My Funny Picture

Found letter from his ex... received while we were together. He kept the letter...?

My boyfriend and I just moved from our trailer into a house. So we were going through things and throwing stuff away. While I unpacked the new house he went to the other place to get stuff that was in the shed. There are some things we need to fix at the house so every now and then we stop in to fix what we can when we have time. On my way home from work tonight I stopped in to grab the trash cans and bring them to the driveway so they can be emptied. Well, an animal knocked down one of the trash cans and the stuff was everywhere, so I had to pick it up. I found pics of my boyfriends ex, and pics of her baby.. and even a license plate that says **** loves ******. None of this bothered me because they have been apart for over a year. BUT here's the kicker... She owed him money, so she send him a check in the mail about 3 months into him and my relationship. Fine, no problem.. but little did I know, there was a letter in with the check. Telling him she loves him and wants him back, and all this other crap. He tells me up and down he is over her... BUT, he kept the letter and hid it with all of the other secret stuff of hers he had. If he was over her, he would have thrown it away right?? Now, he's telling me I had no right to read it because it was personal. But there was no reason for him to keep it. I don't know what to think now, and whether I should stay with him. AND... he was going to propose to her but she cheated on him and had some other guys baby, and he won't get rid of the ring her bought for her. help?

Public Comments

1. He's with you, not with her. I see your point with the ring, but obviously he's dealing with some emotional issues. Have you ever tried to talk to him politely about it, to see how he feels and if he is truly ready to move onto the next level. I really try not to pester my hubby with things like this, it's all basically mental. I've found pictures of girls in his iPhone and all I have to do is say, "Ak pock, who is this?" and he'll say something like, "Oh, it's this girl that my friend blah blah blah had over to the house." I'm not really the jealous type. But talk to him. He obviously loves you since he's with you.
2. At least you are winning the fight to get this prize.
3. Geeeez...shouldn't you be WALLPAPERING or something? If he is with you...and you guys are "together" enough to be moving into a new house, stay OUT of the TRASH....It was put there for a REASON!
4. Why would you worry? If he received the letter after you two got together and she asked him to come back and he didn't, then why worry. He chose YOU! I still have stuff of my ex b/c he is a part of my past and not everything was bad. Leave him alone.
5. I don't think you can automatically conclude that he was hanging onto it because he still loves her. Maybe he kept it because it was what made him realize that he was really, truly over her. Or it didn't even matter enough to him to make a big production out of tossing until now. The important thing is that he didn't run back to her, and he did throw it out. Let her go and don't let her memory keep interfering with your relationship, especially if there really isn't any desire on his part to bring her back into it.
6. He won't get rid of the ring he bought for her.Seems maybe there is a chance that HE thinks that they will get back together.If I was you,I would sit him down and ask him what he really wants.As far as him telling you that you had no right to look into his things.Tell him maybe next time,he would hide them better and you wouldn't find them. Seems this guy needs to think what he wants in life and not play games with people's heart.Good Luck.
7. Maybe he is just sentimental keeping reminders of his past relationship. It was an accident that you read the letter but it was also an invasion of his privacy. If you love him, give him the benefit of the doubt. I am sure he isn't dumb enough to go back to someone that cheated. ( if they cheat once, they will cheat again). Make your apologies for reading his letter and let it go. If he loves you he isn't going anywhere; be secure in your relationship and try not to worry about an old flame.
8. He is right. You had no right to read the letter. And if it was in the trash then he did throw it away, right? Or did you snoop to find the letter? Either way, I wouldn't trust you if I were him.
9. You know, everyone has a past. everyone needs memories. Some of those memories are in letters, pic's, notes whatever. I see nothing wrong with the fact that he had this letter, he is still with you isn't he? I have been married for 14 years and I still have ALL my cards, notes, letters, pic's, gifts and everything else ever given to me from all of my old relationships. I keep them all put up, my husband knows about them- he didn't like it at first either, but I let him know quick that those are MY memories of the past and no one will take them away from me. And guess what, my husband has a box too, he wanted to throw it all away when we got married, but I would not let him. It doesn't make any sense to me to try to make someone forget/or lose/or throw away the past, everyone has a past- and that is just it, it is the PAST. I does people good to go back through all that stuff now and again. I just love to reminisce once in a while. I know this is not what you wanted to hear, and I may be the only one you see talking like this but hopefully everyone else will read it too and see a different prospective other than jealousy. Good luck to you
10. stop worrying. he is yours now obviously he doesnt want her...but i bet you are a rebound thing so be looking for another place to live and dont give up on the trailer house just yet..you may need a roof over your head
11. If you found it in the trash (where it belongs) then he was ready to throw it away. He is with you. Don't rock the boat. What's past is done and he isn't there anymore. Who cares if he kept the letter from you, he probably didn't want to hurt you. Maybe you would overreact like you are now?:
12. Your over-reacting. If he wanted her he'd be w/her. He obviously loves you and probably just kept it for memories sake. Nice payback for what she chose to give up and he's all yours now. Send her a card thanking her. Be polite lol :o)
13. This is seriously to much drama....do you really want all that crap in your life? Get rid of the guy and the drama.
14. She is part of his history - why should he have to dump that part of his life? He has obviously chosen you over her. You are worrying unnecessarily.
15. mshill, not everybody get rid of stuff when they break up. I myself keep momentoes of past life. I keep a greeting card from my ex the same way I keep the slam book from high school. They are part of my past. That I keep them is no reflection on my feelings on the people I am with now. Everyone is entitled to a past. His keeping a letter and ring doesn't mean anything in itself. But are there other issues ? May be you should keep an eye open.