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Am I bulimic? Help? I don't know what to do?

Well. I was talking to a close friend on the phone yesterday and I always imagine things about myself..I tell her how I look and the mirror and I just view myself as obese, she says I think you have body dysmorphic disorder...and I looked up the diagnosis and it really describes me...I never go to school...Im really concerned with my appearance and ALWAYS take pictures and look in the mirror..and recently Ive been throwing up after every meal...and I feel sick after I eat. I never used to be like this...I used to cut when I was younger and be depressed by my parents never believed me so they ignored it. They also ignored my obsessions with mirror impulses and just told me to stop...Im in a weird mood lately and I feel so fat and ugly and there are other problems to be worrying about in the world besides this stupid issue and Im so obsessed I just want help. Im 145..I go to the gym almost twice a day and my mom has to restrict me sometimes because im so obssessed with the gym. Im becoming crazy and sick, and I dont know who to talk to...do I need help because I feel like it? Im afraid to get help because my mom just lays in bed all day and she refuses to admit shes in depression..I want to become a psychologist one day in the future, im going to school for it, and I feel like I wont be able to if I admit my own problems.. please help I dont know what to do.. its also my last days of senior year.. and I have no friends which also made me think there is a lot wrong with me..they never call or text me, I feel very lonely, and I don't know what to do. Everyone tells me Im such a strong person, but what they dont know is i'm about to break down,im sick its not normal

Public Comments

1. Yes.....I think you have an eating disorder........more precisely bulimia like you said What's more important to you?? Being able to be a psychologist or being healthy? You could DIE from bulimia......and besides who said you can't be a psychologist if you enter treatment??? you still probably could even if you get help! Please get help....I know it's hard but you need it...you really do
2. It sounds like you do have an eating disorder and maybe some depression or anxiety problems. It sounds like your mom may too (with depression) and it is often genetic. Just because she won't seek help doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you are over 18 you can go to a therapist or doctor without your moms permission. If you don't know where to start just tell your regular doctor and get some referrals. You definitely need someone to talk to. You can also find support groups in your area to go to. This is some hard stuff to get over on your own and it is not a bad thing to want and ask for help. If you are in college they may have counseling right at your school. I really hope you can find a way to reach out to a professional for help. You will find out as you study psychology more that you are not alone in this and that there are ways out. Make an appointment for the doctor or a therapist. In the mean time here is a good book on eating disorders http://www.amazon.com/Life-Without-Ed-Declared-Independence/dp/0071422986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1303616216&sr=8-1-spell By the way, many psychologists are attracted to the field because they have personal experience with mental health issues. Don't let that stop you. Healing from this will make you an even better psychologist. If want want people to someday be able to come to you for help you should do the same and seek it for yourself now. And don't be scared to tell your mom. Most people find their parents are more open than they think when they go to them for help. If not, there are still ways you can go ahead and seek the help yourself.