My Funny Picture - What should I do? Why am I like this?

What should I do? Why am I like this?

Today because one of my friends took some pictures of my ex-girlfriend and me at a place we worked together. I didn't want to see the pictures but I looked just to remember. I felt great when I remembered the time we had, and how we used to be. But when I went back to the real world I went to the bathroom at school & brokedown. I still love my ex, but I asked out this one girl I like & we aren't going out yet. I hate the memories. Why can't I forget about the past like other people? I think it's because in some weird sick way I like the mental pain. I don't like it but at the same time it feels good like it's the only time I feel a strong feeling. I used to cut and stop as a promise to my ex, that I wouldn't hurt myself but then she lied about kissing her bff's brother who fingered her. So why should I keep my promise. Pain seems like my only friend that helps me. Why is this happening? Should I blame myself for her dumping me? I never hurt her or made her cry, & I never would.

Public Comments

Dude you need help fast, if you think like that you really need to see someone bro.
yes, you need help. it's not your fault or anyone's really, but you need to seek help.
pain isn't your friend. i used to think that an eating disorder was my best friend. it's not. when you're feeling other emotions besides pain... is pain there? no! you're hiding behind your pain as i hid behind my disorder. i knew that i was anorexic and that was my label. i like being able to call myself something. and know thats who i was. you aren't a cutter... you used to use pain as an outlet but don't label yourself as a cutter. you're just cutting yourself to hide other emotions. bc the pain subdues all the other emotions. forget about a girlfriend... honestly... they only cause more stress and drama am i right? yesss. don't blame yourself... there are so many other girls and because 1 didn't work even if you loved her... i thought i loved alot of people and it turns out that love lasted a month. it's weird but you can't blame yourself ro anything. just always remember you only live ONCE... don't ruin your memories by cutting and being sad all the time. think positively even when the times are hard. think of it like this... you may've let her go but there's going to be so many better girls in college and in life and so many better things to do than be miserable bc of one girl. she obviously isn't worth it if she dumped you. just let her live her life and forget her. keep your promise about not hurting yourself... for YOURSELf. not for anyone else. bc if you keep it up youll probably end up killing yourself and life is so precious. i know so many friends that would give ANYTHING for be back on the earth for another year. their lives were cut short at 16 and 17... and here you are cutting yourself and wasting your life over a girl. get out ther eand have fun. be who you are!!!
I can't give you any better advice then ISAAC J ...other then to tell you I totally agree with him. You need to get some help before those feelings to hurt yourself get stronger! NO ONE is worth that dude!
just go ahead it helps me all the time
the answer is easy, you are a bitch, get a man and then join the gay clan or get another girl and dump her for no reason too, keep doing this until you enjoy it, make it sport, eventually their tears will bring you great joy, then when you are up to maybe three a week, tell your mother all fun youve been having nd see if she dont laugh her ass off
emo idiot keep on cutting sucka
I think its important for you to promise to YOURSELF that you aren't going to self harm. If you like physical pain, why not go for a huge run? or something else? I strongly advise seeing a counsellor :-) They dont judge and they can help provide you with options. xoxox
Well sometimes its hard to forget the ones we love i think about my ex everyday wondering if he thinks about me. I don't think pain is going to help you if you had a special moment with your ex that you will ever forget of course your still going to have feelings for her even though she hit you where it hurts! Trust me there is nothing wrong with you your just human!
Some people call what you feel a "martyr syndrome." You can actually get satisfaction from emotional pain. Mental pain can become just as "good" a feeling, (if you want to call it that,) as actual happiness. But it's up to you to get yourself out of this trap. Don't continue thinking about bad memories. Avoid places and situations that remind you of her. GET OUT AND LIVE! Go out with friends or be with family. Go to the library, a show, join a youth group. Do volunteer work at a Boys and Girls Club, hospital, or your local animal shelter. Start to do good things in place of entertaining the thoughts that will drag you down. And for pete's sake, watch what music you listen to!!! Music can drag you down to the pits or lift your spirits where they should be. You have created a habit you HAVE to break. Choose uplifting things to replace the "painful" thoughts and actions of your past. And NOOOOOOOOO you shouldn't blame yourself for her dumping you. Some people are in your lives for but a time - as she was. But remember, people like to be around people that make them happy and they have a good time with. You need to become one of those. And you will be surprised how quickly "Miss Right" will come your way. Best of luck from a FORMER martyr and one happy gal, now.