My Funny Picture

Funny Jokes! STAR IF YOU LIKE SOME OF THEM!?

Before < Marriage > After? Before marriage.... He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. She: Do you want me to leave? He: No! Don't even think about it. She: Do you love me? He: Of course! Over and over! She: Have you ever cheated on me? He: No! Why are you even asking? She: Will you kiss me? He: Every chance I get. She: Will you hit me? He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person! She: Can I trust you? He: Yes. She: Darling! After marriage.... Simply read from bottom to top. - I teach preschool, 2 year olds. When I was Pregnant with my 3rd child, I saw no reason to tell my class because they were so young. As the year was coming to an end, I grew quite large. One of my little darlings came up to me and said," Miss Ilene, your belly is getting very fat!" I asked this little boy if he'd like to know why, and he said yes. I told him I had a baby in my tummy. He walked away, saying nothing. The next day, this happy, never cry child pitched a fit when his mother tried to leave. She pulled him aside and they talked for a few minutes, and the little boy calmed down, and the mom was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what happened and she said, "Adam thought you might eat him, you've already eaten a baby." - One of the teachers had a kindergartner come up to her and say that he found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead. The student said it was dead. The teacher asked how he knew. The boy said, "I pissed in it's ear." The teacher said, "You what?" He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead." - The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead." - I teach 2nd grade and have many funny stories, but this one tops them all. One day little girl in my cousin's first grade class went home and asked her mother what testicles were. Caught off guard, her mother sat down and gingerly began to explain, as best as she could, what they were. After the long spill, the little girl looked at her mother and said, "That is not what my teacher told me they were. She told me that you wear them on your eyes to help you see better!" Needless to say, it was spectacles (glasses) that were being talked about!! One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive. She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car. After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so she parked the car, got out and walked over to the cop car, looked at the cop and said, "Aren`t you going to arrest me?". The cop asked, "why?" She replied, "Cause I was drinking and driving!" The cop looked at her in bewilderment and answered, "We can`t arrest you if you`re driving while drinking water!" There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says, "whoa! Its getting hot in here!" The other muffin says, "HOLY CRAP!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Public Comments

1. I needed a good laugh, thanks!
2. sorry just thought i'd let you know that not many people are going to read that... i recommend shortening it up next time.
3. I love the first one!
4. funny
5. First one is the best lol
6. thnkz! nice jokes!
7. loved this on The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."
8. heh heh thanks very funny that was an awesome end for my night you rock
9. the eating baby one was funny
10. nice jokes
11. Thanks, it is always nice to share a laugh. Star for you.
12. I absolutely loved the first one and the last one...
13. pretty good! mind if I use a few of them?
14. man! tt sure brightened my day:]
15. 10 out of 10 take a bow, clap clap clap clap clap.
16. Love the marriage one The Frog One The Blonde One and the school photo one
17. i cant stop laughing
18. that rocks !..funny
19. lol, hilarious, 10/10, star.
20. they were all interesting nd superb...njoyed them a lot....
21. good ones thanks
22. Cool! Clever. I love it! Please post more jokes if you could! I Love IT ! LOVE It!! Very clever! If you have previous jokes, could you post the web links also? Thank you! I just loved it so much! This whole day I am not smiling and then when I read this, it really put the smile in my face. Thank You.
23. HILARIOUS!!!
24. Fatima and responders...If you enjoy the children based jokes then you have a real treat waiting for you!!! come into section of yahoo answers where you "ask" and type in this question. what is the funniest or most embarrassing thing your child has done in public? I asked it in about 4 different places and the questions and responses will pop up as similar questions already asked. just start reading and be prepared for ALOT of laughter. I wanted to repost the answers but YA staff said i couldn't because it was against policy. My response to flames posting is a star and 2 if YA would let me!!! SMILE :) I am gonna ask it in a few more places and post the best of the best anyways!!! If you enjoy what you read watch for the question. Whats the worst YA will do to me for breaking the rules with this type of question?? Hopefully it would just be taking down the question!!! Oh Well...read and enjoy!!!
25. Ha ha ha love the group photo one and the one with the frog, really funny oh and the baby one ha ha ha they were all good =)
26. great stories
27. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! LO FREAKIN L! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!! THAT WAS SOOOOOO FUNNY! YOU DESERVE 20 STARS!!! **STARS FOR YOU**