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Is it okay to renew vows for 5th anniversary? or would people find that weird/too early?

so basically, and i know its terrible to say, i really didnt like my wedding. just about everything ended up wrong. i ended up pregnant so we had to move our wedding date a lot sooner (i had already bought my dress and needed to fit into it). so i was 4mos pregnant and 8lbs heavier. i had an allergic reaction to face cream i used the night before so my face was puffy/blotchy. my hair and makeup came out terrible as did my veil someone made for me, the food was not good, i was sick all day, the pictures are completely terrible (we never even ordered one single print they were so bad. coloring was way off, blury, almost none with the wedding party). we had to invite so many distant relatives we werent able to invite any of our friends. so anyway you get the point. i really want to renew our vows so i can have the day i always dreamed of having and look beautiful, have lots of pics with everyone, invite just close family and friends, have good food, etc. our 5th anniversary is coming up and i would love to having a "wedding re-do" lol. we dont want people to bring gifts or anything, just to do it the way we wanted (only scaled back obviously). i'm afraid though that people will think its ridiculous since its just our 5th anniversary (we have been together for 8yrs though). but i dont know if i want to wait til our 10th because i want to do it while we are still younger haha. and our kids are 4 and 2 so they could be ring bearer/flower girl which would be so neat. does it seem odd to do this for our 5th?

Public Comments

1. I don't think it's too early to renew your vows. My husband and I are actually thinking of doing the same thing for our 5th year anniversary which will be coming up soon. Our wedding was small, and I just didn't like the way it turned out. So even though we'll have only been married 5 years we plan on doing a "re-do" then, lol. The same as you, I don't want to wait for the 10 year. I want it while we're young and will look pretty in all the pictures! lol. And our kids would really enjoy it also (ages 4 and 1 1/2). So I say, go for it! =)
2. I think you should do it. Its for you to make you happy and no one else. Dont worry what they think if they dont like it then they dont have to come. Do it and have the wedding of your dreams
3. Don't worry about what other people think do what you want to do. I think it's romantic
4. That sounds very nice - I say go for it! Best wishes.
5. Do it! My fifth is next year and I was thinking of the same thing. I just need to figure out how to do it on a small yet intimate scale. Good luck!
6. I think you should go for it! I've only been married for a year and I would like to renew my vows because our wedding was horrible as well... Congrats on your soon to be 5 years!
7. Renewing Vows, as far as I've read, you could have it as a second wedding as a religious or legal marriage, or just to remind each other that you love each other and your children. You could hold it whenever you want to, especially because it is your wedding.
8. I won't deceive you or flatter you with cliches like "it's your day, you can do what you want": vow renewals can foster hard feelings in friends and family and aren't generally successful in taking away bad memories. If I were you I'd try other things first and consider a vow renewal an absolute last-ditch remedy to your very real and very important problem. Vow renewals aren't traditional, but for the very short period of time they've been around they've either taken place after a long period of married bliss or after a short period of married non-bliss - after events like a life-threatening illness, deployment, infidelity, infertility, or substance abuse problems. That's why people tend to assume that any vow renewal that takes place so soon after a wedding must have followed some kind of personal tragedy the bride and groom have kept silent about. Tongues wag and they wag hard, no matter how much the couple attempts to explain. You have to decide whether you can handle this. It may also be seen by others as a waste of money to spend thousands of dollars on a vow renewal at a time when people are losing their homes and their jobs, especially if any of your friends or family are in that situation. They may even be hurt or resentful that you spent money on yourselves instead of helping them or donating to charity, or may see you as - and I don't believe this myself, but I have to put it out there - not too smart. From the people I've spoken with who have been in your exact circumstance, their vow renewals have been fun but haven't done a thing to take away the sadness about the original wedding. I wish they had, because the only other thing that seems to help is counselling, and that's not cheap either (but a lot cheaper than a renewal). Apparently the counselling helped them to realize that society overstates the importance of the wedding, especially to women who are taught from infancy that their wedding will be the "most important day of their lives", and that putting the wedding in proper perspective can make things easier, given time and work. This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. What it means is that you should go into it with your eyes open, realizing that some of your friends and family won't understand why you're doing it and may be angry that you're spending the money, and realizing that it may not give you the result you want. Good luck!