My Funny Picture

I hate this! Help?

I hate today because one of my friends took some pictures of my ex-girlfriend and me at a place we worked together. I didn't want to see the pictures but I looked just to remember. I felt great when I remembered the time we had, and how we used to be. But when I went back to the real world I went to the bathroom at school & brokedown. I still love my ex, but I asked out this one girl I like & we aren't going out yet. I hate the memories. Why can't I forget about the past like other people? I think it's because in some weird sick way I like the mental pain. I don't like it but at the same time it feels good like it's the only time I feel a strong feeling. I used to cut and stop as a promise to my ex, that I wouldn't hurt myself but then she lied about kissing her bff's brother who fingered her. So why should I keep my promise. Pain seems like my only friend that helps me. Why is this happening? Should I blame myself for her dumping me? I never hurt her or made her cry, & I never would.

Public Comments

1. ur sofferring from depression if i were u i wold check this sit out WWW.notmykid.org
2. U should not blame urself for what happened, it wasnt ur fault.... things happen for a reason and u and ur ex were not meant to be together. U need to learn how to let go and forget... keeping the memories in ur mind is obviously torturing u so try to block them out; its hard but its possible! Dont cut urself though; keep that promise, not for her, but for urself... pain is not gonna change anything and will only make u hurt more. If u like another girl, invite her to go out somewhere and try to spend more time with her.... make new friends and try different activities each day... it should help you get one step ahead! Good luck!
3. ive been in a situation similar to this....i know kind of how u feel. anout liking the mental pain. i kinda did(do) also. like weni would cry about my ex i would look in the mirrior so it would make me keep crying. it is sick, like u said. but its better than self-harm. believe me, i tried that road too. didnt work out so well. my ex and i both cut, bcuz of each other and other stuff. but i promised him that if he stopped i would stop too, and he hasnt cut since september. i cut a couple weeks ago, but it only broke skin, no bleeding. eventually, situations like this will happen to everyone, you cant blame anyone, its no ones fault, its just....wat it is. u cant change it, u just have to try and move on. its good that you already asked another girl out tho,at least u WANT to move on.... hope this helped : ) email me if u need any more help
4. WOAH. That's a very....interesting drama story you got there. It's hard to forget a love, especially your first. So keep this promise. If she didn't keep hers, that's her problem. If you keep yours, she'll know how bright and true you are to your heart. P.S. Please stop cutting, I lost two friends to it :[ It brings back the wrong feelings to me. Don't blame yourself for the break-up. Your only what? 14? You have a whole life in front of you! You'll meet many more out there. One break-up might seem like dying, but really, it's like being re-born. Fresh new start. You just have to clean more to view more space.