My Funny Picture - I need answers? And lots of help lol....is there a shrink out there?

I need answers? And lots of help lol....is there a shrink out there?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station.. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? Why do people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older ... they were cramming for their finals! Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? Clones are people two. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time." After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market? Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias? Why does Wendy's have square hamburgers? Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ? Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman number

Public Comments

rotfl I WISH I KNEW BY GOD lol great questions I blame the government .. why not..
I ask myself those questions everyday! lol
Wow - now i need help to answer this - very good a star for you
hahahahaha.......I dont know, Im still stuck on why Bush was reelected.....???
I... can't... stop... laughing! xD Brilliant questions!!! xD Have a star! *
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? I have no idea about this one but maybe to keep sick people out, Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Because they are not really Psychics. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? It may have a none sitck surface inside the bottle. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? because ethey don't really know what they are doing and they need to practice on people. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? because you go and he gets richer. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? they want to be cheap/ Can fat people go skinny-dipping? well yeah but it would be called fat dipping. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? con't know sorry. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? you would think it would come out of her nose but it won't. So what's the speed of dark? a;ot slower thrn the speed of light. How come abbreviated is such a long word? i have always wondered that. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? yup. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? yup but ti think it would be something like the sped of light. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for? to be pains in the a$$e$ A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station.. maybe thats where your stops. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? yes they would, well i think they would. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? the fool that came up with that was me, Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? nope, they have lipton breaks. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? you got me. maybe they just put the colour of they have have. Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? i think we should because someone will see the husband and the wives will be able to find them more quicker. Why do people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older ... they were cramming for their finals! beats me. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? i think we are supposed to write to them because when and if they wwrite back they can be found. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? it would be a lot deeper. Clones are people two. yes they are. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? hell yeah. lol If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. that's true. I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time." lol. well you were gone for the whole you were away. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? i don't think they do. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? if they did my cat wouldn't stop eating. lol If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? i don't know. just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. lol, i don't thing they like you watching them. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? to give them their last clean needle in their lives Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? yup that's true. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? yes it is, well i think it is. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? not mine that's forr sure. i would love to know the answer to this question too. Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market? maybe the people who work there take them home for theirselves. Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias? because the food tastes better there. Why does Wendy's have square hamburgers? because they are square. Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? maybe for the way the lines cross over. Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ? i don't know. Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman number? so no one can understand it. Sorry about all the dumb stupid answers.
Star awarded.These are questions I ask myself, jake.Thanks.
Very funny!!! I've asked myself the question about the broker heaps of times!!!!!
LOL LOL . I honestly dont know the answers to these questions but they are darn funny. Thanks !!! =) I hope you are feeling better.
I have to say that half of them are funny. Just being honest. Some of them really make you think. Some of them aren't as tricky as they seem....I.E. The speed of dark would have to be equivilent to the speed of light because it would be leaving just as fast as light showed up.
I'm so tired and so many words it took me forever to read it but I'm glad i did!!!! - why does am/pm have locks on the door? its open 24/7 - why is the brail on drive thru ATM's?? who ha.. so many questions...so little answers.. lol Broker is a term no longer in use, it's financial adviser =)
wow ! this one is one amazing piece of work! well done hats off to u my freind ! excellent job done !i was chuckling from the starter till the last line thanks alot for the humour!
Don't have the answers, my friend, or the psychiatric credentials, but thanks for starting out my day LMAO JAKE !!!!!! You're the King of the Jokes section! I have also pondered so many of these things, one can drive themselves to BellView. It's better just to laugh at them, like we are!!!!!! You never cease to amaze me, and I've only discovered you mere days ago !!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughter & smiles xoxo
whoa.. u one curioes person! ...................edit................ curious.. not curioes.
Hahahaha! I have no idea, lol!