My Funny Picture

Rate this sat essay please...please comment ,grade, etc?

(this is a reposting) ( 2:00 in the morning so tired....25 minute essay please comment....grade) Is creativity needed more than ever in todays world?.....the prompt said something about creativity being important and that in todays world we do not practice it... Creativity is the expression of self, an effusion of that which exists within made to manifest. Humanity has always used creativity to document its history, to state who one is, who a people are and to explain a culture. History has shown us the way our ancestors had lived, the way it is presented tells us who they were, in the form of their paintings and music. In terms of paintings the cave wall pictures in France tell a story of struggle, but also give a peep into the small insight of the Neanderthals that occupied the space thousands of years previously. The paintings by Leonardo Da Vinci and Micheal Angelo reveal the great intellectual growth and aesthetic sense of a people. These paintings showed an evolution of human intellectuality, skill and lifestyle. Culture which is variably interlinked with history is depicted through the art of those that existed. Art which is creativity made manifest comes in the form of pottery, such as those made by the Tainos of the Carribean and also structures, such as those of the Aztecs. Their architectural designs although applicable, practical and pragmatic, they still possessed creativity. In fact the colossal size of the designs and their beauty remain today as indication of of the greatness of a people that existed. If our society lacks creativity, it removes itself from a tradition i.e. a display of our identity through our art, structures or anything else that requires innovation. We subject ourselves to blandness by having repetitiveness especially in todays world were different is quickly becoming more of the same, as borders are erased and gaps between countries and cultures are being closed. An occurrence never before witnessed. This phenomenon should be duly recored. Creativity should be hired to save us from a prosaic lifestyle of banality. If creativity is not practiced we erase 'who we are' from history depriving those of the future, from knowing our greatness, what incited us and how we lived.

Public Comments

1. What the hell does your first sentence even say? It's just a bunch of flowery words thrown together in an unintelligible jumble. If I substitute your buzz words for their meanings your sentence pretty much says this: Creativity is an unrestrained expression of words or feelings of that which exists within made to readily perceived by the senses. WTF? I didn't even read the rest. Try saying something that makes sense instead of just shoving as many buzz words as possible into every sentence.
2. I don't know why you'd write an essay when you were half-awake; the first sentence shows that you are sleepy and trying too hard. An opening sentence needs to be shorter and punchier, which is usually why it's referred to as a "hook." No one wants to start an essay wanting to put a gun in their mouth. Even though there are time constraints, which make it so hard to write a decent essay, the second paragraph is awkward and doesn't flow. You go from Lascaux (cave wall paintings in France, not mentioning Pech-Merle and others) to the Renaissance. The rest of the essay is organized weirdly (though I'm guessing its from lack of sleep) and the ending is typically supposed to restate the thesis and sum up what you have to say. And the one you have does not.