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How do you keep guys from proposing too soon?

I am 25, first off and know this is a weird problem but guys seem to 'pop the question' way too fast and without discussing it or even asking if I am ready. Also, they have all proposed WITHOUT a ring? Why do men do this? Especially why do men do this when they don't have a great job, can't afford a ring or wedding and are still not settled in thier life? All three times I made it CLEAR that 1) I wasn't ready for marriage 2) I still have a lot of things I want to do in my life (finish school etc). 3) we had not been together very long. The most recent guy, I have only been with 6 months, he's a few years younger than me and I really do love him. He asked me to marry him a few days ago and I personally feel like it really messed up our relationship. I did NOT want things to get this serious this quickly and again made this CLEAR from the beggining. The way he did it was also weird. He has given me a 'promise ring' a few months back...he asked if he could see it, then went into the bathroom (acting all nervous and bizzare) came back out, got down on his knees and RE-GAVE me the SAME RING put it on my finger and asked me to marry him. The whole time I was acting really annoyed and embarassed, thinking "Please god let him not ask" and he still asked. I said yes, but then a few days later said "I don't really want to be engaged why can't we just get to know eachother and be bf and gf?" Then I let him know in a nice way, that most girls expect AN ENGAGEMENT RING, not a cheap "promise" ring! WTF is a 'promise ring' anyway? I would just rather be with someone a year or 2 and get a real ring! Seriously guys, promise rings are stupid, wait and get her a real one. It's really awful for a girl to get all excited then get a cheap 'promise ring' when they expected the real deal. It's especially bad if you have not been together long. It comes off as being really cheap and manipulative, IMHO. I am getting really annoyed now and seriously want to break up with him. I had asked him not to tell anyone the night he 'poped the question" and he went and told like 8 of his friends and people at work. THANK GOD he didn't tell his family but I am really embarassed because we are both in school and people all telling him "Dude, it's way too soon." Also, all three guys who have asked me, did it in really "geeky" ways. I am not saying I need a "chick flick" fantasy engagement BUT seriously do I just attract pathetic guys? All popped the question without a ring (aside from the indian-given promise ring he ALREADY gave me then used to propose after asking to 'see' it, is this tacky?) and all of them got all tongue tied, stupid and stuttering like "Uh...um...I want to um...ask um..." and ALWAYS had to say "You look so beautiful" over and over and OVER! I appriciate that these guys like me so much but HOW can I explain to guys and make it sink in that I want to GET TO KNOW SOMEONE WELL before they pop the question? Why do they always have to add "you look beautiful" to a proposal. I am not kidding BTW...does anyone else find "You're sooo beautiful...will you marry me?" a little shallow? Why can't they just keep my looks out of the picture when they propose? How also can these think they want to marry me when 1) They aren't willing to put in time to get to know me as a person. 2) They haven't been with me that long 2) They know I don't want to get married right now? It's almost like I feel that all of them have been like "You are hot, I like you, you like me, lets get married." without putting 'work' into a relationship first. I am so sick of this! One guys popped the question 2 weeks into a relationship, one guy popped the question a month after dating, this one just 6 months? Can't I just have a 'normal' boyfriend for year or so? Can't we just get to know eachother without him getting all hung up over my looks? And how to I explain without sounding like a shallow person that I DON'T want another stupid 'promise' ring? Why do they all have to get so clingy and obsessed with me so fast? I might be pretty but that doesn't mean I want a guy taking over my life. It seems like I can't just "see" someone casually, they all get obsessed and try to take control and define our relationship before I am ready. I have had to dump SO many guys just because they were "Ooooh you're so beautiful" all the time almost to the psycotic point or because they started getting jealous and clingy after just a few dates. Are they falling in love with ME or the fact that I am blonde, tall, thin etc? Someone help! I don't know what to do I am so confused! Sorry about my long rant...if anyone can help though, they get 10 points!

Public Comments

1. Maybe you are so hot they can't help themselves. Sometimes when I"m with a really hot woman, I feel like I want to propose.
2. You should make them read all of that and they will be running for the hills.
3. Clearly you're upset... Sorry, hon, but most guys are visual creatures and simply aren't going to ignore looks. Get used to it. And, it sounds to me like you're attracting guys that you don't want to be in relationship with. My serious answer is: take a look at what kind of 'bait' you're using and you'll figure out why you keep pulling in the wrong kind of 'fish'.
4. Aw at least they are showing you that they love you. I think you might be a little cold hearted. Has anyone ever hurt you? They might be proposing now but a engagement can be however long you want it to be. Next time hear the guy out because one day you'll look around and realize you pushed away something great in life.
5. Well first of all, I don't think it's fair to be upset by the way they proposed or the ring they had. A marriage/engagement should not be about the ring itself. I mean having a bigger ring doesn't mean that they love you anymore than someone who receives a smaller ring or a promise ring. Also, the stuttering, is just normal. They are nervous. It's a scary situation to propose and the thought of rejection is just a killer for guys. Second, when you begin dating these men, after you are together a little while, do you discuss things like marriage? Maybe sooner in your relationship you should discuss those types of things to see if you are on the same page. It seems to me you are dating mean who are just on a whole different page than you. They are ready to take the next step, and you aren't. Maybe you need to re-evaluate the relationship. Good luck though!
6. my fiancee did the same thing hahah we had promise rings for promising to stay faithful while he went to the army, and to be honest, i thought it was cute that he used it as the engagement ring, i mean, what am i supposed to do with all those rings anyway? i think that what you need to do is make it clear in the beginning of the relationship, before it even gets close to that. if you tell them, then if they do ask later, they will feel like the idiot when you remind them and say no. chances are, they wont even try if you make it clear to them first off. promise rings are for teens, not really people your age, tell them that so that they understand. if you be honest in the beginning, you will find that your relationship will go a whole hell of a lot better, and you wont be keeping secrets from each other, they wont have the idea that you will marry them, and you wont feel tied down from the start. i know i dont make much sense...but its all i have ^-^
7. You need to find somebody in your league, sounds like you've been dating a few knotches too low. It sounds like you don't have to settle for someone who is A) not as good looking as you and B) doesn't have any money. Look for a rich handsome guy who is afraid of commitment, that should give you all the time and space you want.
8. You must be way better looking than the guys you date or a frickin magician in the bedroom. Guys must get orgasms just by looking at you. But seriously I think there is something about you that is attracting these kind of guys. They seem to be losers based on the information you give and don't seem to have much going for themselves if they can't even afford to get you a ring. Who does that? You seem to be smart enough to realize what you want in life and how you deserve to be treated, but I am sensing some insecurity on your part that causes you to settle for these losers. Its as if you like dating these guys because you know your the best thing thats ever happened to them and you love the attention they give you. I would suggest raising your standards and start dating people who are on your level. By now you should know that you have super powers and could probably hook a good man with whatever it is that you do. Remember, the people you date are a reflection of the person you are.