental finds itself at the center of many of the area's biggest events for UPMC, the Pittsburgh Symphony, Pittsburgh Grand Prix, the Arts Festival and Light-Up Night.
Ricky Gervais nominated for Emmy Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:19AMRicky Gervais has been left stunned after learning he has been nominated for an Emmy award for his slot hosting the Golden Globes.
Saints Row: The Third: The Basics Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 3:59AMSaints Row: The Third is the latest game in the GTA-inspired crime series from Volition. Whilst Rockstar took a sharp turn towards realism with GTA IV, the Saints Row series has maintained the over-the-top trajectory established with last generation's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and Saints Row: The Third pushes the exaggerated action to new heights - and the toilet humour to new lows...
Gervais wants Sheen to accept his Emmy Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 3:42AMRicky Gervais has been left stunned after learning he has personally been nominated for an Emmy award for his controversial slot hosting the Golden Globes - and he wants embattled actor Charlie Sheen to accept the prize if he wins.
Job stress takes toll on air-traffic controllers Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 3:10AMCHICAGO - Sitting in an airport tower peering into the darkness or working inside a quiet, dimly lit radar room can be disastrous for air-traffic controllers who work long, grueling hours and must stay awake all night.
DreamWorks does it again with 'Over the Hedge' Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:22PMMaybe the little creatures prowling our yards are not as bad as we think. At least that's the idea behind "Over The Hedge," a new animated film from DreamWorks that follows an array of animals taking over the suburbs.
Suit up for smart lawyer summer series Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:14PMNew summer series rarely result in any Emmy-caliber series, and this summer has been no exception. It’s a season for fun, entertaining new television that doesn’t require too much thought. Sometimes — perhaps even often — this leads to series that are just plain dumb. read more
Tyvek Building no more! Blighted Padanaram property makes a comeback Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:12PMDARTMOUTH — Long known as the "Tyvek Building" because it has sat idle for four years cloaked in the familiar white construction envelope, the Padanaram property is experiencing a rebirth.
Ron Paul: Prescient, but still an outsider Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:00PMEditor’s note: This is the second in a series of profiles of the 2012 presidential candidates, ...
What the Palestinians want, in practical terms Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:50PM“In a war of ideas, it is people who get killed”. (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec) History knows many proofs of the famous proverb: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. High-minded dreams of some result in sweat, tears and blood for others.
Theater review: 'The Expert at the Card Table' at the Broad Stage's Edye Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:49PMCharles McNulty reviews "The Expert at the Card Table" at the Broad Stage
MMA Knockout of the Day: Dan Henderson Sends Michael Bisping Back to 1776 Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:45PMAt UFC 100 Dan Henderson created a knockout that most casual fans know him by now. Personally this is one of my favorite knockouts of all-time, and surprisingly I haven't done this yet so let us get to the action. Henderson and Bisping were coaches on The Ultimate Fighter: United States vs. United Kingdom. So enter here the rivalry between the Colonies and the Crown where Bisping got under the ...
Peep World (Blu-ray) Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:41PMSkip It THE FILM A more accurate title for "Peep World" would be "Famous People Flailing." Here's a wholly unpleasant dramedy, generally uneven and reckless, from director Barry Blaustein, who was last seen helming 2005's "The Ringer." You remember, the Johnny Knoxville comedy about the Special Olympics? Well, the filmmaker's sense of humor hasn't improved much in the intervening years, with his ...
Chronic back pen Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:36PMFUNDRAISER shows off monster tattoo job - dozens of names and phrases from his pals
Freak tackle kills rugby player Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:21PMRUGBY player Halley Appleby has had his life support switched off two days after being injured in a freak on-field accident in Brisbane.
An alumnus' route from Greencastle to Washington Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:45PMDan Quayle '69 majored in political science at DePauw years before becoming vice president of the United States.
Rebekah Brooks Arrest: Former News of the World Editor's Scandal Sparks Debate Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:34PMTHR staff Some readers on Twitter call the arrest a “huge deal,” while others poke fun at her one phone call from jail. read more
Jeff Gordon headed to Congo refugee camp during off week Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:15PMWe've got an off week next week, and many drivers use the time to recharge around the house, bust down the honey-do list, or, in some cases, race in some lower-tier events. But Jeff Gordon 's doing something a wee bit different: he's headed to the Congo for a firsthand look at a refugee camp. Gordon will leave from Sunday's New Hampshire race, arriving in Africa on Tuesday. He'll spend two days ...
New UF coach's closest friends now roam opposite sideline on Saturdays Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:14PMGAINESVILLE — The jokes started right away when Will Muschamp was hired as the new head coach at Florida. One of his best friends is Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher and the two share ownership of a beach home in the Panhandle that they have taken turns enjoying for many years.
Will it be sixth time lucky for Steve Carell? Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:04PMHis Office character Michael Scott may be utterly clueless, but Steve Carell knows a thing or two. And when it comes to his sixth shot at the best actor Emmy, Carell jokes that he's got this one in the bag.
Three powerful Stratford Shakespeare Festival offerings highlight rebirth Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:46AMYes, they still produce Shakespeare at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival. This year's 12 offerings are almost half Shakespeare -- four by the Bard and one about him. But advance booking of hotels here and at the Shaw Festival meant that when the two festivals' schedules were announced last fall, last month's Post-Gazette Shaw/Stratford theater trip was bard-less.
Tampa's blind movie critic to appear on Kimmel show Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:46AMJay Forry, know for joking about his blindness, has been reviewing films for a decade by listening for certain scenes and dialogue.
Conan O’Brien: Detroit Among Worst Vacation Spots Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:30AMDetroit is listed as Number four on the 20 worst places to have a vacation, while Grandadland in Kissimmee, Florida tops the list .
Brock Lesnar's Beard and the Greatest Facial Hair in UFC History Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 11:14AMWhat is it about a beard that we all love so much? It's a tough thing to define, but I think we love beards because they remind us of a simpler time. You see a beard and what do you think of? A lumberjack, a farmer, Amish people... Zeus, Chuck Norris, how cool you, yourself, would look with a beard, or...I'm getting off track. There's a certain simplicity to a beard, just as there is a certain ...
Will sixth time be the charm for Steve Carell? Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 8:03PMHis "Office" character Michael Scott may be utterly clueless, but Steve Carell knows a thing or two. And when it comes to his sixth shot at the best actor Emmy, Carell jokes that he's got this one in the bag.
Hannibal Buress: Chillarity ensues Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:45PMIf you’re going to Skype with comedian Hannibal Buress, prepare for the following topics of conversation to come up: Buffalo fingers (they’re a Chicago chicken wing), farting (“I’ll fart around my momma”), whether it is classier to have sex with a doughnut or a bagel (the bagel wins but for the record he won’t eat them in Montreal).
Warped whips up crowd Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:44PMThe annual Vans Warped Tour rocked the GTA, with lesser-known bands stealing the spotlight
For a soldier in Iraq , it's the little things that matter Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:40PMFor a soldier in Iraq , it's the little things that matter
Ivanka Trump 'Seriously Terrified' About Delivery Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:35PM"I'm trying not to think about" going into labor, the Celebrity Apprentice judge tells PEOPLE
Campbell Shines in 1st Show Since Alzheimer's News Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:30PMBILOXI, Miss. (AP) - Glen Campbell's first performance since announcing he has Alzheimer's is being considered a triumph. His performance at a casino in Biloxi, Miss., on Friday night was classic Campbell.