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Short Jokes News

On The Road w Doc Dossman In Italy Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 3:42AMOur own Doc Dossman was in Lignano, Italy for the World Championships last week—here’s his thoughts on his experience.
Green Lantern almost made in Australia Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 3:26AMSkyrocketing Australian dollar forced Warner Bros to shelve plans to film in Melbourne and Sydney.
Salina Journal News: Headline Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 3:03AMAll across Salina on Tuesday, workers who don't get to spend their days in air-conditioned comfort were finding ways to get the job done anyway.
Benn: I used to spend my money on shoes Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 1:24AMI used to spend money on shoes. And now, as I look down at my dusty old Nikes, I can’t help but chuckle. They are FUBAR : effed up beyond any recognition.
Pond Scrum: Clarke's payday, absent Brits, passable Yanks Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 11:32PMDarren Clarke regained his game, working his magic over four days at Royal St. George's. Steve Elling and John Huggan recap the ride, including misery for the Brits and actual Americans in contention.
Rangers prospect Erlin ahead of the game Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:16PMRangers prospect Erlin ahead of the game
Ticats' Johnson no longer a CFL secret Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 9:10PMIn the black and gold world he calls home, Jamall Johnson is a player of substance.
20 July 2011 Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 8:29PMHe described it as the most humble day of his life - and this was before he was attacked with a pie - but it was really a triumphant afternoon for Rupert Murdoch.
First Night: Batman Live, Manchster Evening News Arena Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 7:06PMIt is big, brash, very, very loud and coming to an arena near you this summer. Unlike the ill-fated and roundly panned musical exploits of fellow super hero Spider-Man in the United States, the Crusader live in the UK has enjoyed a trouble-free gestation to date. But costing £12m, it is not lacking a similarly grandiose ambition.
FOOTBALL: Three of a kind Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 12:57PMCordero Gonzales, left, will suit up for the 37th annual Charlie Wedemeyer Silicon Valley Youth Classic on Wednesday. His father, Ray, center, and brother Raymond also played in the all-star game. Photo by: Aimee Santos, Special to the Dispatch It didn't take long for the three of them to start the football talk. They were together for no more than 10 minutes on the turf at Gilroy High School ...
Now and Then: Labyrinth Vs. Alice In Wonderland Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 12:31PMIn our week-long series, Now and Then , GOOD writers each choose a beloved piece of pop culture from back in the day and pit it against its modern-day equivalent, with a fresh pair of adult eyes. May the best zeitgeist win. As a kid, I was a sucker for anything with compelling visual effects. So it made sense that Labyrinth , the Jim Henson classic from 1986, was one of my favorite movies. Its ...
Texas notes: Erlin ahead of the game Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 11:07AMRoughRiders left-hander Robbie Erlin won his first five Double-A decisions. (James Garner)
Sliders: Fish feature flier fodder Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:51AMJack McKeon seems to have injected some life into the previously struggling Florida Marlins, all at the age of 80. Emilio Bonifacio specifically has reaped the rewards of playing in the manager's system. Scott White explains this and more in this week's Sliders.
Tuesday's Bullets Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:48AMAt a Bobcats fantasy camp, 48-year old Michael Jordan dunked a basketball . Let the comeback rumors begin. Noam Schiller of Hardwood Paroxysm has a brilliant breakdown of the 2005-06 breakout season of Boris Diaw and the eventual downfall from what could have been. "But Diaw was never the same. With Stoudemire back on board, he struggled in a dimished role as the 3 rd offensive option. His ...
Watch ‘I’m Comic Sans, Asshole:’ the Animated Short Film Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:33AMMike Lacher's McSweeney's masterpiece gets a stop-motion reenactment courtesy of Joe Hollier . Charm and font jokes abound. [ Have You Seen This ] Read more posts by Amanda Dobbins Filed Under: clickables , art , comic sans , font jokes , video
The Case for Parallel Universe Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 10:13AMEditor's note: In the August issue of Scientific American, cosmologist George Ellis describes why he's skeptical about the concept of parallel universes. Here, multiverse proponent multiverse proponents Alexander Vilenkin and Max Tegmark offer counterpoints, explaining why the multiverse would account for so many features of our universe--and how it might be tested. [More]
Edwin Edwards shows no sense of guilt: Stephanie Grace Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 7:38AMHis reemergence would go down a little more easily if it were accompanied by a spoonful of remorse
Wittgenstein: The fun philosopher Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 7:31AMJohn Maynard Keynes, the widely admired and widely cursed economist, wrote to his wife one day in 1929: “Well, God has arrived. I met him on the 5:15 train.” God in this case was Ludwig Wittgenstein
After the ash, Iceland volcano rakes in tourism cash Tuesday, July 19, 2011 @ 2:11AMEYJAFJALLAJOEKULL, Iceland (AFP) - Iceland's volcanoes gained notoriety last year for their ash-spewing ability to ground airlines and make a mess. But they also pay their dues, drawing tourists eager to see the source of the chaos.
Serving Niles since 1886 Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 10:04PMBUCHANAN — After a 40-year break, Sixth Generation reunited Saturday night at American Legion Post 51 for their induction into Rock and Roll Legends Online Hall of Fame with the highest vote total, thanks to its Facebook-fueled comeback.
TDF'11 Rest Day Chat: Saxo Bank's Brian Vandborg Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 6:19PMVandborg turned pro for CSC in 2004 and spent three seasons there, taking a stage in the Tour of Georgia and the Danish time trial championship along the way.
Michael Giltz: DVD: SciFi Silly, Serious and Everything In Between Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 5:13PMI've always loved science fiction, one of the most flexible of genres. It's a canvas for startling and surprising leaps of the imagination. It can...
I'm not cruel to dwarves - Ricky Gervais Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:36PMTV star denies suggestions he is cruel to dwarves after it was claimed he loved to watch them fight on the set of his new sitcom.
21 New Media Innovators Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 2:46PMWhile the dark days of journalism have receded a bit — it was only three years ago that layoffs were a weekly occurrence, and serious people discussed the closure of the New York Times — the business is still very much in a state of chaotic flux. The so-called war between new and old media rages on among the pundits, with Facebook supplanting Google News as the new bogeyman . But if you look ...
'Jungle Book' provides more than bare necessities Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 2:43PMA hint of Bollywood razzle-dazzle energizes Georgia Shakespeare's family series production of The Jungle Book . Audiences probably associate The Jungle Book with Disney's beloved 1967 cartoon feature, but the barbershop quartet and Louis Prima jazz numbers don't exactly keep faith with Rudyard Kipling's original short stories, inspired by the British author's residence in India ( although ...
John Shinal's Tech Investor: Groupon and Zynga differ in three key ways Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 1:12PMJudging by its income statement, balance sheet and the experience of its chief executive, the online-game firm looks better positioned to have a good stock run in its first few years as a public company, writes John Shinal.
The Lost Season: Boris Diaw, 05-06 Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:44PM(Please open the article to see the flash file or player.) With the threat of a shortened or even cancelled season upon us, there is very little we can do other than watch U19 tournaments or read books to restore a shred of basketball into our lives. What we can do, though, is reminisce over [...]
Hair there and everywhere Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 11:15AMThere's just something about hair. We write stories about it, sing songs about it, covet it or lament the lack of it. Hair has magical powers in Disney's cartoon film "Tangled." It signifies the ultimate sacrifice for love in "The Gift of the Magi" by O. Henry. We study it in English with F. Scott Fitzgerald's "Bernice Bobs Her Hair." We cut it for fundraisers and tie little bangles into it at ...
I'm not cruel to dwarves, says Gervais Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 7:41AMRICKY Gervais has denied suggestions he is cruel to dwarves after it was claimed he loved to watch them fight on the set of his new sitcom.
Philadelphia livestock shop a touch of home for immigrants Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 6:45AMAlong the shopping strip of Woodland Avenue, between the pizza shop and an abandoned building, a wind chime carved with the Chinese symbol for luck dangles in the doorway, next to a well-used fly strip. In walks a young woman chatting in Spanish on her cellphone. A regular, she passes through a second glass door to the middle of the store, stands in front of a wall of cages that house live ...
An agonizing fall and every single detail of it Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 12:12AMThe narrator of True Things About Me is on a downward spiral, and she's moving fast. Her harrowing story begins at her dreary job, where she sits at a window processing some kind of claims. She tells us each small thing she does with such hard-eyed accuracy that when she has sex with a man in the parking garage a few minutes after meeting him (and just a few pages into the book) it's shocking ...
Coast footballer dies after tackle Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 9:53PMA FORMER Sunshine Coast rugby player who was hurt during a match in Brisbane has had his life support turned off this morning.
22 Worst Feelings in the NFL Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 8:44PMMany professional football players aren't reduced to tears when something terrible happens during a game, but I'm sure they often feel like bawling after committing crucial mistakes or when they are subject to unfortunate situations. Like any sport, there are occurrences in the NFL that spark embarrassment and bring forth feelings of sadness or shame. These moments often cause fans to pull their ...
BATU PAHAT: Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 7:16PMIt is Bank Indonesia (BI), said Credit Suisse economist Robert Prior-Wandesforde in a report. And the least predictable central bank? Bank Negara Malaysia.
John Farr: Is Today's Film Comedy in the Toilet? Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 3:42PMI continue to be nostalgic for comedy that doesn't require constant profanity or a surfeit of fart gags to succeed, that relies instead on subtle, clever scripts and witty dialogue; movies that in the end give their audiences some credit for brains and taste.
Jim Grant still can't figure out why the dollar has held up so long Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 2:36PMThis weekend's Wall Street Journal publishes a lovely profile, written by Holman W. Jenkins Jr., of James Grant, publisher of Grant's Interest Rate Observer.
DPM's call to show 'true' Bersih footage: Another BN 'stunt' on the way? Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 8:42AMDeputy Prime Minister Muhyiddin Yassin called on the police to promptly show video footage from the July 9 Bersih rally so as refute the opposition's claims of police brutality. His comments immediately aroused suspicion that the Najib administration was about to "pull off another stunt", perhaps showing video footage intentionally made to cast the Bersih marchers in a bad and violent light ...
Chair Shots: WWE Smackdown sets strong stage for Money in the Bank Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 4:32AMPosted: Saturday, July 16, 2011 11:04 am | Updated: 11:08 am, Sat Jul 16, 2011.
Qatar- Book lovers bemoan lack of libraries Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 1:37AMQatar- Book lovers bemoan lack of libraries
you are here Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 12:02AMI was the only farmer in a room full of chartered surveyors last week. Don't worry, I hadn't been kidnapped. I wasn't lost, either. I was actually there voluntarily.
Stop ‘auto’ presenting Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 7:08PMA predictable presentation will immediately cause your audience to lose interest, so spruce it up with some personality.
A Skeptical Look at Aliens [Pharyngula] Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 4:03PMOK, I'm feeling guilty: I'm off at The Amaz!ng Meeting enjoying myself, and totally neglecting the blog readers who aren't lucky enough to be here too. And since I've been getting lots of requests to put the full content of my talk online, I figured…yeah, sure, I can do that. So here you go, all of the slides and what I said about them, mostly, below the fold. Criticize and argue and do your ...
Pitchfork Music Festival: Day 1 in review Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 8:42AMThe three-day festival launched Friday in Union Park, with a crowd approaching 18,000.
WWE Smackdown Results 7/15/11 Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 11:39PMJosh Mathews is in the ring and he welcomes everyone to Smackdown and then Josh welcomes Randy Orton to the ring. Josh asks Randy about the stipulation that if Orton is disqualified that Christian becomes the new World Champion.
Chris Weigant: Friday Talking Points -- Obama 2.0? Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 9:42PMIn the midst of the debt ceiling frenzy, nobody seems to have noticed that Obama is negotiating in a markedly different way than what we've seen from him in the past. He is at the absolute center of the showdown.
TaskRabbit Turns Grunt Work Into a Game Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 8:34PMGenius, as Thomas Edison famously declared, may owe far more to perspiration than to inspiration, but Leah Busque’s revolutionary startup was born in a moment of profound laziness.
Rock Hill all-star team looks to shine in state tournament Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 8:26PMEnthusiasm floats with the words John Hughes chooses when discussing the Rock Hill Nationals Dixie Minors AAA All-Star team.
Investment tips for the accident-prone Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 7:23PMAuthor LouAnn Lofton says investors need to do research, be realistic and think long term and learn from mistakes.
Theatre review: Casablanca - The Gin Joint Cut Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 6:12PMCasablanca - The Gin Joint Cut, Tron Theatre, Glasgow ****
Air-traffic controllers cope with wild swings Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 3:17PMSitting in an airport tower peering into the darkness or working inside a quiet, dimly lit radar room can be disastrous for air-traffic controllers who work long, gruelling hours and must stay awake all night.