My Funny Picture - Funny Jokes News

Funny Jokes News

Girls Basketball: Two Monarchs show there’s more than one way to rebound Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 11:02PMRebounding from the loss of its top rebounder, Amy Boden, one area that the Bishop McGann-Mercy Diocesan High School girls basketball team should not have to worry about, interestingly enough, is the rebounding department. Thank you, Mairead Glynn. Thank you, Elizabeth Hartmann. The Monarchs could count on nine rebounds per game last season from Boden, [...]
Last Night's TV - Show Me the Funny – Stand-up Showdown, ITV1; Antiques Master, BBC2 Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 6:10PMIn this game," came the tagline, "it's not enough to be funny – you've got to be fearless." Ah! No sooner had we begun to mourn the passing of The Apprentice, than Show Me the Funny – Stand-up Showdown comes along, promising equivalent levels of hubris and humiliation.
‘True Blood’ star Joe Manganiello describes being naked with wild animal for scene Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:22PMTheCelebrityCafe.com Staff Manganiello: “Basically it’s Alcide and Eric both naked, screaming at each other at the top of their lungs with Sookie in the middle” Joe Manganiello at the Season 4 premiere of HBO's "True Blood". (Hollywood, CA) ***U.S. Syndication Only!*** read more
Betty White can't attend Marine Corps ball Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 4:07PMSorry Sgt. Ray Lewis - Betty White can't accept your invitation to the Marine Corps ball! Although Lewis' fellow Marines had luck using YouTube to land Marine Corps ball dates with celebrities, it didn't work out this time. “I am deeply flattered and truly appreciate the invitation, as everyone knows I love a man in [...]
Stuck in a routine and a little bored? Try improv! Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 2:35AMThere's birthday party energy in Steve Fogel's San Carlos living room. Shouting! Squealing! Only the noisemakers aren't kids. They're grown-ups, 16 responsible adults pretending to toss an invisible ball of electricity around a circle.
Young clown has big (blue) shoes to fill Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 1:19AM When it comes to making her dreams come true, 11-year-old Hope Ogle isn't just clowning around. Hope, who lives with her grandparents Bill and Nancy Ogle in Clearmont, selected clowning as her 4-H project.
News of the World phone hacking scandal: as it happened July 17 Monday, July 18, 2011 @ 1:04AMThe phone-hacking scandal which has engulfed Rupert Murdoch's News International, as it happened.
Cabbie beaten up 'by other taxi drivers' Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 8:40PMA CABBIE injured outside a Sydney railway station may have been beaten up by other taxi drivers, police say.
Kardashian's husband 'shaken' after car crash Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 7:25PMLOS Angeles Lakers star Lamar Odom was "shaken up" after he was involved in a car accident in New York City, Us Weekly reported today.
Taronga Zoo eagle hits baby Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 6:32PMAN eagle has been banned from Taronga Zoo's bird show after it attacked a toddler.
Mark Zuckerberg - not as funny as Spock? Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 6:09PMTWITTER founder recalls awkward meeting with Mark Zuckerberg, who stared "like a Vulcan" when the jokes were rolled out.
DVD reviews: 'Shine a Light' a great movie for any fan of rock Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:58AMMick Jagger, left, performs with guitarist Keith Richards. “Shine a Light” is a Rolling Stones concert film shot by Martin Scorsese. / AP/Reno Gazette-Journal
Children find fun, friends at camp with a mission Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 10:04AMMILFORD — On a warm night last week, 31 elementary-age kids gathered around a flickering fire at Camp New Happenings. They sang, danced and just relaxed — typical summer camp fun.
Rage quit is funny Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 7:50AMEver get really mad at a game your playing(great examples: Call of Duty, Battlefield, Killzone, Mortal Kombat, Dragon Ball, Tekken, Marvel vs Capcom), and just throw a short tantrum, throwing your controller/keyboard/yourself(<-kinect) on the ground? Ever see someone else do it? It's the funniest thing when it's not you, and it's your friend just rage quitting. It's not as funny when your ...
This Week's Must-See TV: 5 Shows You Shouldn't Miss Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 5:16AMCheck out this week's television highlights with Tube Talk 's top five picks.
Our critics recommend... Sunday, July 17, 2011 @ 2:05AMMovies Opening This Week Captain America: The First Avenger See preview on this page. Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest See preview on this page.
Cynthia Ellis: Giancarlo Esposito in Breaking Bad's Fourth Season Premiere: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 6:12PMGiancarlo Esposito's performance in Breaking Bad's fourth season premiere was so electrifying that, as Woody Allen once said, "All the blood went out of my face and went to my brother."
End Zone: Wambach using her head to lead U.S. Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 3:05PMIt takes a certain amount of courage to stick your face into a crowd and use your head as a tool to drive into a soccer ball. Abby Wambach has that. Purists will tell you that the best at it, those players like Wambach who consistently win the ball in the.
When Sanma goes, so may the laughs Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 1:53PMThe tabloid Tokyo Sports has reported that one of the longest-running shows on Japanese TV, "Waratte Ii to mo" ("It's OK to Laugh"), may go off the air next spring due to sagging ratings. Hosted by the sunglass-sporting comedian Tamori since its inception in 1982, the noontime show's mix of celebrity interview and mild comedy became stylistically moribund years ago, and Tamori announced at least ...
West Volusia Beacon Movie Review — Horrible Bosses Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 11:05AMDirected by the relatively small-time Seth Gordon, whose most notorious previous work was the overly dramatic Donkey Kong high score documentary The King of Kong, Horrible Bosses is a great mindless comedy backed up by a full cast and crew of comedic veterans. The screenplay was crafted by Waiting ...
Brooklyn slay suspect was stranger to most at New Square wedding Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 5:23AMGuests at Monday's wedding of Yakov Morsel and Dina Munk in New Square already knew that an 8-year-old Hasidic boy had vanished earlier in the day in Brooklyn.
How this nose made an impact Saturday, July 16, 2011 @ 5:00AMSEX and booze have long been part of Judith Lucy's stand-up routines but as a student at Santa Maria College she had far different habits on her mind.
Smith remembered by community Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 10:39PMA family man, a friend, a fire department member, and also a fan - Michael S. Smith, 47, of Sayre was all these things and more.Sadly, Smith drowned last Saturday when his boat capsized on the Susquehanna River in Athens Township. He is not being forgot
Michael Caine shared jokes with Queen Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 9:27PMSir Michael Caine once shared a joke-telling session with Britain's Queen Elizabeth.
Send in the clown: Former Muscatine man returns to the area to rustle up some fun in the rodeo ring Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 9:19PMTIPTON, Iowa — Whoever said that clowns are the saddest of all never met Randy “Roscoe” Finley.
Wrong: Milk Ad Campaign Blames PMS, Insults Women Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 7:04PMI am post-menopausal, but I'm still pissed.
Artur Boruc’s Friday Rage List Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 4:40PMAAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK: 1. MY OLD CELTIC SHIRT -- MY WASHER AND DRYER ARE BROKEN SO THIS IS THE ONLY CLEAN SHIRT I HAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT TURNS OUT THAT THESE MACHINES ARE NOT BUILT TO WITHSTAND A GROWN MAN FIGHTING A RACCOON INSIDE THEM WHILE THEY WASH HIS CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MANUAL DID NOT WARN ME OF THIS ...
A List of 94 Twitter Things Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 3:55PMHere's a list of Twitter guidelines and 50 of my favorite Twitterers.
Masand: 'Zindagi Na...' is light-hearted Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 1:18PMWhat makes 'Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara' that much more enjoyable are the performances.
Michele Hewitson Interview: Helen Kelly Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 1:08PMHelen Kelly, the president of the Council of Trade Unions, said something funny at the end of our hour and a bit, after she'd spent some time telling me off for asking stupid, offensive things instead of questions about, say, the...
Why is Violence Against Another Person Funny? Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 1:03PMCOMMENTARY | In what society is this OK? A woman who is going through a divorce with her husband drugs him, ties him up then cuts off his penis. She doesn't pull a Lorena Bobbitt and throw the severed member along the road -- instead she throws it into the garbage disposal and turns it on.
Bound in a Gay Union by a State That Didn’t Recognize It Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 12:40PMFirst came a same-sex union in Vermont. Then came a split. But trying to dissolve the union took a tortuous path lasting six and a half years and led to State Supreme Court in Brooklyn.
A bona fide breakout role for 'Chinglish' star Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 12:18PMHong Kong-born, New York-based actress Jennifer Lim stands out David Henry Hwang's smart and enormously witty "Chinglish" is one of the first major U.S. plays to address the rising economic power of China, as well as America's attempts to benefit from that new money. Currently in a world premiere at the Goodman Theatre, it has been an unequivocal hit for the theater, which has extended the run ...
Michael Caine - Michael Caine Shared Jokes With Queen Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 10:22AMSir Michael Caine once shared a joke-telling session with Britain's Queen Elizabeth. The 78-year-old actor portrays a 1966 Aston Martin in forthcoming movie 'Cars 2', which also features a vehicle in the likeness of the queen, and he thinks the monar...
Brother's Justice (Blu-ray) Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 9:26AMSkip It Obviously already having mastered everything there is in the world of comedy, Dax Shepard set out to be an action hero. That's kind of the one and only joke in Brother's Justice , a mockumentary about Dax's stab at breaking out of the ninth-billed-guy-in-B-list-comedies bracket and making it big as a Chuck Norris/Steven Read the entire review
EXCLSUVIE: Chris Evans, called to play Captain America, reluctant to serve Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 8:49AMThey didn’t have to tell Chris Evans it was his “patriotic duty” to play Captain America in “Captain America: The First Avenger.” But it almost came to that. “I was saving that pitch for last,” jokes Joe Johnston, the popcorn-picture specialist (“Jumanji,” “Jurassic Park III”) hired to turn the comic book into a movie. “Fortunately, I [...]
Zonad Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 6:23AMRecommended THE MOVIE: The parody movie has become so corrupted by the evils of various Wayanses and their demon spawn, Friedberg and Seltzer, that I think most of us had basically given up on the form; we'd always have our fond memories of Mel Brooks, Monty Python, Carl Reiner, and Zucker-Abrams-Zucker, but Hollywood doesn't aim that high any more. Imagine my surprise to find that a couple of ...
Giant croc steals the show from actors in ‘Bangis’ Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 6:12AMCrocodiles are commonly portrayed in movies and TV as villains and that's understandable, They're considered the third most dangerous animal in the world (next to snakes and scorpions) killing a reported 50,000 humans a year worldwide. The word also has negative connotations.
WFAN’s Craig Carton Mocks Josh Hamilton Friday, July 15, 2011 @ 5:10AMCraig Carton has done many cruel things during his tenure on radio. Among his list of accomplishments are racial profiling, mocking postpartum depression, and animal abuse. Earlier this week he added insensitivity to drug and alcohol addiction when bringing up Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton. NYBD reader Corey informed me of a conversation that took place between [...]
MMA Knockout of the Day: Carlos Condit's Knee Leaves Dong Hyun Kim Seeing Stars Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 11:15PMOut of the UFC 132 Results came a big flying knee knockout victory for Carlos Condit over Dong Hyun Kim. Now I chose this specific video for a reason—the funny country music that seems to play a fitting role for this knockout. Condit and Kim came into this fight seemingly on the cusp of becoming one of the top contenders in the welterweight division. Kim actually thought that a win here would ...
Life in Canberra … mag circulation wars … Murdoch on Murdoch … Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 10:24PMIn today's Media Briefs: Melbourne property mag wars ... first post News of the World Murdoch interview ... Phone hacking prompts Australian debate over Murdoch's power ... and more ... Read more on the blog...
Bonding in a 'Car-ified' World Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 9:00PMRead how Cars 2 takes off with Formula 1 and spying.
Meet John Slattery, the Mad Men star who sleeps with Christina Hendricks for a living Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 7:48PMActor John Slattery has found fame as wisecracking ad man Roger Sterling in the hit drama Mad Men, and also stars in the recent romantic thriller The Adjustment Bureau.
Carmageddon: Hollywood Shares Their Plans on Twitter Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 5:49PMRebecca Ford As Los Angeles braces for the 405 Freeway shutdown, Tom Hanks, Adam Levine and Mindy Kaling are among the stars sharing advice and anecdotes. read more
Joan Rivers On Her Louie Appearance, Casey Anthony, and Why a Hitler Joke is Funny in Context Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 5:48PMJoan Rivers Tonight on Louie , Joan Rivers guests as a mentor of sorts to Louis C.K., who joins her backstage at a club in Atlantic City for a heart-to-heart about making it in comedy. Even though there’s booze involved and Joan talks bluntly about blowjobbing one’s way to the top, the conversation is somehow touching and sincere. And then it ends abruptly with the most bizarre encounter ...
TEMECULA: Comedy fundraiser to benefit Michelle's Place Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 5:22PMWhen Orange County-based comedian and self-proclaimed "Trailer Trash Housewife" Vicki Barbolak learned of Michelle's Place and its mission, she was moved by the nonprofit and wanted to help.
Off the Dribble: O'Neal Joining 'Inside the NBA' Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 4:57PMShaquille O'Neal can be charming and funny, but whether he will equal Charles Barkley's outrageousness is unknown.
Don Cheadle and Brendan Gleeson Approach Their Craft Similarly Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 3:38PMThere's a long cinematic tradition of buddy cop movies and an even longer convention of fish-out-of-water comedies.
Borderlands, A review by somebody who was late to the Pandora Party. Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 3:35PMWith the recent downfall of Duke Nukem Forever, what caught my attention about this affair was a lot of my friend's were talking about how Gearbox had failed and the usual comment's about the obscene amount of sexism and drug use that took place within the game. After a "heart felt" discussion with a young man over Xbox live on why he should not purchase the game (by the way he bought it anyway ...
Q&A: Mac OS X Lion — roar or snore? Thursday, July 14, 2011 @ 3:35PMJoin msnbc.com's Rosa Golijan to talk about Mac OS X Lion — the latest version of Apple's popular operating system. The chat starts at 12 noon PT/3 p.m. ET, so get your questions and comments ready.