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good car pranks? im getting revenge on a loser (:? basically...he was talking to three girls at once. i was one of them. he also flirts with me all the time and now he has a gf....and i found out hes been telling ppl i like him and i text him allll the time saying i miss him and i want to get with him ! NOT TRUE AT ALL. so i told him off last week, but my friends suggest we get revenge and trash his car. nothing illegal or permanently damaging, of course. were already saran wrapping and sticking nasty things in it, writing on windows, and toilet papering. and dont tell me not to do it cause im an angry girl right now hahah. any ideas? (:

any good car pranks? i need revenge on a guy haha? basically...he was talking to three girls at once. i was one of them. he also flirts with me all the time and now he has a gf....and i found out hes been telling ppl i like him and i text him allll the time saying i miss him and i want to get with him ! NOT TRUE AT ALL. so i told him off last week, but my friends suggest we get revenge and trash his car. nothing illegal or permanently damaging, of course. were already saran wrapping and sticking nasty things in it, writing on windows, and toilet papering. and dont tell me not to do it cause im an angry girl right now hahah. any ideas? (:

i need to get revenge on a douchbag. any good car pranks? basically...he was talking to three girls at once. i was one of them. he also flirts with me all the time and now he has a gf....and i found out hes been telling ppl i like him and i text him allll the time saying i miss him and i want to get with him ! NOT TRUE AT ALL. so i told him off last week, but my friends suggest we get revenge and trash his car. nothing illegal or permanently damaging, of course. were already saran wrapping and sticking nasty things in it, writing on windows, and toilet papering. and dont tell me not to do it cause im an angry girl right now hahah. any ideas? (:

What are some good pranks to pull on someone's car? I don't want to vadalize or be mean with eggs. Just a fun prank on a car for revenge.

anybody know any good car pranks? hey does anyone have any good pranks i can do to my friends car he recently egged mine so i want revenge

good revenge prank to a friend's car? my friend is a senior in high school and on wednesday is his last day. in the student parking lot his car is parked there. any good ideas on pranks we call pull on his car? we have to be careful cause classes nearby with windows are there. any kind of prank. i want some good, even crazy but plausible ideas.

what are good revenge pranks? my friend had her car wrapped in saran wrap and written on with whipped cream.. we want to get the girl back. any suggestions?

Good revenge prank for my roomate? 2 days ago my friend came into the air conditioner of my car. When i started her up, It was so bad I had to run inside and change my clothes. What is a good prank for revenge?

I need a good prank for revenge? Two of my friends and I decided to suran wrap,sticky note and pickle and we added ketchup and tampons, to our good friends car one night and my best friend decided to start taking pictures with a flash and the guy ended up catching us...in his boxers...and he said hes going to get us back ten times worse and now it's war! So I'm a lil afraid because he's creative and sneaky, that is why I am trying to find the best way possible to get him back if he decides to do something bad. Please help me!

Good prank/revenge ideas? So, a somewhat friend of mine and I are in the middle of a war. He decided to saran-wrap my car tonight almost 3 inches thick. I really need a good prank to get him back. And I need ideas. Please keep everything legal, though it doesn't necessarily have to be all moral.. :D Thanks

Need a good revenge prank. Non damaging, hard to clean up though, can't be re-usable. Help? Some friends dumped rice all over my car. Jerks, had to vacuum it out of the engine and stuff. So I need to get my revenge, need ideas for something that wouldn't be monetarily damaging, that would be difficult and/or time consuming to take care of, and would not be able to be re-used against me (IE - rice again, they can just scoop it up and dump it back on my car). Any thoughts?

How do i get revenge on someones car? I need to get revenge on someones car that i wont have to get up close but if its good enough maybe i can... so if anyone has revenge scemes not pranks please post em!

Need a good car prank to pull on someone =]? So, my car was tagged by these guys I have class with, they also tagged a few other cars (with window paint) ha ha hilarious, right? well anyways, I am planning revenge I might get the other two's help but don't know for sure. The only time we can get to their vehicles in during our class together, they did their "prank" before class So any ideas please, I was thinking about saran wrap and spray paint =] but any other ideas are great. Thanks for helping me with my revenge muhahah =] Well I was planning on first spray painting the saran wrap and THEN stiking it on the car so it gives the look of a spray painted car haha

i need a good revenge prank? so this girl egged my car, i need to think of something good to do. she doesnt have a car or else i would out sugar in it. & i never see her or else i would just beat her up. so i need to get her house. i wanna do so much stuff to it, but i want something good. any ideas? please helpp im gonna get like ketchup and put it everwhere. but i need something better then tp, already thought of it. i wanna ruin her house

Poll: What would be a good prank be to get revenge on someone? he put syrup on the bottom of my car handle.... >.> I need a really good prank.

Need a good revenge prank? Okay my friend covered my entire car in sticky notes. Kinda lame but annoying at the same time. I need a way to get her back 10 times better. Anything legal goes.

What is a good prank on a car?I want a good one that will piss him off really bad!? HE STOLE UP TO 200$ ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!! AND I THINK ITS TIME FOR REVENGE!! AND HE LOVES HIS CAR TO DEATH!! OH I FORGOT HE LEFT ME AND MY BEST FRIEND AT THE HOTEL OUT OF TOWN ON MY BIRTHDAY!! HE LEFT WHILE WE WERE SLEEP!! AND CHOSE NOT TO ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN WE CALLED!! THEN HAD THE NERVE TO CALL US THIS PASS WEEKEND ASKING DO WE WANNA HANG OUT!! AND WE AREN'T THE ONLY GIRLS HE HAVE DONE THAT TOO!!

What pranks should I pull on my friend for revenge? My friend put chopsticks all over my yard and plastic wrapped my whole front yard because I drew on her car with window paint. I need something a lot better than what she did to me for revenge. I don't want just one prank, I want a lot. I was thinking of putting the chopsticks back in her yard but that won't be as intense because she already did it to me. Any ideas?

what are some really good pranks? so im scared of the dark and i had to get some thing out of the car for my dad at like 11:00 and my guy friend scared the crap out of me while i was out there he got up on my roof and yelled while my other guy friend jumped out and sacred me. plus many other things, that's just the biggest one. now i need to get them back and i have no idea how. i need some rilly good pranks that need no more than 3 people to pull off. i don't want any of those answers that say revenge is childish and that's not going to satisfy you and blah blah blah blah okay? i need rilly mean and devious pranks

What's a really good prank to play on your m8s? My car was gladwrapped and I need some really good revenge :P

Good Pranks? I just got tricked by the pranster at my company. He used Photoshop to edit my family photo and set the language of my phone to Turkish. I want revenge. To help you to think of pranks, let me tell you more about this @rseh0le. He has a second hand black sports car, he is very very very very very stingy, and he loves his sports car.

What's a good revenge practical joke? Some buddies of mine at work totally convinced me my car was stolen. At first they told me another co-worker took it and I was like "that's cool...good joke...just bring back and make sure it's gassed up" But then she swore to me on her life that she didn't take it and that she was just kidding around. Well it was a different co-worker who actually did this all and now I'm needing revenge 10 times worse. He's started a prank war and I can think of some good things but it involves screwing up either his job or marriage and I'm not wanting to go that far. I'm not wanting any of these little jokes you'd play on april fool's. I'm looking for something devious. Any helpers???

What are some good pranks? ok so my frends thought it wud b funny if they egged my house so they did!!!!! and they also covered potatoes wit peanut butter and put them on my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i was wondering if there are any of u ppl out ther that can help!!!!! bcuz revenge is sweet rite???!!!!! thanks

My Friends Car KEYS?????????????? My friend TP'D my house, and he dropped his car keys in the yard, i found, them tested them, they fit and start his car, what would be a good prank to pull for revenge on him? something that has to do with breaking into his car.

What is a good way to get revenge in general for someone being a bag O douche.? My ex-friend has been being a douche bag for so long and he has tried to go behind my brotherd and my best friends backs with their girlfriends he almost attemped to rape a girl I have been friends with for 6 years, he keyed a friend of mines car, he lied about so many things that he has done to people and he blamed some of his "pranks" on me, he lied to my parents, he threatened to fight me for no reason, he threw pennies at my car and they scratched that paint, he threw a pumpkin through my best friends dad's rear windshield, his parents found boozr in his room and he said he was holding it for me and his parents called mine and they took my car away for a month which caused me to get fired from my weekend job, and he created a fake schoolnotes account in his name and then blamed it on me and i almost got expelled,the list goes on and on and I have a few revenge ideas but i could use a few more to chose from.

revenge prank please help us!? so me and my best friend got the crap scared out of us last night and we wanna get back at our friend that did it. we want to fill his car with packing peanuts. or something to make him really mad. does anyone know where we can get cheap packing peanuts or a really good prank?

what should we do to their cars? ok so me and my friends have been pranking eachothers cars lately. putting mustard, shaving cream, toilet paper, and some other stuff on eachothers car when they least expect it. they recently got us really bad and now we need revenge what are some good pranks to do on their cars?

Car related prank question? So, a friend and I often randomly start a long streak of pulling pranks on one another. Harmless pranks. Earlier this week I went to dry my hair after a shower and was blasted with glitter that was loaded in my hair dryer. You think glitter is annoying while crafting, try getting it off wet. Even washing my hair again didn't get it all out. So! What I want to do is get revenge lol I want glitter in his vehicle. All over. But it'll be locked and I will not be able to get the keys. I was thinking of mimicking the whole blast of glitter by loading his air conditioning/heating/fan system so when he turns it on he'll get a big POOF! of glitter like I did. But if that can't be done I'd settle for some how just getting it in his vehicle so when he goes to use it theres just glitter on the chairs and every where. How should I go about this? Is this at all possible? If not, what is another good vehicle related prank? If you do not agree with harmless pranks, please save it. Don't answer or comment on this. Thanks. Yes I think I can get the hood open

What is the best adhesive to glue a plastic dildo to a car hood? This is a prank that is well deserved revenge, so if anyone has done this, or anything. I am expecting a good laugh. Ok one we used gorilla glue today and failed. Second, this individual has no paint on his hood.

How do i prank a prankster? Revenge ideas? i work with this guy and we tend to joke around with each other a lot. One day he tagged my car and wrote, "For Sale" and "payback sucks" and wrote my number all over it. Now i want to get him back, but i don't know what to do. any ideas? nothing tooo hard to do, but that will get him good... and keep in mind that people were calling me about my car, and the paint was really hard to get off!

Is this a good way of getting revenge? Ok well a week ago me and my buddy were hanging out and I get a call from 2 of my friends (girls) and I picked them up and we all went to get food. They are literally just friends, we've been friends for years. Well later that night one of the girls suggested we should egg a house, so we egged a enemy neighbor house and then she said to get her boyfriend's house, who is one of my best friends too. They said to get his car too BUT I said no, that's not right, it can damage the paint, I said only get his door and side of the house. It was a friendly prank, not out of hate. Well a week later my house ends up being egged and he even got my Jeep. He egged my vehicle, forrbidden territory and denies doing it but it was in fact him because he admitted it to one of my friends. I haven'y denied egging his house because he never ask me and if he does I'll gladly admit to doing it. I gotta get him back though because he attacked my vehicle and my plans of doing so is making a mayo-bomb. This is just a plastic bag full of mayonase and other foods like mustard, cottage cheese, relish, and spoiled eggs. I am planning to throw it at him directly. Think this is funny? Is this a good idea or do you have a more funnier prank. Also if you're just gonna say "you started it", then don't bother answering because I'm gonna do something anyways. Don't say "be the bigger man" because I much rather be the one who laughed last than the "bigger man."

How can i get revenge on my friend? Today my friend got her dad to call me pretending to be a police officer saying that my car had been stolen, i fell right into the trap! It was a brilliant prank, but now i am seeking revenge. I would prefer to do something to her car, but i can't get hold of the keys so it needs to be something i can do from the outside. Preferably something better than cling filming it etc, but something that won't damage it. I really need to get her back worse than she got me! Thanks for you help guys!

i need some amazing ideas fast!! creative? we have a little war goin on... we need some serious yard and car pranks! some good ones. we need a lot of ideas! this is revenge!

What is a good way to prank an ex girlfriend? I was thinking about screwing with her car, but it really doesn't matter. I just want it to be creative (not toiletpapering or saran wrap), funny, won't get sent to jail, and fairly harmless. I don't want to totally destroy her stuff, I don't hate her, but I want to get a little revenge.

I need help on a little revenge prank!? So, We are at a county fair, and while Im inside with my animals-One of my good guy friends and a bunch of them go out to my car, and use car markers and draw naughty things all over my car... ALL OVER MY WINDOWS and everything! Front and back windows, so i couldnt drive. I need something good to do in revenge. Becauuse as they say, Revenge is a b!t$h. Let me remind you, we are at a county fair-Sleeping in tents. I don't want to do anything that would accually break his stuff or ruin anything. Just something mean :) and funnnny! THANK YOU! Oh, and he doesn't have a car, so i couldnt do nothing back to his car.... THANK YOU!

Good Prank Suggestions? Recently, my friend Ashley and I got pranked by our friends Eric and Jesse. The boys made up a person, Josh, and even made fake myspaces, emails, and screen names. Ashley and I became friends with this Josh. Then the boys told us that Josh had died in a car accident. After, they told us it was a big prank. Naturally, Ashley and I were furious. Now we want revenge. Any suggestions? I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but we want to get back at them.

how to pull a good prank!? Kay so my bff and i got egged... and we know who did it... we need a good idea (it has to be legal! ) to get them back! we tried saran wrapping their car but it ended up just not working... and something perferably that is easy for a few girls to pull off! i need revenge... ;) thanks - ry

best sites to sign up my prank "mark" to? Prank ideas? someone has p*ssed me off, i want to sign their address up to receive mailings from dodgy companies. please advise some good ones that would be funny for me and not very funny for them. Please dont have a go at me, it's not half as nasty as i could be, i think this is a mild way to get revenge, and better that puring paint stripper on their car (which was my original plan) Also, if you can think of any other revenge pranks ideas, either mild or very nasty, please let me know. all input appreciated, 10 points for the best/funniest/most inventive. Thanks loads xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I should say I am in england so we dont have change of address cards etc.

Which is a good prank? my asshole Frend pulled a prank on me. It was something out of jackass when they throw white stuff when your sleeping. So I need your help which one would be an awsome revenge come back? 1)put baking soda in a ketchup bottle and shake 2)paint the toilet seat with white paint 3)put a rubber band around the fauset hose and wait till he turns it on 4)borrow my uncles garden snake lock the room and wait till he wakes up 5)slash his tires 6)this one is stupid but relplace the toothpaste with meat paste 7)hire a cop to arrest him 8)put thumb tacks in his shoe 9)put a chain around the rear bumber of his car and wait till he leaves And finally the last one is really nasty!!! 10)give him a "rusty hook" The rusty hook is just gross thinking bout it

does ice cream ruin car paint? i'm wanting to play a prank on someone for revenge, but i don't want to actually damage their car. would ice cream hurt their paint at all? i've heard a good thing to do is make their car into a sundae...

Revenge on ex-boss ideas? Okay. I used to work retail and I had this God-awful boss! She would treat me like **** (as well as the other employees). She would antagonize me and try to get me to mess-up and go off on her. I did once and it felt great. If I made any mistakes she would call the regional manager, who hated her, and ***** about me and exaggerate and even add her own lies. She would tell me that I was going to get fired because I wasn't selling enough and then steal my major sales (the ones I worked hardest for). She is also completely corrupt! She "dates guys who are married, engaged, or in a serious relationship. BTW: She is still married! She even tried to get my fiance! And no. He would never touch that! I'm pretty sure she has stolen a good bit from the company in merchandise and cash.I could go rant on and on about her, but I won't My question is... what could I do to get my revenge for those years of my life that she made hell? and would it be completely distasteful? I'm not talking about keying her car ar prank calls here. I'm talking about about something subtle but something that will make an impact and that she will NEVER forget! BTW: Anyone who wants to rant or ***** about their boss, feel free! I understand and love the stories! Vent away! I won't tell. I don't want websites or articles. I want answers. This is yahoo ANSWERS, correct? Also, I would like to make a note that she no longer works for that company.

I fell for a prank and want revenge? I was dressing up with some friends in some retro clothes one friend had in her loft. There were some lovely old glamour dresses along with the foundation bras, girdles and petticoats worn on the 40's and 50's. In between changes whilst wearing my panties, a big bra and some big flouncy petticoats. I was grabbed and thrown out the front door my my friends. After a laugh, they let me in the garage and said I could have my clothes back if they could take me for a drive dressed as I was. I suppose this was still pretty funny but then they taped my hands together and drove me into the country. They also fished for my panties and snipped the elastic waist. They got me out the car, took pictures then left me to get home. After a bit of shouting and swearing, I walked home but lost the panties after a couple of hundred yards as without the elastic they crept down my legs. They met me on the town boundary so at least I didn't have to walk in public but the walk in the country was pretty humiliating and I had to hide everytime I heard somewone coming. I'd like to get them back but can't think of a good way. I'd like to humiliate them like they did me. If it involves them in petticoats and no underwear, so much the better. Any suggestions?

What are some good...? pranks. the xc boys wrapped our cars and we want revenge!

whats the best way to egg an car? I know this is childish and illegal but its better than shooting the cheating a** son of a b**ch. How can i get the best damage out of egging the precious acura that he was f******* his dirty butt tricks in? I heard if you egg with toliet paper it will stick? Also will the impact of the eggs make the car alarm go off? If so what is a way that i can damage his car without it going off? Please dont tell me im stupid or its worng or whatever...i know what risk i am taking by vandalising ones property....dont ask that i grow up or anything...im 23 years old and i am not doing this as a prank...this is revenge I want him to have to put in a lot of work...i want him to either be driving aroung in a busted car or for him to empty that lil bank account of his to get it fixed....thats why i want the best way that produces the best results also what about keying the car...u think that will make the alarm go off?

My annoying, mean sister? My sister used to be awesome, but lately she's turned into a butt. It's been about 6 months since my parents got a divorce, and ever since she's been just a pain to be around. It's not like it's been an ugly divorce. It was at first, but my Mom and Dad are friends now. She's always kicking at my dog, saying he needs to be put to sleep, yet her two little snots can bark, chew, and dig all they want and their just fine. She's always hinting that I'm fat, and EVERYTIME I eat, whether it's a donut or a banana, she's make a remark about eating so much. She says I'm lazy, stupid, and I'll never make it in college because homeschoolers are stupid. I'm fed up with her crap and needed ideas for a good prank to pull on her. Not something too mean, and I don't want anyone to get hurt. She has a car, a job, a boyfriend, and she goes to college if that helps, but I don't want to mess those up too seriously. Also, she's 20 if that helps. And yes, she still lives at home. and don't leave comments saying I'm mean, I need to just suck it up, like seriously, if you had to listen to her mouth, complaining and griping all day, you'd want some revenge too. Haha, just did the salt prank, she'll get it in the morning :D I need more pranks though. And yes, I live with my Mom, and my Dad lives next door. My Mom favors her more even though she's always griping at my Mom for never buying groceries, eating her tv dinners, letting her dogs dig and get muddy, not doing her laundry, and she's also like $1500 in debt from what she spend on my Mom's credit card. She's always threatenting to move out, but when we pack her bags for her she says she was kidding. The laxatives are a great idea XD But she has bad irritable bowel syndrome, and I'm afraid to give her anything that will cause her explosive diarrhea, etc.

Ever heard of the 11 types of hoes? Which one are you >? 11 types of HO’s! Ladies..Is this true? 11. “The Undercover Ho” - This type of ho often goes unnoticed in the community, and can only be detected by a trained eye. She holds down a decent job during the day, but is secretly hoeing around with at least 5 different trifling men. Two of these men are married, and at least one of these men is dating her best friend. 10. “The Church Ho” - Her hair and nails is always done. This ho is in church every Sunday and carries a Bible with her at all times, but spends Tuesday through Saturday night of every week in a different club. She is sometimes mistaken for the Undercover Ho. 9. “High Class Ho” - (also known as the “Glamour Ho”) - This type of ho rocks Prada and Versace, and only dates players, ballers, and hot callers. She is most often the cause of some fight in a club (i.e. Source Awards). She tries to act like she’s got class but confuses regular English with Ebonics. She also has trouble with simple arithmetic. 8. “Old Ho” - The OLE Ho used to be tight “in her day,” and thinks she still looks good for her age.” She tries to wear all of the Soul Train fashions, thinking that she will blend in with the rest of the hunnies. You can find her at any club on any given night, grinding on the dance floor during any song, with any man, of any age. 7. “Nasty Ho” - This ho has not exactly been blessed in the looks department, but is usually very popular with the men for her other talents. Most often, she has a “tight” body and be found working in a strip club. 6. “Sneaky Ho” - The sneaky ho cannot be trusted in anyone’s home or with anyone’s man. Money and other personal items “turn up missing” not long after she’s gone. She is always “dipped” and can never remember where she’s purchased the coveted item of clothing. The Sneaky Ho aspires to be Undercover Ho but has already made too many enemies by stealing. 5. “Bourgeois Ho” - This type of ho is educated and professional woman with many credits to her name, she dresses well and has a sophisticated circle of friends. To the outside, these women areperfect, however these Ho’s have multiple partners and sleep with married men like “Undercover Ho,” perpetrate on Sunday like “Church Ho,” get played by men just like “Stupid Ho,” obsessed with name brands and status like “High Class Ho,” and best of all…Bourgeois Ho looks down on all the other Ho’s. 4. “Project Ho” - This Ho is living ghetto fabulous, squeezing money and trinkets out of her drug dealing “babies daddies.” She likes to fight, and you will most often hear her before you see her. 3. “Stupid Ho” - She is usually very cute. The Stupid Ho keeps a string of men who constantly come over after midnight for booty calls. They often return to eat her food, watch her cable, and borrow her car and/or money. She complain s about them to her friends (i.e., Sneaky Ho and Project Ho) but never does anything about it. 2. “Crazy Ho” - This is a popular ho. Although she is very smart, the Crazy Ho is virtually an upgrade from the Stupid Ho. She has the same terrible luck with men, but unlike the Stupid Ho, she seeks revenge. Her areas of expertise include slashing tires, keying cars, making prank calls from unlisted numbers, visiting the trifling man (or other Ho’s) jobs, and appearing on Judge Mathis for any of the aforementioned activities. And Finally!! 1. “The Stank Ho” - This is perhaps the most popular Ho of them all. the Stank Ho has appeared on shows such as Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. She has eluded herself into believing that she is beautiful, ad she sleeps with everyone to justify it. Her choice of wardrobe most often includes spandex (of every color), bra tops, and stripper shoes. She has a permanent “unwashed” look about her that cannot be removed with any amount of water or soap. Well i would fit into " Undercover ho,- becouse my family thinks im good, and going to school getting my education , cuz they got me on lock down and think im not doing anything -cuz their so strict, when im really being undercover cuz all the men i be with have gurlfriends so im the side piece /jumpoff and burgeiouse ho. becouse im sleeping with multiple men,and having multiple men relationships. Maybe also im a stupid ho, cuz i do call up guys to come pick me up at school and have sex, and some use me for sex, and one of them used me for mmoney

Water gun/ prank war...ideas? Here's the story: So, my friend and I are in this little water gun war/ prank-ish war with these two friends of ours, and we all work together. It all started when my friend and I, my partner in this, surprised them a few nights ago when they were closing with water guns, and got them so good. The next day, my friend and I went to where we work, and the two of them showed up a few minutes after! So they got revenge and poured two huge cups of water on us while we were there, then went in to my car and stole our water guns! So my partner and I went to target, stocked up on huuuge, intimidating water guns, water balloons, and little mini water hand guns....that backfired so bad. We went to one of the guys' house where they were and started the little war....the guys quickly dominated, because they brought out the hose! So, they're definitely winning right now. They close again on saturday night, so my partner and I are planning something bigg for revenge! We were thinking either getting them with the water guns again, just even more sneaky, or like writing on one of the guys' car funny little messages with car paint! But we both feel like there are way better things we can do instead. Any funny ideas are so appreciated, including any good things we could write on his car! Please give us some good ideas, we've got to get them back GOOD! Keep in mind...I really like one of the guys, the one who's car we'd be writing on, so anything flirty-ish would be cool with me! Please let me know any great ideas you all have, thanks so much!

I need to prank the pranksters.? Last night my teenage kids pulled a great prank on me by painting the passanger side of my car with words, and such. Fortunally this was with the new washable paint for cars, that you can decorate you car with then wash off when you get tired of it. I drove from home to work with this stuff on the side of my car, and did not find out about it till someone came into work and said something about it. I called the police and everything thinking a girl my daughter has been fighting with did it. (they couldn't do anything since we had no proof and said it may cause more problems in the long run), good thing, since my own had done it. Not till the kids got out of school did I find out. Now I need to get them back. My son is 17 and has his own car. My daugher is 15. My son's best friend, that lives with us, is 18. Anyone have any great idea for revenge?

So there's this boy... and I really want to pull a prank on him. Bet you didn't see that one coming.? I really want to pull a prank of this boy who's kind of my ex-boyfriend. I don't harbor any ill feelings toward him and it's not like I want revenge or anything. It's just that he's always on the exploiting side of pranks and I think it's time someone gave him a dose of his own medicine. Who better to do it than me? :] The only thing is I'm not really sure what to do to him. I was thinking of going to his house and doing something to his car (He has a thing about his car, you see). Nothing particularly damaging or mean; just something relatively harmless that will slow him down and maybe freak him out a little bit. Any ideas? PS: I thought of syran wrapping his car but I heard this could damage the paint. Does anyone know if this is true?

here are my short story ideas? which one is better? which one should i go with? Should be like quite short (for school) A) So there's this exhange student coming from this foreign country nobody has ever heard of. he's being made fun of because of the way he speaks, dress and because he's not use to the culture. a bunch of kids are planning to pull a prank on him and embarass him after school. They put him in hostage and accidentally kills him instead. At the end, it leaves it hanging that the exchange student was actually a prince in his country. (is the ending ok to leave it hanging like that?) Theme is everyone deserves respect and should be treated equally. B) A single middle aged man looks out his window and sees that his car is gone. He blames his cousin because his cousin is usually a prankster, and they also hate each other. The cousin denies it, but the man doesn't believe it. The man appears to be sincere and good person and somehow, the story turns out to be a big deal, all over the news, and his cousin plans on taking revenge on him for making the world think he's the bad guy. So the cousin kills the man and the end states that the man actually stole his own car just to attract attention.Therefore people aren't always who they seem to be. C) Teenaged girl sees that her mom is arguing about her future again. Her parents want her to have a totally different career than what she wants to do. She and her parents argue and gets into a fight. She gets really mad, overreacts and doesn't speak to her mom. At the end, her mom left the house and got into a car accident, never returning home. The girl realizes that her mom only wanted the best for her and that she took her for granted.

Car Pranks for a Douche Bag? I need a car prank that isn't too brutal, but not too soft. This guy is a f*cking douche. I tried to be civil and all and he is having his car redone[paint and side pannels and all], so his car is looking kinda "ghetto" so I told him, everyone thinks its funny, and he said he hopes he finishes soon, and I told him I'd give him two weeks, and he just goes off on everything he has to do, and goes... More like one, maybe two. so i said... yea, so i'll give you two weeks[im a big joker kinda person]. and so he just pretty much says that he doesnt care what i think in that whole "fuck you" kinda tone. and he calls me a retard. not like when your friends say it in a joking way, like you know they arent being serious. but he was being a completely serious asshole. so i want a car prank to get some revenge. especially after hearing that when i left him a pic comment.. jokingly saying that he could use the new green bumper as a mini green screen. he just goes "wow. you're really stupid.". so can i get an idea that will help get this douche bag back? one that isnt very damaging, and easy and cheap.[i dont want to waste a crapload of money on this jerk]. and it'll probably be done in the school parking lot. so anything advice? or ideas?

Pranks! on a house/car!? help!? well......so this is more of revenge than a prank but im only 14 so i cant realy do revenge but i can make them annoyed...this asshole married my sister and 3 weeks later we found out he was gay...so bottom line is i want revenge..but im too young for effective revenge so im gonna do pranks to their house/car.....what can i do to annoy the hell out of them,agrevate them waste alot of their time cleaning my prank up...etc....i want to make their lives a living hell...so what are some pranks i can do that are not dangerous but that will annoy them like nuts!

Awesome revenge pranks!? So there is a guy at my youth group who is always pranking me. Last week he bought some lipstick and smashed it in my hair and all over my face [it wouldn't come off for 2 days!] . During the summer, he will get cups of water and throw it on me, so I get a bucket and throw water on him, and then he gets a trash can and saturates me! As you see, these are just harmless pranks, but I can't think of anything to do to get him back for the last prank he pulled! I was thinking about filling a koolaid mix can with water [to make koolaid] and then pour it on him, but I know he will get me back [he ALWAYS does] So any ideas of really awesome pranks that wont cost me too much money? And nothing that will hurt him or do permenant [sp?] damage to his car?? THANKSS! I can't wait to get him backk! haha

What is an effective way to puncture a car tyre? This is important!!! Pls help!! It's a long story and has got nothing to do with revenge or a prank..

Pranks to do to friends' cars? Me and a few friends have been in a car-pranking war for a little while now and i want to know the funniest way to get revenge on them without harming any of their cars...

Have you ever gotten revenge on a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend? What did you do to get revenge (pranks)? I need some more ideas (not relating to sex) I've got that part coverd (I'm sleeping with his "best"friend and his sister) and I put a trout in his box spings of his bead and a trout behind the glove box in his car! And I told him I was pregnant and he gave me $350 for an abortion!

what would be the perfect revenge to pull on a girl who seduce and sleeps with your boyfriend? say if you know her and have an opportunity to give her some hell. what would the payback prank be? Her hair,Clothes,Gossip,Car, Fart, Itch powders, Exlax her drink.

Can anyone tell me what is "pennying a car"? (a type of prank)? I heard a reference to this as a form of revenge or a prank. Can anyone tell me what exactly this is or how it's done?

What are your best revenge/prank stories? I have 2: 1st - My ex broke up with me, lied about having sex with me to the entire school and trashed my reputation. My best friend, her boyfriend and I slashed his tires a few hours before school. Than drove by, pointed and laughed as he was under his car, changing the tires. 2nd - As a prank, I posted my friends phone # on craigslist and posted an ad saying "Can't keep my farm. Must find new home for adult male Llama. Free.. you must pickup. Call anytime, day or night" She got about 100 calls that night (we live in the country) You say my 1st one was mean, but you made your ex cry by making him think his dog ran away? At least my ex just got a little dirty and was late to work, you made yours cry!

NEED REVENGE PRANK!!!? My house was wrapped by some of the kids in our youth group. what is the best way to prank them back? Maybe mess with their cars?

Is asking to "prank" someone, or take revenge on someone....? ... a "question" that Y!A might consider an "illegal" question? I mean... Some people... they ask for pranks or ways of getting revenge on others (see 2 questions below for examples)... and people who post some answers post some pretty ILLEGAL things (i.e. sugar in gas tank, placing a "bomb" kind of device under a car... these are ACTUAL answers from these 2 questions!!). Shouldn't this be considered by Y!A to be "illegal"? ... Afterall, they are SERIOUSLY asking the Y!A community to "aid and abet" something that can result in be arrested! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aoh8Y_HORTMyhLkY8kckCEze7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20080418183049AAT6JSE http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ald3DwPqMcVVQWE5k.U7n4ze7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20080418191708AAES6wa Blockparty... <blush> thanks... yep...that's ME. I don't hide. I'm still "on the fence" about whether the questions should be reports and that's why I'm asking for some clarification. zynr... I did report them... both. But to be deleted, at least TWO people have to report them. My "single" reports were insufficient. Thanks to those who also reported, along WITH MY reports, they were finally both deleted. Please watch your accusations and assumptions in the future.

Revenge ideas? Someone i have recently come to hate tremendously, pissed all over my car. I being the nice guy i am didn't really do much to deserve that. But going against my nature i seek immediate revenge. I want your ideas for appropriate and worthy revenge, no simple pranks, this is war now.

How do I let the air out of someone's tires without sitting there holding down the nozzle-dealie? A friend was very rude to me recently and I'd like a little harmless revenge. Anyone know if the only way to let the air out of someone's tire is to sit there and hold down the little nozzle-dealie? I've heard of wedging a bebe in there, but I've also heard that doesn't work... Or if anyone has expericnce with this, how long would I have to sit there holding it to get all (or most of) the air out? I can't be seen doing it, so I need to be quick. Any other harmless pranks on cars would also be appreciated, thanks!!

How do I get revenge on a sadistic prankster? One day my best guy friend put on face paint like the Joker, snuck into my house while I was sleeping, and woke me up. I screamed bloody murder, had a nightmare later that night, and insomnia for weeks later. He then proceeded to talk and act like the Joker for the rest of the day (it was at a retreat, so I had nowhere to go) and played numerous pranks on me like sneaking into my car and placing a paper that said "Up" on it, changing his voice mail so that when I called he would not answer and I'd hear his Joker impression, and leaving me prank phone calls (though he still denies the phone calls, I know it had to be him). Unfortunately, he still thinks this is hilariously funny and is going to dress up as the Joker AGAIN for Halloween. I know it's just going to creep the heck out of me, so I'd like to find a way to get revenge. Any ideas? Well, he is also very much into Pirates of the Caribbean and likes to dress up like Jack Sparrow as well... He isn't easily annoyed and doesn't often get angry or feel insulted. Here I'll just post part of his little facebook bio: "I wear flip flops and shorts year round, including snow, yes, and I'm definitely a summer guy. I have an unnaturally natural tan that many people are jealous of (and this is fact, not egotistical pretense). I never get enough sleep, but still somehow manage to enjoy life. I'm passionate about baseball and just love playing the game. I'm crazy about pirates, specifically those from the Caribbean. I love to read, but never have time to..."

Internet Pranks? Have internet pranks gone to far? I have many friends who use them to get revenge on friends, What's Wrong With This Picture?, Where's Waldo type pranks, Reverse Jingle Bells. I think they have gone way too far. My little cousin was startled to death when her brother and his friends showed her "The Reflex Test" Then the german energy drink commercial with the car. I think they have gone too far with them. Especially the cult Subliminal Messages prank. Whats you opinion? Have they gone too far?

Will canned cheese damage a car's paint? I have a friend upon which I need to seek revenge! She's always pulling some random prank, so I'm going to saran-wrap her car. And probably her best friend's car too, since she was involved. But I don't think saran-wrap is enough, so perhaps something semi-disgusting. I'm trying not to get something that will cause paint damage, like shaving cream, whip cream, etc. Most of it will probably go on the saran wrap, but I'm thinking of putting some under the door handle that she won't see until after she grabs it. If it causes damage, I can always use some non-damaging suggestions. :-)

what do you think of this amazing prank i pulled on my friend? i got his older bro to give me spare keys to his car, and opened his sunroof and poured packing peanuts in and filled it! :) and then i wrote stuff on his windows with car paint. this was total revenge for a prank he played on me a little while ago, and mine totally tromps his!! heck yes!! how is that childish? im pretty sure childish would be putting saran wrap on his toilet seat. mine is classic :)

How Can i Get Revenge On The Dredded Ex? So i have been dating this guy 3 year and i have known him about 7 year,when we first started dating it was amazing,we was planning on having kids getting married moving in. Well a year into the relationship he stole a car with his brother n got him self in jail for a year, after he came out my mother gave him a place to stay and he stole all her money, i still stayed with him. we got engaged aswell and both had ring tattoos at xmas of this year,on valentines day he broke it up and i found out he chaeted on my twice,he then wanted to get back with me and because i said no , hje has been sending me nasty messages to mt phone,has been prank calling me,has posted me on an escort site and posted my number and house adress all over the internet,i cant get away from him , he wont let me forget,i cant move on because when i find someone he tells them lies and threatens them, i dont know what to do at all, but one thing i do know is that i want revenge Robin G, i didnt know what he was like, i talked to him on the internet for 7 year before i even saw a pic of him,it was only after i got with him in person i found out he was a loser, and we didnt get married we got engaged,big difference

I need to get revenge on her mom!!? ok.. so my friends mom has played pranks on me twice now. THe first time she put porn pictures alll over my car.. and now she put post it notes all over my car.. anyone have any ideas on how i could get her back?? something thats funny and not tooo mean.. thanks!

HELP!!!! I need great harmless pranks fast? help my jeep got shrink wrapped at work i need to get some revenge.i dont want anything that will do bodily harm,somthing very funny and it has to top a car being wrapped an clear sanwhich wrap.did i mention that it was 200 yards of shrink wrap.lol thanks put your minds to work please. i work on a ambulance i am a emt so i cant destroy the very exspensive vehicle

Which prank is funniest? I have a gay friend and theres this guy who is mean to him and we need to get revenge Fork their yard. Take a number of plastic forks, about 400-500. And stick them all over their yard. No only will they have a hard time removing all the forks, it will be very annoying. Take out an ad in our local newspaper advertising NAME family are having an "Estate sale! Antiques!" starting at 6 am on a Sunday. During the night before, put up signs in their yard and the street corners! call the army recruiting office and act like you are NAME. say you want to join but you don't have a car to get to their office and will they please come to your house and recruit you then film it what if we went to big W and bought heaps of ugly granny undies and put them all over his house

prank movie from 5 to 10 years ago? What's the name of the movie that came out 5-10 yrs ago that is about 2 friends who are in their 30's and are losers. The one gets fired, and starts his own business where he performs pranks for money. In one scene he's getting revenge on a car salesman and he hides a hooker in the trunk. In the end he finds out that his best friend is actually his brother.

What jobs can I get? I'm a junior in college, majoring in business. I don't have a car and my license is suspended. Last August I got a DUI for driving through a checkpoint with BAC .109. I was 21 so the legal limit was .08. Also, I was convicted of 2nd degree burglary 2 and a half years ago for breaking into my friend's house for a revenge prank. I was 19 at the time. I've been having a really hard time finding a job lately. Where can I find a job with a record like mine?

would you tell your parents this? if an x that wanted revenge b/c she/he heard you were spreading crapt about them pranked your car. they wrote some things on your windows in those washable window markers. would you go home and tell your parents about it when it was already washed off and they wouldn't of found out about it? and tell them how you were going to go and put bologna on their car? to get them back and complain about it nd not drop it!?

How would you react? How would you react if your child replace your designer handbag with a knock off(my mom), then had your car painted pink(my dad). These are the pranks I pulled on my parents, they were mad then laughed it off, but I am afraid that there revenge will be 5 times worst. I can take what I dish though, I am just scared for my Range Rover, and my handbags. My dad is the one that I am afraid, because I had his bmw painted and he loves that car. but it was worth it

Prank calls.? Well I've done it to this same guy for about a month, and he explodes everytime i do it. It's hilarious. The problem is that i'm running out of ideas to pester this guy. I've tried these story lines so far: Telemarketer Prostitute seeking money long lost sibling African Minister John Cena Deranged lunatic bent on revenge (personal favorite) Chinese food delivery boy Chick from "The Ring" A man interested in selling him a new car for 2 thousand dollars. and a couple of boring pranks. If you have any suggestions please do tell :P

How do u like my story? “Help me!”I cried. My arms outstretched towards the darkness. The image was growing stronger with every beat of her pounding heart. She heard the sound once more. It got closer and then there was a knock on the door. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK “Who could it be? I mean its Halloween night and did I mention its Halloween night!” I said to myself frightened yet relieved that the creepy figure went down open to the door. “Who is it,” It said. No answer. I hear the door open. BOOM a shot was fired. I ran to the kitchen to get a weapon for protection. “Don’t move”, I whispered loud enough for him to hear. “Hey Dork Happy Halloween,” the figure responded with a laugh. I turn on the light and it was just the jocks playing a joke on me. “GET OUT YOU JERKS!” They leave laughing the whole way out. I had been relieved but mad that those dim-witted jerks would play a mean joke like that on me. The name’s Timothy Greenwich but everyone calls me dork. Well I am captain of the chess team, smart, skinny, in my senior year of high school, not that popular and everyone hates me. I live in New York and attend the worst high school named Brantford High. I live alone and have no friends. I work as a part time waiter at Le Chef Boyardee. So you can say my life was not that perfect. One day just one day I will get my revenge on those jerks. Let me go back to sleep, I have school tomorrow. The next morning I woke up and got ready for school. As usual I wear my suspenders and my glasses. You ask why those jocks call me a dork but I really don’t know. My parents don’t care about me so I don’t know where they are. I’m on my way to school just hope those jerks don’t run me over this time. Until I crossed, a car was speeding and it hit me. Guess who hit me? Those stinking jerks! I woke up in a hospital bed. The doctor tells me that I suffered minor injuries from the accident. I will be in tip top shape in 2 days. I didn’t expect any visitors to come since no one did come. I was in pain the whole night and that night thought of way to get revenge of the jerks. Maybe I can I do it on graduation day. I stood the whole night planning the master plan to getting revenge. 8 YEARS LATER. It is time to put my plan into action. My plan will not only humiliate the jerks but will kill them. Sure I`ll end up in jail but I have to do it. So tomorrow night the plan will go into action. I just needed to buy the supplies, which were: a chainsaw, my nerd costume and me of course. That night came and I’ve been waiting for this day to come. Well I went to each of those jerks homes and sent them a nice informal letter that read: Dear Jerks, This is Timothy Greenwich informing you that I have recovered from the car accident and would for you to meet me at Old York Cemetery. Let me tell you a little history about this cemetery. A friendly ghost makes this cemetery her home. Mary Miller Jason, a white witch, would help sick people by prescribing herbs and exorcising neighbor's homes in her life. She died in 1774 and sightings of her have been occurring ever since. Children have also told stories of a good invisible woman that pushes them on the swings of the playground across the street. If you guys have the guts to meet me here then bring it on. I have a special gift for all of you. Meet me there at 9pm tonight. Can’t wait to see you here! Sincerely, Timothy Greenwich After I finished giving the letters to the jerks I went to the cemetery to set up. When I arrived at the cemetery I began to set up the lights and everything else. I waited for those jerks to come. It was 9:00 on the dot and they still hadn’t arrived. I don’t believe they are that wimpy. “Dork we’re here. We want our gift,” giggled the jerks. Its show time I said with anxiousness. So I called the jerks over and started the chainsaw. “You want your present?” I said furiously. That’s when they saw me with the chainsaw, their faces changed by the blink of an eye. “Who’s a dork now?” I responded with power. The jerks just stood there trying to persuade me to shut the chain saw off. I did but then I turn it back on with an evil laugh. All you could see was blood shooting all over the place. After all this was over I dug up each and every body part in dugout. I went back home and grabbed my yearbook to cross off all the jerks. They’re names: Joe Smith, Steve Gonzalez, Chris Benet and John Green. There were still more to kill. I’m sorry did I not tell you that there are lots of more people I need to kill. Well this is just the beginning and no one can stop because I am Dorkenstein. I will keep the legend going forever. The next people on my list are: mom, dad, and everyone else from the yearbook. So for the past few days my room has been filled with pictures of each of my victims. That’s when I turn on the television and they found the bodies. “Oh great I dug those wholes for nothing.” KNOCK KNOCK someone was at the door. I looked through the door whole. “It’s the police open up” they yelled. I opened it and there were a lot of officers outside. I used my chain saw to kill one of the officers but they shot me several times. Luckily I had worn a bullet proof vest. I gave them my evil laugh and went for them all until they warned to shoot me in the head. They got me! I left a letter to who ever really cared me. It read: Dear To Who It May Concern, I would like to say job well done police officers. You guys were too late! I killed the jerks and you don’t know where their bodies are hidden. Since I will be dead by the time you read this I will be lying in my coffin. I killed all of them to get revenge on them and it pays off. I know that I ruined my life by killing. What else was I supposed to do? Let them keep on bothering me and freaking me out with their selfish little pranks. Someone once said “Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conqueror. Kill everyone, and you are a god.” I found this poem on the internet and thought it would be nice for you to read this. Last night I had a shock Somehow I have to make you pay It's all about handling And what it takes to get my way I don't believe in soft solutions No one makes a fool of me Without receiving vengeance No one hurts me and goes free I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears You'll never be the same, my friend You're walking a line, it's a matter of time You'll never rest easy again I've got the power to bring you down I've heard it said, to err is human It's forgiveness that's marvelous I thought about forgiving you, but I want revenge, I want what's mine I think it's time to settle scores now It's time to set the record straight You'll know it's coming, you won't know how Or when, you'll have to watch and wait I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears You'll never be the same, my friend You're walking a line, it's a matter of time You'll never rest easy again I've got the power to bring you down You know, it feels intoxicating To be intimidating It's invigorating To see you shaking I've got the power to bring you down You know something, you see it coming, You know I will stop at nothing.” I just hope you enjoy because when I found it on the internet I read it to my victims after each of their deaths. Just one more thing to say: Whose the dork now. Just because I am dead does not mean I’m finish with killing. I will be killing forever!!!!!!! Yours Truly, Timothy Greenwich

what do u think about this? my friend jake played a prank and cling wrapped my other friend, johns car..so tonight john and i got revenge and and did stuff to jakes car ..the only problem is apparently jakes parents woke up and got pissed and called the cops..they couldnt do anything to us but now jakes parents are kicking him out, hes 18. do u think his parents over reacted? im not sure what goes on in jakes house but i do know that his parents are a little volatile just from personal experience...and i didnt use my friends real names

I need to pull a prank on my cousin and brother while they're sleeping.? The other day my little cousin (11 years old) was in the car and he was fake sleeping (yes, I am POSITIVE that he wasn't really sleeping). I took out some lip gloss and dabbed it on him. He started giggling while his brother (13) was encouraging us. Last night, at 1:30 in the morning they came in our room and drew all over us, our stomachs, legs, backs, faces. We're planning revenge and would like some ideas. We are going camping and are going to do it then so it can't make too much of a mess in the tent. Please refrain from telling me that I shouldn't stoop to their level because it's for FUN people, I'm not planning on cutting their hair or anything. Don't answer like that just for 5 points. So anyways, safe, clean and fun jokes are welcome! Thanks <3

Did anyone participate in the wonderful prank-filled festivities of April Fool's Day ;] ? I did! I went crazy with ceran wrap, the toilet seat, the salt and pepper shakers, and I rubberbanded the sink hose so when someone turned on the water it sprayed them [: But my stepdad got me back by putting vaseline on the door handle of my car, and my room lol. Darn.. But yeah any other ideas? Revenge is eminent [:

Did you April Fools? For those of you who love to prank people and already have or plan to do so today...let me know what you did. My bro got our mom real good. She's a die hard St. Louis Cardinals fan. She HATES the Cubs. She has a red car with Cardinals things on and in it here and there. My brother got her to let him use her car because his tires are bad and it was raining hard. We wrote in blue window chalk marker on the back window..."GO CUBS" (April Fools at the top). On both back door windows we drew the Cubs symbol (circle with the "C" in the middle for those who don't know). Mom's car has a sun roof with a visor that closes so you can't see out which she hates to close. So, we closed it and put sticker letters spelling out CUBS on the visor. We shaped blue pipe cleaners to spell CUBS and hung it on the rearview mirror. When my bro took her car back he turned the radio up on a station she doesn't like and turned on the wipers and the blinkers. Needless to say she's planning revenge.

Women what would you do in this situation? Men how would you react? Yesterday I watched a pro-gramme on Virgin Media called 'Bunny Boilers And Proud', it was all about men and women who had sought revenge for the actions of their partners and ex-partners. One woman in particular had a husband who worked for 'Kerrang Radio', he was very popular with his listeners because of his outrageous attitude on air. He would play pranks that annoyed her family such as ringing her sister live on air and saying 'I think of you when I'm in bed with my wife'. Needless to say, his wife put up with this and saw it as part of the job and not to be taken seriously. One night his wife sat down to listen to the show and one of the guests was Jody Marsh (for USA readers, google her image, shes a D List celeb and very tacky). She knew her husband had a bit of a thing for Jody Marsh and so she was a little peeved that he hadn't told her she would be a guest on his show. She listened to them flirting and didn't really mind, until it reached the point where he said 'If I was single I would definitely go for you, no wait....if you gave me the chance I would leave my wife and kids for you'. Now at this point his wife could not look past it being part of his job and was deeply hurt. She threw his clothes on the lawn and then sat to think about what would hurt him the most. She then sat on her laptop, visited eBay and put his Lotus up for sale, the buy it now price was £0.50p (USA users roughly that is 30-40 cents), and someone bought it and collected it within the hour. Her husband returned home, and for 6 weeks was not allowed to enter the house. When they re-conciliated he sought legal advice and was told that no contract existed regarding the car as it was not hers to sell. However, he knew it would cost him a lot in legal fees to get it back, so he had to pay £5000 for a car that was his already! Now I want opinions from women and men on this!! Do you think she was justified in her actions? How would you react if your wife did this (remember what he did to enrage her first!)? and what would you do if you heard your husband or wife acting as he did?!

I fell for a prank and want revenge? I was dressing up with some friends in some retro clothes one friend had in her loft. There were some lovely old glamour dresses along with the foundation bras, girdles and petticoats worn on the 40's and 50's. In between changes whilst wearing my panties, a big bra and some big flouncy petticoats. I was grabbed and thrown out the front door my my friends. After a laugh, they let me in the garage and said I could have my clothes back if they could take me for a drive dressed as I was. I suppose this was still pretty funny but then they taped my hands together and drove me into the country. They also fished for my panties and snipped the elastic waist. They got me out the car, took pictures then left me to get home. After a bit of shouting and swearing, I walked home but lost the panties after a couple of hundred yards as without the elastic they crept down my legs. They met me on the town boundary so at least I didn't have to walk in public but the walk in the country was pretty humiliating and I had to hide everytime I heard somewone coming. I'd like to get them back but can't think of a good way. I'd like to humiliate them like they did me. If it involves them in petticoats and no underwear, so much the better. Any suggestions?

Poll: Did you like The Oddysey or The Iliad better? I liked the Iliad better. This was my favorite part: Sing, O goddess, the anger of Achilles son of Peleus, that brought countless ills upon the Achaeans. Many a brave soul did it send hurrying down to Hades, and many a hero did it yield a prey to dogs and vultures, for so were the counsels of Jove fulfilled from the day on which the son of Atreus, king of men, and great Achilles, first fell out with one another. And which of the gods was it that set them on to quarrel? It was the son of Jove and Leto; for he was angry with the king and sent a pestilence upon the host to plague the people, because the son of Atreus had dishonoured Chryses his priest. Now Chryses had come to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and had brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo wreathed with a suppliant's wreath and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus, who were their chiefs. "Sons of Atreus," he cried, "and all other Achaeans, may the gods who dwell in Olympus grant you to sack the city of Priam, and to reach your homes in safety; but free my daughter, and accept a ransom for her, in reverence to Apollo, son of Jove." On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. "Old man," said he, "let me not find you tarrying about our ships, nor yet coming hereafter. Your sceptre of the god and your wreath shall profit you nothing. I will not free her. She shall grow old in my house at Argos far from her own home, busying herself with her loom and visiting my couch; so go, and do not provoke me or it shall be the worse for you." The old man feared him and obeyed. Not a word he spoke, but went by the shore of the sounding sea and prayed apart to King Apollo whom lovely Leto had borne. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla and rulest Tenedos with thy might, hear me oh thou of Sminthe. If I have ever decked your temple with garlands, or burned your thigh-bones in fat of bulls or goats, grant my prayer, and let your arrows avenge these my tears upon the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. He came down furious from the summits of Olympus, with his bow and his quiver upon his shoulder, and the arrows rattled on his back with the rage that trembled within him. He sat himself down away from the ships with a face as dark as night, and his silver bow rang death as he shot his arrow in the midst of them. First he smote their mules and their hounds, but presently he aimed his shafts at the people themselves, and all day long the pyres of the dead were burning. For nine whole days he shot his arrows among the people, but upon the tenth day Achilles called them in assembly- moved thereto by Juno, who saw the Achaeans in their death-throes and had compassion upon them. Then, when they were got together, he rose and spoke among them. "Son of Atreus," said he, "I deem that we should now turn roving home if we would escape destruction, for we are being cut down by war and pestilence at once. Let us ask some priest or prophet, or some reader of dreams (for dreams, too, are of Jove) who can tell us why Phoebus Apollo is so angry, and say whether it is for some vow that we have broken, or hecatomb that we have not offered, and whether he will accept the savour of lambs and goats without blemish, so as to take away the plague from us." With these words he sat down, and Calchas son of Thestor, wisest of augurs, who knew things past present and to come, rose to speak. He it was who had guided the Achaeans with their fleet to Ilius, through the prophesyings with which Phoebus Apollo had inspired him. With all sincerity and goodwill he addressed them thus:- "Achilles, loved of heaven, you bid me tell you about the anger of King Apollo, I will therefore do so; but consider first and swear that you will stand by me heartily in word and deed, for I know that I shall offend one who rules the Argives with might, to whom all the Achaeans are in subjection. A plain man cannot stand against the anger of a king, who if he swallow his displeasure now, will yet nurse revenge till he has wreaked it. Consider, therefore, whether or no you will protect me." And Achilles answered, "Fear not, but speak as it is borne in upon you from heaven, for by Apollo, Calchas, to whom you pray, and whose oracles you reveal to us, not a Danaan at our ships shall lay his hand upon you, while I yet live to look upon the face of the earth- no, not though you name Agamemnon himself, who is by far the foremost of the Achaeans." Thereon the seer spoke boldly. "The god," he said, "is angry neither about vow nor hecatomb, but for his priest's sake, whom Agamemnon has dishonoured, in that he would not free his daughter nor take a ransom for her; therefore has he sent these evils upon us, and will yet send others. He will not deliver the Danaans from this pestilence till Agamemnon has restored the girl without fee or ransom to her father, and has sent a holy hecatomb to Chryse. Thus we may perhaps appease him." With these words he sat down, and Agamemnon rose in anger. His heart was black with rage, and his eyes flashed fire as he scowled on Calchas and said, "Seer of evil, you never yet prophesied smooth things concerning me, but have ever loved to foretell that which was evil. You have brought me neither comfort nor performance; and now you come seeing among Danaans, and saying that Apollo has plagued us because I would not take a ransom for this girl, the daughter of Chryses. I have set my heart on keeping her in my own house, for I love her better even than my own wife Clytemnestra, whose peer she is alike in form and feature, in understanding and accomplishments. Still I will give her up if I must, for I would have the people live, not die; but you must find me a prize instead, or I alone among the Argives shall be without one. This is not well; for you behold, all of you, that my prize is to go elsewhither." And Achilles answered, "Most noble son of Atreus, covetous beyond all mankind, how shall the Achaeans find you another prize? We have no common store from which to take one. Those we took from the cities have been awarded; we cannot disallow the awards that have been made already. Give this girl, therefore, to the god, and if ever Jove grants us to sack the city of Troy we will requite you three and fourfold." Then Agamemnon said, "Achilles, valiant though you be, you shall not thus outwit me. You shall not overreach and you shall not persuade me. Are you to keep your own prize, while I sit tamely under my loss and give up the girl at your bidding? Let the Achaeans find me a prize in fair exchange to my liking, or I will come and take your own, or that of Ajax or of Ulysses; and he to whomsoever I may come shall rue my coming. But of this we will take thought hereafter; for the present, let us draw a ship into the sea, and find a crew for her expressly; let us put a hecatomb on board, and let us send Chryseis also; further, let some chief man among us be in command, either Ajax, or Idomeneus, or yourself, son of Peleus, mighty warrior that you are, that we may offer sacrifice and appease the the anger of the god." Achilles scowled at him and answered, "You are steeped in insolence and lust of gain. With what heart can any of the Achaeans do your bidding, either on foray or in open fighting? I came not warring here for any ill the Trojans had done me. I have no quarrel with them. They have not raided my cattle nor my horses, nor cut down my harvests on the rich plains of Phthia; for between me and them there is a great space, both mountain and sounding sea. We have followed you, Sir Insolence! for your pleasure, not ours- to gain satisfaction from the Trojans for your shameless self and for Menelaus. You forget this, and threaten to rob me of the prize for which I have toiled, and which the sons of the Achaeans have given me. Never when the Achaeans sack any rich city of the Trojans do I receive so good a prize as you do, though it is my hands that do the better part of the fighting. When the sharing comes, your share is far the largest, and I, forsooth, must go back to my ships, take what I can get and be thankful, when my labour of fighting is done. Now, therefore, I shall go back to Phthia; it will be much better for me to return home with my ships, for I will not stay here dishonoured to gather gold and substance for you." And Agamemnon answered, "Fly if you will, I shall make you no prayers to stay you. I have others here who will do me honour, and above all Jove, the lord of counsel. There is no king here so hateful to me as you are, for you are ever quarrelsome and ill affected. What though you be brave? Was it not heaven that made you so? Go home, then, with your ships and comrades to lord it over the Myrmidons. I care neither for you nor for your anger; and thus will I do: since Phoebus Apollo is taking Chryseis from me, I shall send her with my ship and my followers, but I shall come to your tent and take your own prize Briseis, that you may learn how much stronger I am than you are, and that another may fear to set himself up as equal or comparable with me." The son of Peleus was furious, and his heart within his shaggy breast was divided whether to draw his sword, push the others aside, and kill the son of Atreus, or to restrain himself and check his anger. While he was thus in two minds, and was drawing his mighty sword from its scabbard, Minerva came down from heaven (for Juno had sent her in the love she bore to them both), and seized the son of Peleus by his yellow hair, visible to him alone, for of the others no man could see her. Achilles turned in amaze, and by the fire that flashed from her eyes at once knew that she was Minerva. "Why are you here," said he, "daughter of aegis-bearing Jove? To see the pride of Agamemnon, son of Atreus? Let me tell you- and it shall surely be- he shall pay for this insolence with his life." And Minerva said, "I come from heaven, if you will hear me, to bid you stay your anger. Juno has sent me, who cares for both of you alike. Cease, then, this brawling, and do not draw your sword; rail at him if you will, and your railing will not be vain, for I tell you- and it shall surely be- that you shall hereafter receive gifts three times as splendid by reason of this present insult. Hold, therefore, and obey." "Goddess," answered Achilles, "however angry a man may be, he must do as you two command him. This will be best, for the gods ever hear the prayers of him who has obeyed them." He stayed his hand on the silver hilt of his sword, and thrust it back into the scabbard as Minerva bade him. Then she went back to Olympus among the other gods, and to the house of aegis-bearing Jove. But the son of Peleus again began railing at the son of Atreus, for he was still in a rage. "Wine-bibber," he cried, "with the face of a dog and the heart of a hind, you never dare to go out with the host in fight, nor yet with our chosen men in ambuscade. You shun this as you do death itself. You had rather go round and rob his prizes from any man who contradicts you. You devour your people, for you are king over a feeble folk; otherwise, son of Atreus, henceforward you would insult no man. Therefore I say, and swear it with a great oath- nay, by this my sceptre which shalt sprout neither leaf nor shoot, nor bud anew from the day on which it left its parent stem upon the mountains- for the axe stripped it of leaf and bark, and now the sons of the Achaeans bear it as judges and guardians of the decrees of heaven- so surely and solemnly do I swear that hereafter they shall look fondly for Achilles and shall not find him. In the day of your distress, when your men fall dying by the murderous hand of Hector, you shall not know how to help them, and shall rend your heart with rage for the hour when you offered insult to the bravest of the Achaeans." With this the son of Peleus dashed his gold-bestudded sceptre on the ground and took his seat, while the son of Atreus was beginning fiercely from his place upon the other side. Then uprose smooth-tongued Nestor, the facile speaker of the Pylians, and the words fell from his lips sweeter than honey. Two generations of men born and bred in Pylos had passed away under his rule, and he was now reigning over the third. With all sincerity and goodwill, therefore, he addressed them thus:- "Of a truth," he said, "a great sorrow has befallen the Achaean land. Surely Priam with his sons would rejoice, and the Trojans be glad at heart if they could hear this quarrel between you two, who are so excellent in fight and counsel. I am older than either of you; therefore be guided by me. Moreover I have been the familiar friend of men even greater than you are, and they did not disregard my counsels. Never again can I behold such men as Pirithous and Dryas shepherd of his people, or as Caeneus, Exadius, godlike Polyphemus, and Theseus son of Aegeus, peer of the immortals. These were the mightiest men ever born upon this earth: mightiest were they, and when they fought the fiercest tribes of mountain savages they utterly overthrew them. I came from distant Pylos, and went about among them, for they would have me come, and I fought as it was in me to do. Not a man now living could withstand them, but they heard my words, and were persuaded by them. So be it also with yourselves, for this is the more excellent way. Therefore, Agamemnon, though you be strong, take not this girl away, for the sons of the Achaeans have already given her to Achilles; and you, Achilles, strive not further with the king, for no man who by the grace of Jove wields a sceptre has like honour with Agamemnon. You are strong, and have a goddess for your mother; but Agamemnon is stronger than you, for he has more people under him. Son of Atreus, check your anger, I implore you; end this quarrel with Achilles, who in the day of battle is a tower of strength to the Achaeans." And Agamemnon answered, "Sir, all that you have said is true, but this fellow must needs become our lord and master: he must be lord of all, king of all, and captain of all, and this shall hardly be. Granted that the gods have made him a great warrior, have they also given him the right to speak with railing?" Achilles interrupted him. "I should be a mean coward," he cried, "were I to give in to you in all things. Order other people about, not me, for I shall obey no longer. Furthermore I say- and lay my saying to your heart- I shall fight neither you nor any man about this girl, for those that take were those also that gave. But of all else that is at my ship you shall carry away nothing by force. Try, that others may see; if you do, my spear shall be reddened with your blood." When they had quarrelled thus angrily, they rose, and broke up the assembly at the ships of the Achaeans. The son of Peleus went back to his tents and ships with the son of Menoetius and his company, while Agamemnon drew a vessel into the water and chose a crew of twenty oarsmen. He escorted Chryseis on board and sent moreover a hecatomb for the god. And Ulysses went as captain. These, then, went on board and sailed their ways over the sea. But the son of Atreus bade the people purify themselves; so they purified themselves and cast their filth into the sea. Then they offered hecatombs of bulls and goats without blemish on the sea-shore, and the smoke with the savour of their sacrifice rose curling up towards heaven. Thus did they busy themselves throughout the host. But Agamemnon did not forget the threat that he had made Achilles, and called his trusty messengers and squires Talthybius and Eurybates. "Go," said he, "to the tent of Achilles, son of Peleus; take Briseis by the hand and bring her hither; if he will not give her I shall come with others and take her- which will press him harder." He charged them straightly further and dismissed them, whereon they went their way sorrowfully by the seaside, till they came to the tents and ships of the Myrmidons. They found Achilles sitting by his tent and his ships, and ill-pleased he was when he beheld them. They stood fearfully and reverently before him, and never a word did they speak, but he knew them and said, "Welcome, heralds, messengers of gods and men; draw near; my quarrel is not with you but with Agamemnon who has sent you for the girl Briseis. Therefore, Patroclus, bring her and give her to them, but let them be witnesses by the blessed gods, by mortal men, and by the fierceness of Agamemnon's anger, that if ever again there be need of me to save the people from ruin, they shall seek and they shall not find. Agamemnon is mad with rage and knows not how to look before and after that the Achaeans may fight by their ships in safety." Patroclus did as his dear comrade had bidden him. He brought Briseis from the tent and gave her over to the heralds, who took her with them to the ships of the Achaeans- and the woman was loth to go. Then Achilles went all alone by the side of the hoar sea, weeping and looking out upon the boundless waste of waters. He raised his hands in prayer to his immortal mother, "Mother," he cried, "you bore me doomed to live but for a little season; surely Jove, who thunders from Olympus, might have made that little glorious. It is not so. Agamemnon, son of Atreus, has done me dishonour, and has robbed me of my prize by force." As he spoke he wept aloud, and his mother heard him where she was sitting in the depths of the sea hard by the old man her father. Forthwith she rose as it were a grey mist out of the waves, sat down before him as he stood weeping, caressed him with her hand, and said, "My son, why are you weeping? What is it that grieves you? Keep it not from me, but tell me, that we may know it together." Achilles drew a deep sigh and said, "You know it; why tell you what you know well already? We went to Thebe the strong city of Eetion, sacked it, and brought hither the spoil. The sons of the Achaeans shared it duly among themselves, and chose lovely Chryseis as the meed of Agamemnon; but Chryses, priest of Apollo, came to the ships of the Achaeans to free his daughter, and brought with him a great ransom: moreover he bore in his hand the sceptre of Apollo, wreathed with a suppliant's wreath, and he besought the Achaeans, but most of all the two sons of Atreus who were their chiefs. "On this the rest of the Achaeans with one voice were for respecting the priest and taking the ransom that he offered; but not so Agamemnon, who spoke fiercely to him and sent him roughly away. So he went back in anger, and Apollo, who loved him dearly, heard his prayer. Then the god sent a deadly dart upon the Argives, and the people died thick on one another, for the arrows went everywhither among the wide host of the Achaeans. At last a seer in the fulness of his knowledge declared to us the oracles of Apollo, and I was myself first to say that we should appease him. Whereon the son of Atreus rose in anger, and threatened that which he has since done. The Achaeans are now taking the girl in a ship to Chryse, and sending gifts of sacrifice to the god; but the heralds have just taken from my tent the daughter of Briseus, whom the Achaeans had awarded to myself. "Help your brave son, therefore, if you are able. Go to Olympus, and if you have ever done him service in word or deed, implore the aid of Jove. Ofttimes in my father's house have I heard you glory in that you alone of the immortals saved the son of Saturn from ruin, when the others, with Juno, Neptune, and Pallas Minerva would have put him in bonds. It was you, goddess, who delivered him by calling to Olympus the hundred-handed monster whom gods call Briareus, but men Aegaeon, for he is stronger even than his father; when therefore he took his seat all-glorious beside the son of Saturn, the other gods were afraid, and did not bind him. Go, then, to him, remind him of all this, clasp his knees, and bid him give succour to the Trojans. Let the Achaeans be hemmed in at the sterns of their ships, and perish on the sea-shore, that they may reap what joy they may of their king, and that Agamemnon may rue his blindness in offering insult to the foremost of the Achaeans." Thetis wept and answered, "My son, woe is me that I should have borne or suckled you. Would indeed that you had lived your span free from all sorrow at your ships, for it is all too brief; alas, that you should be at once short of life and long of sorrow above your peers: woe, therefore, was the hour in which I bore you; nevertheless I will go to the snowy heights of Olympus, and tell this tale to Jove, if he will hear our prayer: meanwhile stay where you are with your ships, nurse your anger against the Achaeans, and hold aloof from fight. For Jove went yesterday to Oceanus, to a feast among the Ethiopians, and the other gods went with him. He will return to Olympus twelve days hence; I will then go to his mansion paved with bronze and will beseech him; nor do I doubt that I shall be able to persuade him." On this she left him, still furious at the loss of her that had been taken from him. Meanwhile Ulysses reached Chryse with the hecatomb. When they had come inside the harbour they furled the sails and laid them in the ship's hold; they slackened the forestays, lowered the mast into its place, and rowed the ship to the place where they would have her lie; there they cast out their mooring-stones and made fast the hawsers. They then got out upon the sea-shore and landed the hecatomb for Apollo; Chryseis also left the ship, and Ulysses led her to the altar to deliver her into the hands of her father. "Chryses," said he, "King Agamemnon has sent me to bring you back your child, and to offer sacrifice to Apollo on behalf of the Danaans, that we may propitiate the god, who has now brought sorrow upon the Argives." So saying he gave the girl over to her father, who received her gladly, and they ranged the holy hecatomb all orderly round the altar of the god. They washed their hands and took up the barley-meal to sprinkle over the victims, while Chryses lifted up his hands and prayed aloud on their behalf. "Hear me," he cried, "O god of the silver bow, that protectest Chryse and holy Cilla, and rulest Tenedos with thy might. Even as thou didst hear me aforetime when I prayed, and didst press hardly upon the Achaeans, so hear me yet again, and stay this fearful pestilence from the Danaans." Thus did he pray, and Apollo heard his prayer. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal, they drew back the heads of the victims and killed and flayed them. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, set some pieces of raw meat on the top of them, and then Chryses laid them on the wood fire and poured wine over them, while the young men stood near him with five-pronged spits in their hands. When the thigh-bones were burned and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon the spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off: then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, pages filled the mixing-bowl with wine and water and handed it round, after giving every man his drink-offering. Thus all day long the young men worshipped the god with song, hymning him and chaunting the joyous paean, and the god took pleasure in their voices; but when the sun went down, and it came on dark, they laid themselves down to sleep by the stern cables of the ship, and when the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared they again set sail for the host of the Achaeans. Apollo sent them a fair wind, so they raised their mast and hoisted their white sails aloft. As the sail bellied with the wind the ship flew through the deep blue water, and the foam hissed against her bows as she sped onward. When they reached the wide-stretching host of the Achaeans, they drew the vessel ashore, high and dry upon the sands, set her strong props beneath her, and went their ways to their own tents and ships. But Achilles abode at his ships and nursed his anger. He went not to the honourable assembly, and sallied not forth to fight, but gnawed at his own heart, pining for battle and the war-cry. Now after twelve days the immortal gods came back in a body to Olympus, and Jove led the way. Thetis was not unmindful of the charge her son had laid upon her, so she rose from under the sea and went through great heaven with early morning to Olympus, where she found the mighty son of Saturn sitting all alone upon its topmost ridges. She sat herself down before him, and with her left hand seized his knees, while with her right she caught him under the chin, and besought him, saying- "Father Jove, if I ever did you service in word or deed among the immortals, hear my prayer, and do honour to my son, whose life is to be cut short so early. King Agamemnon has dishonoured him by taking his prize and keeping her. Honour him then yourself, Olympian lord of counsel, and grant victory to the Trojans, till the Achaeans give my son his due and load him with riches in requital." Jove sat for a while silent, and without a word, but Thetis still kept firm hold of his knees, and besought him a second time. "Incline your head," said she, "and promise me surely, or else deny me- for you have nothing to fear- that I may learn how greatly you disdain me." At this Jove was much troubled and answered, "I shall have trouble if you set me quarrelling with Juno, for she will provoke me with her taunting speeches; even now she is always railing at me before the other gods and accusing me of giving aid to the Trojans. Go back now, lest she should find out. I will consider the matter, and will bring it about as wish. See, I incline my head that you believe me. This is the most solemn that I can give to any god. I never recall my word, or deceive, or fail to do what I say, when I have nodded my head." As he spoke the son of Saturn bowed his dark brows, and the ambrosial locks swayed on his immortal head, till vast Olympus reeled. When the pair had thus laid their plans, they parted- Jove to his house, while the goddess quitted the splendour of Olympus, and plunged into the depths of the sea. The gods rose from their seats, before the coming of their sire. Not one of them dared to remain sitting, but all stood up as he came among them. There, then, he took his seat. But Juno, when she saw him, knew that he and the old merman's daughter, silver-footed Thetis, had been hatching mischief, so she at once began to upbraid him. "Trickster," she cried, "which of the gods have you been taking into your counsels now? You are always settling matters in secret behind my back, and have never yet told me, if you could help it, one word of your intentions." "Juno," replied the sire of gods and men, "you must not expect to be informed of all my counsels. You are my wife, but you would find it hard to understand them. When it is proper for you to hear, there is no one, god or man, who will be told sooner, but when I mean to keep a matter to myself, you must not pry nor ask questions." "Dread son of Saturn," answered Juno, "what are you talking about? I? Pry and ask questions? Never. I let you have your own way in everything. Still, I have a strong misgiving that the old merman's daughter Thetis has been talking you over, for she was with you and had hold of your knees this self-same morning. I believe, therefore, that you have been promising her to give glory to Achilles, and to kill much people at the ships of the Achaeans." "Wife," said Jove, "I can do nothing but you suspect me and find it out. You will take nothing by it, for I shall only dislike you the more, and it will go harder with you. Granted that it is as you say; I mean to have it so; sit down and hold your tongue as I bid you for if I once begin to lay my hands about you, though all heaven were on your side it would profit you nothing." On this Juno was frightened, so she curbed her stubborn will and sat down in silence. But the heavenly beings were disquieted throughout the house of Jove, till the cunning workman Vulcan began to try and pacify his mother Juno. "It will be intolerable," said he, "if you two fall to wrangling and setting heaven in an uproar about a pack of mortals. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall have no pleasure at our banquet. Let me then advise my mother- and she must herself know that it will be better- to make friends with my dear father Jove, lest he again scold her and disturb our feast. If the Olympian Thunderer wants to hurl us all from our seats, he can do so, for he is far the strongest, so give him fair words, and he will then soon be in a good humour with us." As he spoke, he took a double cup of nectar, and placed it in his mother's hand. "Cheer up, my dear mother," said he, "and make the best of it. I love you dearly, and should be very sorry to see you get a thrashing; however grieved I might be, I could not help for there is no standing against Jove. Once before when I was trying to help you, he caught me by the foot and flung me from the heavenly threshold. All day long from morn till eve, was I falling, till at sunset I came to ground in the island of Lemnos, and there I lay, with very little life left in me, till the Sintians came and tended me." Juno smiled at this, and as she smiled she took the cup from her son's hands. Then Vulcan drew sweet nectar from the mixing-bowl, and served it round among the gods, going from left to right; and the blessed gods laughed out a loud applause as they saw him ing bustling about the heavenly mansion. Thus through the livelong day to the going down of the sun they feasted, and every one had his full share, so that all were satisfied. Apollo struck his lyre, and the Muses lifted up their sweet voices, calling and answering one another. But when the sun's glorious light had faded, they went home to bed, each in his own abode, which lame Vulcan with his consummate skill had fashioned for them. So Jove, the Olympian Lord of Thunder, hied him to the bed in which he always slept; and when he had got on to it he went to sleep, with Juno of the golden throne by his side. Now the other gods and the armed warriors on the plain slept soundly, but Jove was wakeful, for he was thinking how to do honour to Achilles, and destroyed much people at the ships of the Achaeans. In the end he deemed it would be best to send a lying dream to King Agamemnon; so he called one to him and said to it, "Lying Dream, go to the ships of the Achaeans, into the tent of Agamemnon, and say to him word to word as I now bid you. Tell him to get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for he shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans." The dream went when it had heard its message, and soon reached the ships of the Achaeans. It sought Agamemnon son of Atreus and found him in his tent, wrapped in a profound slumber. It hovered over his head in the likeness of Nestor, son of Neleus, whom Agamemnon honoured above all his councillors, and said:- "You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I come as a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this, and when you wake see that it does not escape you." The dream then left him, and he thought of things that were, surely not to be accomplished. He thought that on that same day he was to take the city of Priam, but he little knew what was in the mind of Jove, who had many another hard-fought fight in store alike for Danaans and Trojans. Then presently he woke, with the divine message still ringing in his ears; so he sat upright, and put on his soft shirt so fair and new, and over this his heavy cloak. He bound his sandals on to his comely feet, and slung his silver-studded sword about his shoulders; then he took the imperishable staff of his father, and sallied forth to the ships of the Achaeans. The goddess Dawn now wended her way to vast Olympus that she might herald day to Jove and to the other immortals, and Agamemnon sent the criers round to call the people in assembly; so they called them and the people gathered thereon. But first he summoned a meeting of the elders at the ship of Nestor king of Pylos, and when they were assembled he laid a cunning counsel before them. "My friends," said he, "I have had a dream from heaven in the dead of night, and its face and figure resembled none but Nestor's. It hovered over my head and said, 'You are sleeping, son of Atreus; one who has the welfare of his host and so much other care upon his shoulders should dock his sleep. Hear me at once, for I am a messenger from Jove, who, though he be not near, yet takes thought for you and pities you. He bids you get the Achaeans instantly under arms, for you shall take Troy. There are no longer divided counsels among the gods; Juno has brought them over to her own mind, and woe betides the Trojans at the hands of Jove. Remember this.' The dream then vanished and I awoke. Let us now, therefore, arm the sons of the Achaeans. But it will be well that I should first sound them, and to this end I will tell them to fly with their ships; but do you others go about among the host and prevent their doing so." He then sat down, and Nestor the prince of Pylos with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus: "My friends," said he, "princes and councillors of the Argives, if any other man of the Achaeans had told us of this dream we should have declared it false, and would have had nothing to do with it. But he who has seen it is the foremost man among us; we must therefore set about getting the people under arms." With this he led the way from the assembly, and the other sceptred kings rose with him in obedience to the word of Agamemnon; but the people pressed forward to hear. They swarmed like bees that sally from some hollow cave and flit in countless throng among the spring flowers, bunched in knots and clusters; even so did the mighty multitude pour from ships and tents to the assembly, and range themselves upon the wide-watered shore, while among them ran Wildfire Rumour, messenger of Jove, urging them ever to the fore. Thus they gathered in a pell-mell of mad confusion, and the earth groaned under the tramp of men as the people sought their places. Nine heralds went crying about among them to stay their tumult and bid them listen to the kings, till at last they were got into their several places and ceased their clamour. Then King Agamemnon rose, holding his sceptre. This was the work of Vulcan, who gave it to Jove the son of Saturn. Jove gave it to Mercury, slayer of Argus, guide and guardian. King Mercury gave it to Pelops, the mighty charioteer, and Pelops to Atreus, shepherd of his people. Atreus, when he died, left it to Thyestes, rich in flocks, and Thyestes in his turn left it to be borne by Agamemnon, that he might be lord of all Argos and of the isles. Leaning, then, on his sceptre, he addressed the Argives. "My friends," he said, "heroes, servants of Mars, the hand of heaven has been laid heavily upon me. Cruel Jove gave me his solemn promise that I should sack the city of Priam before returning, but he has played me false, and is now bidding me go ingloriously back to Argos with the loss of much people. Such is the will of Jove, who has laid many a proud city in the dust, as he will yet lay others, for his power is above all. It will be a sorry tale hereafter that an Achaean host, at once so great and valiant, battled in vain against men fewer in number than themselves; but as yet the end is not in sight. Think that the Achaeans and Trojans have sworn to a solemn covenant, and that they have each been numbered- the Trojans by the roll of their householders, and we by companies of ten; think further that each of our companies desired to have a Trojan householder to pour out their wine; we are so greatly more in number that full many a company would have to go without its cup-bearer. But they have in the town allies from other places, and it is these that hinder me from being able to sack the rich city of Ilius. Nine of Jove years are gone; the timbers of our ships have rotted; their tackling is sound no longer. Our wives and little ones at home look anxiously for our coming, but the work that we came hither to do has not been done. Now, therefore, let us all do as I say: let us sail back to our own land, for we shall not take Troy." With these words he moved the hearts of the multitude, so many of them as knew not the cunning counsel of Agamemnon. They surged to and fro like the waves of the Icarian Sea, when the east and south winds break from heaven's clouds to lash them; or as when the west wind sweeps over a field of corn and the ears bow beneath the blast, even so were they swayed as they flew with loud cries towards the ships, and the dust from under their feet rose heavenward. They cheered each other on to draw the ships into the sea; they cleared the channels in front of them; they began taking away the stays from underneath them, and the welkin rang with their glad cries, so eager were they to return. Then surely the Argives would have returned after a fashion that was not fated. But Juno said to Minerva, "Alas, daughter of aegis-bearing Jove, unweariable, shall the Argives fly home to their own land over the broad sea, and leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Minerva was not slack to do her bidding. Down she darted from the topmost summits of Olympus, and in a moment she was at the ships of the Achaeans. There she found Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, standing alone. He had not as yet laid a hand upon his ship, for he was grieved and sorry; so she went close up to him and said, "Ulysses, noble son of Laertes, are you going to fling yourselves into your ships and be off home to your own land in this way? Will you leave Priam and the Trojans the glory of still keeping Helen, for whose sake so many of the Achaeans have died at Troy, far from their homes? Go about at once among the host, and speak fairly to them, man by man, that they draw not their ships into the sea." Ulysses knew the voice as that of the goddess: he flung his cloak from him and set off to run. His servant Eurybates, a man of Ithaca, who waited on him, took charge of the cloak, whereon Ulysses went straight up to Agamemnon and received from him his ancestral, imperishable staff. With this he went about among the ships of the Achaeans. Whenever he met a king or chieftain, he stood by him and spoke him fairly. "Sir," said he, "this flight is cowardly and unworthy. Stand to your post, and bid your people also keep their places. You do not yet know the full mind of Agamemnon; he was sounding us, and ere long will visit the Achaeans with his displeasure. We were not all of us at the council to hear what he then said; see to it lest he be angry and do us a mischief; for the pride of kings is great, and the hand of Jove is with them." But when he came across any common man who was making a noise, he struck him with his staff and rebuked him, saying, "Sirrah, hold your peace, and listen to better men than yourself. You are a coward and no soldier; you are nobody either in fight or council; we cannot all be kings; it is not well that there should be many masters; one man must be supreme- one king to whom the son of scheming Saturn has given the sceptre of sovereignty over you all." Thus masterfully did he go about among the host, and the people hurried back to the council from their tents and ships with a sound as the thunder of surf when it comes crashing down upon the shore, and all the sea is in an uproar. The rest now took their seats and kept to their own several places, but Thersites still went on wagging his unbridled tongue- a man of many words, and those unseemly; a monger of sedition, a railer against all who were in authority, who cared not what he said, so that he might set the Achaeans in a laugh. He was the ugliest man of all those that came before Troy- bandy-legged, lame of one foot, with his two shoulders rounded and hunched over his chest. His head ran up to a point, but there was little hair on the top of it. Achilles and Ulysses hated him worst of all, for it was with them that he was most wont to wrangle; now, however, with a shrill squeaky voice he began heaping his abuse on Agamemnon. The Achaeans were angry and disgusted, yet none the less he kept on brawling and bawling at the son of Atreus. "Agamemnon," he cried, "what ails you now, and what more do you want? Your tents are filled with bronze and with fair women, for whenever we take a town we give you the pick of them. Would you have yet more gold, which some Trojan is to give you as a ransom for his son, when I or another Achaean has taken him prisoner? or is it some young girl to hide and lie with? It is not well that you, the ruler of the Achaeans, should bring them into such misery. Weakling cowards, women rather than men, let us sail home, and leave this fellow here at Troy to stew in his own meeds of honour, and discover whether we were of any service to him or no. Achilles is a much better man than he is, and see how he has treated him- robbing him of his prize and keeping it himself. Achilles takes it meekly and shows no fight; if he did, son of Atreus, you would never again insult him." Thus railed Thersites, but Ulysses at once went up to him and rebuked him sternly. "Check your glib tongue, Thersites," said be, "and babble not a word further. Chide not with princes when you have none to back you. There is no viler creature come before Troy with the sons of Atreus. Drop this chatter about kings, and neither revile them nor keep harping about going home. We do not yet know how things are going to be, nor whether the Achaeans are to return with good success or evil. How dare you gibe at Agamemnon because the Danaans have awarded him so many prizes? I tell you, therefore- and it shall surely be- that if I again catch you talking such nonsense, I will either forfeit my own head and be no more called father of Telemachus, or I will take you, strip you stark naked, and whip you out of the assembly till you go blubbering back to the ships." On this he beat him with his staff about the back and shoulders till he dropped and fell a-weeping. The golden sceptre raised a bloody weal on his back, so he sat down frightened and in pain, looking foolish as he wiped the tears from his eyes. The people were sorry for him, yet they laughed heartily, and one would turn to his neighbour saying, "Ulysses has done many a good thing ere now in fight and council, but he never did the Argives a better turn than when he stopped this fellow's mouth from prating further. He will give the kings no more of his insolence." Thus said the people. Then Ulysses rose, sceptre in hand, and Minerva in the likeness of a herald bade the people be still, that those who were far off might hear him and consider his council. He therefore with all sincerity and goodwill addressed them thus:- "King Agamemnon, the Achaeans are for making you a by-word among all mankind. They forget the promise they made you when they set out from Argos, that you should not return till you had sacked the town of Troy, and, like children or widowed women, they murmur and would set off homeward. True it is that they have had toil enough to be disheartened. A man chafes at having to stay away from his wife even for a single month, when he is on shipboard, at the mercy of wind and sea, but it is now nine long years that we have been kept here; I cannot, therefore, blame the Achaeans if they turn restive; still we shall be shamed if we go home empty after so long a stay- therefore, my friends, be patient yet a little longer that we may learn whether the prophesyings of Calchas were false or true. "All who have not since perished must remember as though it were yesterday or the day before, how the ships of the Achaeans were detained in Aulis when we were on our way hither to make war on Priam and the Trojans. We were ranged round about a fountain offering hecatombs to the gods upon their holy altars, and there was a fine plane-tree from beneath which there welled a stream of pure water. Then we saw a prodigy; for Jove sent a fearful serpent out of the ground, with blood-red stains upon its back, and it darted from under the altar on to the plane-tree. Now there was a brood of young sparrows, quite small, upon the topmost bough, peeping out from under the leaves, eight in all, and their mother that hatched them made nine. The serpent ate the poor cheeping things, while the old bird flew about lamenting her little ones; but the serpent threw his coils about her and caught her by the wing as she was screaming. Then, when he had eaten both the sparrow and her young, the god who had sent him made him become a sign; for the son of scheming Saturn turned him into stone, and we stood there wondering at that which had come to pass. Seeing, then, that such a fearful portent had broken in upon our hecatombs, Calchas forthwith declared to us the oracles of heaven. 'Why, Achaeans,' said he, 'are you thus speechless? Jove has sent us this sign, long in coming, and long ere it be fulfilled, though its fame shall last for ever. As the serpent ate the eight fledglings and the sparrow that hatched them, which makes nine, so shall we fight nine years at Troy, but in the tenth shall take the town.' This was what he said, and now it is all coming true. Stay here, therefore, all of you, till we take the city of Priam." On this the Argives raised a shout, till the ships rang again with the uproar. Nestor, knight of Gerene, then addressed them. "Shame on you," he cried, "to stay talking here like children, when you should fight like men. Where are our covenants now, and where the oaths that we have taken? Shall our counsels be flung into the fire, with our drink-offerings and the right hands of fellowship wherein we have put our trust? We waste our time in words, and for all our talking here shall be no further forward. Stand, therefore, son of Atreus, by your own steadfast purpose; lead the Argives on to battle, and leave this handful of men to rot, who scheme, and scheme in vain, to get back to Argos ere they have learned whether Jove be true or a liar. For the mighty son of Saturn surely promised that we should succeed, when we Argives set sail to bring death and destruction upon the Trojans. He showed us favourable signs by flashing his lightning on our right hands; therefore let none make haste to go till he has first lain with the wife of some Trojan, and avenged the toil and sorrow that he has suffered for the sake of Helen. Nevertheless, if any man is in such haste to be at home again, let him lay his hand to his ship that he may meet his doom in the sight of all. But, O king, consider and give ear to my counsel, for the word that I say may not be neglected lightly. Divide your men, Agamemnon, into their several tribes and clans, that clans and tribes may stand by and help one another. If you do this, and if the Achaeans obey you, you will find out who, both chiefs and peoples, are brave, and who are cowards; for they will vie against the other. Thus you shall also learn whether it is through the counsel of heaven or the cowardice of man that you shall fail to take the town." And Agamemnon answered, "Nestor, you have again outdone the sons of the Achaeans in counsel. Would, by Father Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, that I had among them ten more such councillors, for the city of King Priam would then soon fall beneath our hands, and we should sack it. But the son of Saturn afflicts me with bootless wranglings and strife. Achilles and I are quarrelling about this girl, in which matter I was the first to offend; if we can be of one mind again, the Trojans will not stave off destruction for a day. Now, therefore, get your morning meal, that our hosts join in fight. Whet well your spears; see well to the ordering of your shields; give good feeds to your horses, and look your chariots carefully over, that we may do battle the livelong day; for we shall have no rest, not for a moment, till night falls to part us. The bands that bear your shields shall be wet with the sweat upon your shoulders, your hands shall weary upon your spears, your horses shall steam in front of your chariots, and if I see any man shirking the fight, or trying to keep out of it at the ships, there shall be no help for him, but he shall be a prey to dogs and vultures." Thus he spoke, and the Achaeans roared applause. As when the waves run high before the blast of the south wind and break on some lofty headland, dashing against it and buffeting it without ceasing, as the storms from every quarter drive them, even so did the Achaeans rise and hurry in all directions to their ships. There they lighted their fires at their tents and got dinner, offering sacrifice every man to one or other of the gods, and praying each one of them that he might live to come out of the fight. Agamemnon, king of men, sacrificed a fat five-year-old bull to the mighty son of Saturn, and invited the princes and elders of his host. First he asked Nestor and King Idomeneus, then the two Ajaxes and the son of Tydeus, and sixthly Ulysses, peer of gods in counsel; but Menelaus came of his own accord, for he knew how busy his brother then was. They stood round the bull with the barley-meal in their hands, and Agamemnon prayed, saying, "Jove, most glorious, supreme, that dwellest in heaven, and ridest upon the storm-cloud, grant that the sun may not go down, nor the night fall, till the palace of Priam is laid low, and its gates are consumed with fire. Grant that my sword may pierce the shirt of Hector about his heart, and that full many of his comrades may bite the dust as they fall dying round him." Thus he prayed, but the son of Saturn would not fulfil his prayer. He accepted the sacrifice, yet none the less increased their toil continually. When they had done praying and sprinkling the barley-meal upon the victim, they drew back its head, killed it, and then flayed it. They cut out the thigh-bones, wrapped them round in two layers of fat, and set pieces of raw meat on the top of them. These they burned upon the split logs of firewood, but they spitted the inward meats, and held them in the flames to cook. When the thigh-bones were burned, and they had tasted the inward meats, they cut the rest up small, put the pieces upon spits, roasted them till they were done, and drew them off; then, when they had finished their work and the feast was ready, they ate it, and every man had his full share, so that all were satisfied. As soon as they had had enough to eat and drink, Nestor, knight of Gerene, began to speak. "King Agamemnon," said he, "let us not stay talking here, nor be slack in the work that heaven has put into our hands. Let the heralds summon the people to gather at their several ships; we will then go about among the host, that we may begin fighting at once." Thus did he speak, and Agamemnon heeded his words. He at once sent the criers round to call the people in assembly. So they called them, and the people gathered thereon. The chiefs about the son of Atreus chose their men and marshalled them, while Minerva went among them holding her priceless aegis that knows neither age nor death. From it there waved a hundred tassels of pure gold, all deftly woven, and each one of them worth a hundred oxen. With this she darted furiously everywhere among the hosts of the Achaeans, urging them forward, and putting courage into the heart of each, so that he might fight and do battle without ceasing. Thus war became sweeter in their eyes even than returning home in their ships. As when some great forest fire is raging upon a mountain top and its light is seen afar, even so as they marched the gleam of their armour flashed up into the firmament of heaven. They were like great flocks of geese, or cranes, or swans on the plain about the waters of Cayster, that wing their way hither and thither, glorying in the pride of flight, and crying as they settle till the fen is alive with their screaming. Even thus did their tribes pour from ships and tents on to the plain of the Scamander, and the ground rang as brass under the feet of men and horses. They stood as thick upon the flower-bespangled field as leaves that bloom in summer. As countless swarms of flies buzz around a herdsman's homestead in the time of spring when the pails are drenched with milk, even so did the Achaeans swarm on to the plain to charge the Trojans and destroy them. The chiefs disposed their men this way and that before the fight began, drafting them out as easily as goatherds draft their flocks when they have got mixed while feeding; and among them went King Agamemnon, with a head and face like Jove the lord of thunder, a waist like Mars, and a chest like that of Neptune. As some great bull that lords it over the herds upon the plain, even so did Jove make the son of Atreus stand peerless among the multitude of heroes. And now, O Muses, dwellers in the mansions of Olympus, tell me- for you are goddesses and are in all places so that you see all things, while we know nothing but by report- who were the chiefs and princes of the Danaans? As for the common soldiers, they were so that I could not name every single one of them though I had ten tongues, and though my voice failed not and my heart were of bronze within me, unless you, O Olympian Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, were to recount them to me. Nevertheless, I will tell the captains of the ships and all the fleet together. Peneleos, Leitus, Arcesilaus, Prothoenor, and Clonius were captains of the Boeotians. These were they that dwelt in Hyria and rocky Aulis, and who held Schoenus, Scolus, and the highlands of Eteonus, with Thespeia, Graia, and the fair city of Mycalessus. They also held Harma, Eilesium, and Erythrae; and they had Eleon, Hyle, and Peteon; Ocalea and the strong fortress of Medeon; Copae, Eutresis, and Thisbe the haunt of doves; Coronea, and the pastures of Haliartus; Plataea and Glisas; the fortress of Thebes the less; holy Onchestus with its famous grove of Neptune; Arne rich in vineyards; Midea, sacred Nisa, and Anthedon upon the sea. From these there came fifty ships, and in each there were a hundred and twenty young men of the Boeotians. Ascalaphus and Ialmenus, sons of Mars, led the people that dwelt in Aspledon and Orchomenus the realm of Minyas. Astyoche a noble maiden bore them in the house of Actor son of Azeus; for she had gone with Mars secretly into an upper chamber, and he had lain with her. With these there came thirty ships. The Phoceans were led by Schedius and Epistrophus, sons of mighty Iphitus the son of Naubolus. These were they that held Cyparissus, rocky Pytho, holy Crisa, Daulis, and Panopeus; they also that dwelt in Anemorea and Hyampolis, and about the waters of the river Cephissus, and Lilaea by the springs of the Cephissus; with their chieftains came forty ships, and they marshalled the forces of the Phoceans, which were stationed next to the Boeotians, on their left. Ajax, the fleet son of Oileus, commanded the Locrians. He was not so great, nor nearly so great, as Ajax the son of Telamon. He was a little man, and his breastplate was made of linen, but in use of the spear he excelled all the Hellenes and the Achaeans. These dwelt in Cynus, Opous, Calliarus, Bessa, Scarphe, fair Augeae, Tarphe, and Thronium about the river Boagrius. With him there came forty ships of the Locrians who dwell beyond Euboea. The fierce Abantes held Euboea with its cities, Chalcis, Eretria, Histiaea rich in vines, Cerinthus upon the sea, and the rock-perched town of Dium; with them were also the men of Carystus and Styra; Elephenor of the race of Mars was in command of these; he was son of Chalcodon, and chief over all the Abantes. With him they came, fleet of foot and wearing their hair long behind, brave warriors, who would ever strive to tear open the corslets of their foes with their long ashen spears. Of these there came fifty ships. And they that held the strong city of Athens, the people of great Erechtheus, who was born of the soil itself, but Jove's daughter, Minerva, fostered him, and established him at Athens in her own rich sanctuary. There, year by year, the Athenian youths worship him with sacrifices of bulls and rams. These were commanded by Menestheus, son of Peteos. No man living could equal him in the marshalling of chariots and foot soldiers. Nestor could alone rival him, for he was older. With him there came fifty ships. Ajax brought twelve ships from Salamis, and stationed them alongside those of the Athenians. The men of Argos, again, and those who held the walls of Tiryns, with Hermione, and Asine upon the gulf; Troezene, Eionae, and the vineyard lands of Epidaurus; the Achaean youths, moreover, who came from Aegina and Mases; these were led by Diomed of the loud battle-cry, and Sthenelus son of famed Capaneus. With them in command was Euryalus, son of king Mecisteus, son of Talaus; but Diomed was chief over them all. With these there came eighty ships. Those who held the strong city of Mycenae, rich Corinth and Cleonae; Orneae, Araethyrea, and Licyon, where Adrastus reigned of old; Hyperesia, high Gonoessa, and Pellene; Aegium and all the coast-land round about Helice; these sent a hundred ships under the command of King Agamemnon, son of Atreus. His force was far both finest and most numerous, and in their midst was the king himself, all glorious in his armour of gleaming bronze- foremost among the heroes, for he was the greatest king, and had most men under him. And those that dwelt in Lacedaemon, lying low among the hills, Pharis, Sparta, with Messe the haunt of doves; Bryseae, Augeae, Amyclae, and Helos upon the sea; Laas, moreover, and Oetylus; these were led by Menelaus of the loud battle-cry, brother to Agamemnon, and of them there were sixty ships, drawn up apart from the others. Among them went Menelaus himself, strong in zeal, urging his men to fight; for he longed to avenge the toil and sorrow that he had suffered for the sake of Helen. The men of Pylos and Arene, and Thryum where is the ford of the river Alpheus; strong Aipy, Cyparisseis, and Amphigenea; Pteleum, Helos, and Dorium, where the Muses met Thamyris, and stilled his minstrelsy for ever. He was returning from Oechalia, where Eurytus lived and reigned, and boasted that he would surpass even the Muses, daughters of aegis-bearing Jove, if they should sing against him; whereon they were angry, and maimed him. They robbed him of his divine power of song, and thenceforth he could strike the lyre no more. These were commanded by Nestor, knight of Gerene, and with him there came ninety ships. And those that held Arcadia, under the high mountain of Cyllene, near the tomb of Aepytus, where the people fight hand to hand; the men of Pheneus also, and Orchomenus rich in flocks; of Rhipae, Stratie, and bleak Enispe; of Tegea and fair Mantinea; of Stymphelus and Parrhasia; of these King Agapenor son of Ancaeus was commander, and they had sixty ships. Many Arcadians, good soldiers, came in each one of them, but Agamemnon found them the ships in which to cross the sea, for they were not a people that occupied their business upon the waters. The men, moreover, of Buprasium and of Elis, so much of it as is enclosed between Hyrmine, Myrsinus upon the sea-shore, the rock Olene and Alesium. These had four leaders, and each of them had ten ships, with many Epeans on board. Their captains were Amphimachus and Thalpius- the one, son of Cteatus, and the other, of Eurytus- both of the race of Actor. The two others were Diores, son of Amarynces, and Polyxenus, son of King Agasthenes, son of Augeas. And those of Dulichium with the sacred Echinean islands, who dwelt beyond the sea off Elis; these were led by Meges, peer of Mars, and the son of valiant Phyleus, dear to Jove, who quarrelled with his father, and went to settle in Dulichium. With him there came forty ships. Ulysses led the brave Cephallenians, who held Ithaca, Neritum with its forests, Crocylea, rugged Aegilips, Samos and Zacynthus, with the mainland also that was over against the islands. These were led by Ulysses, peer of Jove in counsel, and with him there came twelve ships. Thoas, son of Andraemon, commanded the Aetolians, who dwelt in Pleuron, Olenus, Pylene, Chalcis by the sea, and rocky Calydon, for the great king Oeneus had now no sons living, and was himself dead, as was also golden-haired Meleager, who had been set over the Aetolians to be their king. And with Thoas there came forty ships. The famous spearsman Idomeneus led the Cretans, who held Cnossus, and the well-walled city of Gortys; Lyctus also, Miletus and Lycastus that lies upon the chalk; the populous towns of Phaestus and Rhytium, with the other peoples that dwelt in the hundred cities of Crete. All these were led by Idomeneus, and by Meriones, peer of murderous Mars. And with these there came eighty ships. Tlepolemus, son of Hercules, a man both brave and large of stature, brought nine ships of lordly warriors from Rhodes. These dwelt in Rhodes which is divided among the three cities of Lindus, Ielysus, and Cameirus, that lies upon the chalk. These were commanded by Tlepolemus, son of Hercules by Astyochea, whom he had carried off from Ephyra, on the river Selleis, after sacking many cities of valiant warriors. When Tlepolemus grew up, he killed his father's uncle Licymnius, who had been a famous warrior in his time, but was then grown old. On this he built himself a fleet, gathered a great following, and fled beyond the sea, for he was menaced by the other sons and grandsons of Hercules. After a voyage. during which he suffered great hardship, he came to Rhodes, where the people divided into three communities, according to their tribes, and were dearly loved by Jove, the lord, of gods and men; wherefore the son of Saturn showered down great riches upon them. And Nireus brought three ships from Syme- Nireus, who was the handsomest man that came up under Ilius of all the Danaans after the son of Peleus- but he was a man of no substance, and had but a small following. And those that held Nisyrus, Crapathus, and Casus, with Cos, the city of Eurypylus,