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My girlfriend is never there for me. I feel depressed. What should I do?

I've been dating my girlfriend online for the past five years now. Shes the most sweetest girl I've ever met, shes my first girlfriend, we've met up before as well. According to her, her parents restrict her from using the internet and force her to do chores. She says she has no life and no time to herself. Shes stopped talking to me a lot like she used to along time ago (it used to be everyday). Sometimes she won't talk to me in 2 whole weeks..3 weeks..a month and a half. I e-mail her every single day, leave so many text messages, offline MSN messages and constantly think about her. I notice sometimes her MSN will be online and her display name will change from time-to-time and her MSN will be online for about an hour or so. Her display pictures will change time-to-time as well and she'll appear at times "Busy", "Be Right Back", or otherwise mostly online. Sometimes I'll even see her on Facebook and poke her. So I think inside, is she playing me for a fool? When I confronted her one day, I said to her "I know you've been online, based on your MSN display message changing, pics changing, etc. why is it that you never reply to my e-mails?" she tells me the same story about her parents being "mean" to her and that she only has a few minutes online. I then angrily told her, if you have enough time to sign on MSN, change your display name, picture, come on Facebook, why can't you spare a single minute in replying to my e-mails? I told her how much I missed her company. If there are any girls out there wondering how our relationship went, I would like your opinion too, I have always helped her out in her school projects when she needed help (were both in highschool in the same country) to the point I did 3 all-nighters helping her (I am not lying). Occasionaly, I would e-mail her poems that I wrote up, or send really heart-warming e-mails expressing my emotions for her. I always tell her I love you, but she never says it back or she'll say "love you" without putting the "I" in the "love you". I even notice at times whenever I say to her "I missed you so much" she'll reply "missed you too". What the hell is up with that? Is she afraid to say "I love you?" (Emphasis on the "I" part). I get the feeling sometimes shes using me to help her out, she hardly says sweet things to me or will say it when I'm helping her, when she is free and is online she never messages me on her own accord, I always message her. I think to myself "why don't I just let her message me for once?" So I would wait for days..and days..and it would drive me nuts (because I would feel really lonely) eventually I would message her and she'd get angry why I didn't speak to her. I feel very clueless what the heck to do. I dream about her a lot before I go to sleep..my dreams are about me living with her in our own house..whenever I see couples outside I always think about her..and sometimes in private I feel like crying inside because shes never there for me or will make up some excuse. I'm also too scared about breaking up with her because I fear she'll play the guilt trip on me and since its an online relationship, it's too hard to know if she's being truthful or not about her excuses. I also don't want to feel lonely either. When I did confront her about her not replying back to my e-mails, she'll either apologize, not reply or not really care about it. When she is online she will sound bitter about her life (ie. she's never left the country and can't go on a vacation because of her parents). I don't know what to do. She told me her mother lost her job recently and her grandmother died last year. (All unverified, but I somewhat believe her) I don't want to break-up because what if she's right about her life? It will destroy her completely if I break up with her and she'll hate me forever. I don't want to be uncompassionate to her but at the same time I feel so depressed because I feel no love from her. I'm scared if I break up she will also get back at me and try and ruin my career (I have some political ambitions). I've told her how hurt I feel when she's never there for me or makes time for herself when she's online ang ignores me but I get scared inside about hurting her feelings. I'm so clueless, what should I do? I still have some feelings for her but I don't know if she loves me. I'm contemplating on breaking-up with her or waiting for her to be free for me..one day. I don't know what's the moral and right thing to do..

Public Comments

1. That was so long. But okay from what I've read this is what I personally think. So, with the contact everyday, be it texts or emails or whatever I think you are being a little too clingy to her, and she is starting to notice that so she is backing off from you. No girl likes an overly clingy guy, and I am sorry but it seems like you are one. Also, you do a lot for her, and after that long of a relationship she should tell you why as you deserve an answer. "Mean" parents doesn't cut it and yes it is weird that she does not respond to your emails or facebook even though she has time for MSN and changing pictures and whatnot but you must understand that she needs space, you're suffocating her. This is tough, but I think you should give her some space and if she still acts like this or doesn't even contact you just break it off because it isn't worth the stress, pain and anger you are too young to feel like this just go out and have fun.
2. This might seem a bit harsh, but I'm just being honest. I do think it's time to end the relationship. You seem to be living a lot of your life on the computer. If you're a young, healthy person you need to be out accomplishing positive goals instead of obsessing about some young woman you might not know that well (since you're doubting her frequently and can't verify that she's being honest.) You're not going to get far in politics or anything else if you're always on the computer and a long distance relationship of that duration surely should have progressed beyond little to no contact after five years. Perhaps you both have a different view of the relationship. It sounds as if she thinks of you as a casual friend, if that, since you say she's on the computer and ignoring you. Please consider what I say and get out there and enjoy your life. Meet some new people and use the talents God has given you to make your life and the life of others better. Sounds like that young woman might be deceptive and exploitative.
3. Your Answer: i know this isnt what you want to hear.. but i think that your relationship with her seems like too much work.. and i dont think that you should be investing so much of your time and emotion and effort on somebody who isnt going to give it back. (you're in highschool, you should be taking full advantage of it, enjoying it, and making memories.. not stressing and doing her homework and loving someone who isn't giving you what you deserve. i know you said that you didnt want to hurt her.. but she's kind of hurting you. and yea.. it might hurt her for some time.. and maybe you even. but it's probably better for the both of you. you can still maintain a friendship with this girl.. you've been with her for five years there's no need to completely cut it off. i just feel like.. after five years.. she should be able to put enough trust and invest enough of herself to be able to confidently tell you that she loves you. i'm sorry that you're in this situation.. it really sucks but i hope this helped and that you figure everything out. good luck!