My Funny Picture

jokes??!!? I play volleyball and believe it or not everytime we get all tense during a game and stuff our coach tells us a joke and we actually do a little better after a joke...does anyone have some quick funny jokes for the huddle??

Jokes....? Do you think the majority of time people say things in a joking manner they are really meant to be serious? Just maybe that person doesn't want to make a blatant statement so they address it in the form of a playful conversation/joke to make it more lighthearted. Example: A woman tells her male coworker... your new haircut looks really awful, but says oh just kidding. I personally think people are serious when they make "playful" comments or jokes directly to another person... what about you?!

JOKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? ok so my teacher always says "your butter because you on a roll" so i wanted to create more sayings like that for example "go take an ice bath because your on fire" they don't have to b good jokes just something that praises the kids oh and hes a computer teacher 10 POINTS WILL BE GIVEN TO THE ONE WITH THE MOST APPROPRIATE JOKES thanks again ~mandy

JoKeS.....................? any1 have good jokes ill give best answer to the 1 i think best lolz put up anythink lolz baii

JOKEs????^_^ ?????? Lets get some short quick jokes going.... "whats red and looks like a bucket?" "A red bucket!" Next....

JOkEs!!!!!!? I hope they'll make u laugh! 1) A motorcyclist hits a fat man crossing a lane Fat man : Road Hog! Why didnt you drive around me??? Motor cyclist : I dont think i have enough gas.. 2) Student : Shop keeper, i cant pay my bill this month.. Keeper : But u said that last month!!! Student : Im kept my words didnt i?? 3) Citizen : How much to take me to the station?? Taxi driver : 20 bucks... Citizen :: How much money for the luggage?? Taxi Driver : Oh! that goes free! Citizen : Okay! take my luggage.I'll walk! 4) 1st person : why r u so sad today? 2nd person : Marie said she wouldnt talk to me for 30 days days and today's the last one... I know these arent that funny....but...LAUGH IT OFF~!

JOkes.........---------? Once upon in air india flight, one Indian man and a English man were traveling, the indian man got his dinner from home, he took it out the box, and took out a roti (indian chapati) then at that moment english man curiously asked 'what?s that', the Indian replied 'bread of India' After a while the Indian took out a gulabjamun (Indian sweet), at that moment English asked 'whats that'. then Indian replied 'sweet of India'. after some time the Indian guy farted with a big sound at that moment the English man asked 'what's that', the indian said thats 'AIR INDIA ---------------------------------------# In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat Katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it. Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is Going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki Behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak Third one is born..." Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I Have a doubt ( sounding nervous n confused) " Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how Come u have one?" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ? Masterji fainted.........................no answer..... --------------------------------------------# JOHNNY JOHNNY YES PAPA IN TELANGANA TELUGU Actual poem in english ============== johnny....johnny....yes papa eating sugar....no papa telling lies......no papa open u r mouth.....hahaha NOW IN TELANGANA STYLE ================== johnny gaa...johnny gaa...endi naayana chakkara bukkinnav raa....ledhu naayana abaddhaalu chebutaav raa lambidi kodakaa....ledhu nayana nooru teravaraa donga poradaa....haaa gabbu kodathaadi rendu dinaalasandhi thomale Rinki well w8 for next set of jokes........i post there in hindi....

How do I think of more jokes that have class as opposed to being cheap? When I joke with my friends, the jokes just concerns simple things and they are classified as cheap....Overtime, my friends then ignores my jokes because they always hear them. How do I become creative with my jokes?

Anyone have jokes for the emcee of a middle school talent show? I am writing a script for several student emcees. The jokes need to be clean and age-appropriate. Jokes can be related to performing, but they don't have to be. I used all of my best material last year!

What kind of jokes do gay people make about straight people? Not the most politically correct thing in the world, but there a ton of jokes about gay people. But do gay people have any jokes about straight people?

What are some Libertarian jokes that make fun of democrats & republicans in the same joke? Well I've seen the libertarian lightbulb joke & some anti-communist jokes but I havent seen any jokes that are both anti-democrat & anti-republican. I have seen republican jokes that are anti-democrat too. Are there any Libertarian jokes that make fun of liberals & conservatives?

What are some good jokes to make at my friend who wants to date the lead singer of a band? My friend is in the early stages of a relationship with the lead singer of a band from our hometown. I've been harassing her with jokes about Yoko Ono and Courtney love, but I'm running out of fuel. I need some more jokes relating to famous band break-ups.

What jokes are appropiate for a family dinner? My dad's side of the family is having a dinner and everyone has to tell a joke. So what are some appropiate jokes because the jokes that I have are not appropiate for a family dinner.

Why is it offensive to joke about the Jews but jokes about others are ok? You can say blond jokes all the time and that is supposed to be ok. But you can not joke at all about Jews. Earlier I made a joke, "Where do you send Jewish children who have A.D.D.?" and everyone says I am hating the Jews. You cannot make any little joke about them or people get upset. This is not the account I asked on.

How should I respond to remarks/jokes about my weaknesses? I always get awkward when comments or jokes are made about obvious flaws/weaknesses in my appearance or personality. What is the best way to respond in these types of situation? Should I try to make a joke about it, verbally agree to it or just not say anything?

What are good jokes to say after someone says your tall? What are good jokes to say after someone says your tall? Everyday someone asks me how tall I am. I am 6'6 and I always say I drink alot of milk. I would like other sayings that would make them laugh and want to get to know me.

What do you think about the jokes going around about the recently passed croc hunter? I have heard 2 jokes so far bout the croc hunters death and being from Aus and the jokes coming from here are just disrespectful not just to the dead (R.I.P) but to his family and friends that are still grieving.

What are good jokes to say after someone says your skinny? I'm not that skinny, but compared to my friends I'm anorexic cause most of them are way over weight. What are good jokes to say after someone says your skinny?

What are some jokes short people can make fun of themselves with? Im running for student council (7th grade VP) and im short and everyone always makes jokes about it lol and so i want my slogan to have something to do with my height:) Thank you answers needed soon!

What are good jokes to make at a fashion style show? My bank is hosting a "Style Show" to display proper dress code. I will be commenting on the wardrobe, make silly remarks at times. What are some things I can say for the approved wardrobe, and what are some jokes I can make at the unapproved wardrobe with out offending anyone, but making it a fun experience. Any ideas what music we should have playing on the background? Simplest way to make a fast, inexpensive runway?

How do YOU react to jokes that make fun of your sexual orientation? Ok, Im a little bit of a jokester and tell jokes all the time. I have lots of gay friends and they always laugh at jokes that make fun of gays, no matter how offensive. But that's b/c they know I like gays and support them. And I'm just wondering does it offend you when someone makes a gay joke?? And if/if not does it make a difference if you know the person making the joke supports gays??

What are some funny jokes to play on friends for April Fools Day? My sister needs some ideas for playing jokes on her friends. She is towards the higher grades of elementary, but they need to be appropriate enough, so that her friends don't get mad at her and she doesn't get in trouble.

How did all the jokes against blonde's start? Ok all I am wondering is how all those stupid blonde jokes got started? Does any one know? Any answer is appreciated. :D

What are some funny jokes that pertain to the sport of bowling? I might go bowling with a group of friends later this week and I was wondering if you knew any funny jokes I could crack up while we're playing. Thanks.

What are some funny jokes to tell during technical difficulties at an 8th grade talent show? Talent show is FRIDAY, and we are sure to have technical difficulties! We are planning to make our class president tell the jokes. Age appropiate please!! My wierd science teacher wants us to tell science jokes...like, gold and alumminum walk into a bar, and gold says Au!!! Ha Ha. Get it HEY YOU? Au? Alumminum??? not funny Anything is better than that

What are some quick jokes I could include in a funny story? The story will be about time travelling hobos, so I need hobo jokes or some historical events the hobos can get involved in. I need quick jokes, maybe one liners, but no common jokes.

What is a smogarian? My brother has a book of clean jokes and 2 pages are jokes about smogarians? My brother has a book of clean jokes and 2 pages are jokes about smogarians. What are smogarians?

What are some funny jokes to make a guy laugh? Ok so there's this guy I like on facebook and I want to know some funny jokes to tell him or maybe something really funny that he'll be laughing over. Maybe some Yo Mamma jokes or something. Please best answer will get 10 points for the best jokes but No Websites please. I don't want any jokes from a website please use it in ur own words plz.

What are some good jokes about white people? Being Mexican and in High School, I get a little bit of "friendly" humor from my friends now and then. There are plenty of jokes about mexicans, black people, asians, and just about every nationality you can think of (except white people) . But I want to know, does anyone knows any good white jokes that I can use as comebacks next time someone launches a mexican joke at me?

How do you handle inapropriate jokes at work? There are just a few women colleagues at work. I have lunch with mostly male colleagues at the recreational area. Sometimes, the jokes they make are quite embarassing, with reference to sex, porn etc. Every one else laughs out loud and I just keep silent and get away from there at my earliest oppurtunity. I try to make a decent conversation and ask general questions. What is the best way to deal with it?

What is the best website to find the funniest jokes? It has to have every single kind of joke. They have to have clean and dirty jokes.

How do you find out if jokes are copyright protected? I want to put some common jokes into a video. Is there an easy way to find out if they are copyright protected or may the paper trail be too long to follow? Thanks.

Do you have any good jokes or websites that would have good jokes? My friends and I are people who love to laugh, do you have any good jokes to share or a website with good jokes? Thanks!

What are some funny unique jokes I can tell at school tommorow? Please I only go for short, actually funny jokes. I don't want any lame jokes I mean seriously unique funny jokes I would appreciate if you could share at least 1 of them with me thanks!

How many are planning to play Rapture jokes on people tomorrow? I've been wondering if it wouldn't be fun to suddenly hop a train to some place, leave my truck in the garage, my dinner half eaten, and not tell anybody I planned a trip. Then they'd have the rest of the weekend to consider that I must have been a very good person and I had been Raptured. And they weren't. What Rapture jokes do you plan for Saturday?

How does Fox network respond to jokes about them on The Simpsons? There are ongoing jokes about Fox on the Simpsons (the network that airs the show). I personally find them funny but I can see if Fox finds them insulting. Does anyone have a response that they can find from Fox regarding the jokes made on the show? The jokes are mainly about what a bad network Fox is.

What jokes would be good to tell around the girl you have liked for a long time? There is a girl I've liked for a while now and i don't know if she likes me. What jokes could i tell around her to get her to like me?

What are some good jokes that make fun of the Montreal Canadiens? I am looking for some good jokes to use against one of my friends who is a hard core Montreal Canadiens fan. I am looking for some good jokes to use as comebacks.

How come late night comedians are afraid to make jokes about Obama? I heard so much while Bush was in office from Leno, Letterman, other celebrities but there no jokes about Obama. Pussies.

What one liners or dirty jokes can we tell him? My friend has a boyfriend named Reese, but we all call him Peanut Butter cup....what type of one liners or jokes she tell him? She wanted something to say during sex but we are looking for all types of jokes!

How unfair is it that someone wants to suppress my jokes? I like to think i make great jokes, all original, but apparently a certain baked good user doesn't like them. She hates them. I work so hard on these jokes, and I am never appreciated. Should i : Kill myself Make more jokes Never make a joke again and bow to the pressure of the world?

Would it be racist to make "Godzilla" jokes if the nuclear plants in Japan do suffer a meltdown? I can imagine it. The nuclear plants in Japan that suffered the wrath of the earthquake have a meltdown and Leno, Letterman, Conan, and even everyday common people start making GODZILLA jokes simply cuz the nuclear meltdown happened in Japan. Would this be racist? And for that matter, would Japanese people take offense to it?

How to deal with a teacher that makes sexual jokes? I'm a school counselor and this is the first time I encounter this situation. I already have an action plan, but I need some other opinions too. More parents have told us (teachers, principal and me) that one teacher is making inappropriate sexual jokes and suggestions while he's teaching. Next week we are determined to act and solve the case. In your opinion, what is the best way to approach this case?

What are some good practical jokes that I can play on my brother? Okay, my brother is really mean (calls me names like bimbo, airhead, ect.) and I want to get back at him by playing some practical jokes. They don't even have to be jokes, just something that I can do (he doesn't even have to notice it) that will make me feel better. But, they have to be something where he won't know its me (optional) and my parents won't know it's me ( a must). Thanks!

What do you think about the persons who advise others not to crack jokes on others ? They advise others not to crack jokes on others and state that they will be insulting others. But, they will never ever give up cracking jokes under the name "Fun and Fun Only"?

Do the people who write the jokes on popsicle sticks get paid? My roommate is contemplating dropping out of college to write the jokes on popsicle sticks but she wants to know if she can make a living. Does anyone have any insight into a popsicle-stick-joke-writer's paycheck?

When is it inappropriate to make jokes about Erectile Dysfunction? As a teenager, I often make jokes about Erectile Dysfunction. When do I need to worry about my friends having Erectile Dysfunction, and them becomming offended by jokes about Erectile Dysfunction?

What are some really good practical jokes to play? I'm looking for a couple of really good practical jokes to play on friends - so, what's your favorite practical joke(s)? Only clean ones, please.

What are some jokes that I can tell at school for a project? I have to do a project with my friends (it sucks) and I need some jokes. I need 15 but any would help. Also, please don't tell me to do my own homework because I'm the one who has to say them in front of my own class! Thank you!

What are some jokes about the luger that died in the olympics? I need to know and tell some jokes about it whenever the subject gets brought up.

What does it mean when a guy keeps making sexual jokes? He'd make those geeky Pokemon jokes about how he's like an onix and how he's using harden, invite me to do him and things like that. But he seems to be flirting more and more often. What is he trying to imply with these?

What are some examples of appropriate jokes to tell on interviews? I hear that a common way to start an interveiw is for the interviewer to ask the interveiwee to tell a joke. I would like to be prepared if this is asked of me in an upcoming interview and I can not think of any appropriate and funny jokes.

JOKES??????????????????????????? need some really funny jokes to impress some friends. no knock knock jokes. you people know who you are.................

What are some funny jokes/stories to tell at a funeral service ? I need funny jokes or stories to tell at a funeral service tonight, just to lighten up the mood of the folks. Any rude comments, please , don't post anything.

What are some good jokes for a comedy comic? I'm making a comic about a bittorent tracker user having cops on his tail xD. Its supposed to be funny and the part 1 was (I posted it in my tracker forum and everyone liked it) But I have no ideas for part two. Any good jokes or funny situations/events?

What are some clever jokes/quotes that satirize the stupidity of the present-day Human? What are some clever jokes/quotes that satirize the stupidity of the present day Human? Or our present day culture? Some that may even be a little subtle or abstruse to most people. Not saying one is unintelligent if he/she doesn't understand, but more like naive or sort of oblivious to their own nature.

JOKES?!?!!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!? So i have this friend whos dating her neighbor so they live right next to eachother. They're like 14 and i wanna crack some jokes about them and i need some help. Got any ideas??

What are your favorite jokes about atheists? Knock knock. Who's there? No one. What are your favourite jokes about atheists? How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they wait for it to evolve into a new one.

What are some really funny jokes that are school appropriate? I'm being an MC for my school's talent show & we have to say two funny jokes. What would be good jokes that would make everyone laugh & are school apporiate?

What are good family jokes for april fools day? P.S. Im going to the beach, so if you have any beach jokes that would help too.

What are some fun jokes to play on roommates? My boyfriend and I live with my best friend. She gets kind of annoying sometimes so we are looking for some fun jokes to play on her. Does anyone have any suggestions? They can range from being nice and hilarious to both sides to being kind of cruel to just my boyfriend and I.

What are the dirty jokes behind spongebob everyone is talking about? Everyone says it was supposrd to be an adult show & they're are dirty jokes in it? What are they

Since Liberals say exposing yourself in the spotlight is subject to jokes and scrutiny? Like Sarah Palin and her family has been getting nonstop for a long time. What about Obama? He's been on camera and in the spotlight more than a sitcom star. Where are all the jokes and scrutiny with him and the things he's screwed up on? Bias much?

What are some inside jokes with the jonas brothers and their fans? Im a HUGE Jonas Brother fan and i was just wondering if you have any inside jokes with the fans, like when Joe says "awkward" and their YouTube video quotes. So if you have any could you please answer thanks so much! No rude comments please!

How come guys make perverted jokes to impress a girl? Last year i hung out with this kid and his friend (the kid liked me) and he said like really gross jokes, that he should keep to himself or not say infront of a girl. guys.. why do you feel to say things like that infront of girls you like? or say things about girls in graphic terms when you like the girl your saying it to?

How can people tell disgusting jokes about Michael Jackson? Don't they know how disrespectful it is? Nasty jokes and talking about his surgeries on his face. You know how many other famous people have plastic surgery? It don't seem to bother anyone. Cher would tell you where to go. Had people not teased him at a early age maybe he would've been ok.

White people: How do you really feel about jokes about you? I am mixed and have white friends, and a white fiancee, so no accusations of me being racist. Thank you. Lately I have been going to a comedy club, and alot of the comedian, most of whom are black are telling jokes like that. Examples: (black comic): Welcome to Germantown. Where you can see caucasions in their natural habitat. (black comic): Where are all the rowdy white people. When things get outta hand, y'all gonna get me arrested. (George Carlin): White people have no business playing the blues. Your job is to give people the blues. I'll admit I like those jokes, but as long as no one group is picked on. One comic said, I offended everyone here, but remember, I offended EVERYONE. Ok, a white poking fun at a black. There is a ventriloquist named Jeff Dunham who has a black dummy named Sweeeeet Daddy Dee. The dummy tell these jokes making fun of NASCAR and hockey. Nascar: Look, they making a left turn. Look they're making another left turn. Look another left turn. Go take a nap, you ain't gonna' miss a damn thing!! Now there is a double standard, but he was joking about blacks (the dummy), and whites (himself) literally in the same breath. Well, for the most part, I see y'all have a pretty good humor about it. I'll admit there IS a double standard, most blacks may not be tolerant of the jokes, but in time hopefully we can have a respect for one another and point fun at our flaws and quirks. My father is a comic, and he always said, only make fun of "your own." As someone mixed w/ black, german, english, polish, and possibly french, I have alot of groups I could tease under that theory...and they are all my blood. I applaud y'all for being able to laugh at yourselves... if respectful white people (and they'd have to be know to be respectful) told jokes about black people, we could laugh at ourselves. Unfortunately the majority of black jokes are told by racists, or those perceived to be racist.

What are some good practical jokes to play on co workers? So my co worker likes to play jokes on me and my other co workers. I need some ideas on how to get him back. Nothing to complacated, but something that we all will remember.

How long after a public figure dies is it socially acceptable to make jokes about them? How long after a public figure, like a celeb or whatever dies is it socially acceptable to make jokes about them??

Jokes...............??? I love to laugh but i ran out of jokes! Any good jokes, i love all kinds! The joke that makes me laugh most gets best answer!

How do you interpret the Conservative jokes of Stephen Colbert? Do you believe that he is liberal/apathetic and that he is mocking conservatism, or that he is a conservative who uses jokes to get points across? Please include your political standing (Conservative/Liberal/Independent) in your sources.

How many people are sick of the jokes and ill talk about the Crocodile Hunter? I find what ever site I go to there seems to people making jokes and talking ill of Steve. This is someone Husband and someone Father. I makes me angry. Yes I know everyone entitled to their freedom of speech, but this man was out there to teach us about the animals that need us to save there planet. Respect is what we should be showing his family. In times like this people need to follow the one golden rule in life: If you can say anything nice, then dont say anything at all.

What should you do if a person jokes that they are a vampire when you really don't want them to? Those kind of jokes are not funny, and doing them to scare people even on Halloween unless you are acting in a horror movie where you are supposed to do it is never a good idea. It will gross and freak people out as well as offend them especially if they don't like vampires. Besides they are not real, so don't even try it.

What is a safe ink for writing jokes on homemade popsicle sticks? I want to make homemade popsicles with personal jokes etc. written on the popsicle sticks (tongue depressors) Does anyone know of a good, safe way to do this? Any ideas? Thank you!

jokes>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>? what are the best jokes you have heard??

Jokes>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>? What are some of the most hilarious jokes you've ever heard? Here are some of mine: A little girl just stands there on the edge of a cliff, crying. A priest comes along. He asks her, "Why are you so sad, little girl?". She responds, "My mummy and daddy went down the cliff there." As he looks around carefully, he begins taking off his robes, "This is just not your day.." A short one: What is white, sticky, and goes 1000 mph across the sky? - - - The coming of the Lord! A longer one: (somewhat dirty) A little panda bear goes into a pros-house. He goes into a bed with one of the female pros. He begins giving her oral. Da pros. wakes up halfway. She is about to chase the panda bear away, but decides to let him finish cuz it feels so good. He finishes.. and starts to leave. W8, she says, "you didn't pay me yet!" The panda bear shrugs and continues walking out. She then holds up a dictionary. Look here! The panda bear comes back. She flips to prostitute, "Someone who gets money for services done with body" The little panda bear just shrugs and goes to the definition of panda bear. "eats bushes and leaves" long one (clean): Two friends are out hunting. Suddenly, one falls to the ground, eyes fading. The other calls 911. The operator picks up. "My friend is dead! Hurry up and take him to the hospital!" The operator responds, "Wait.. chill out. First, make sure that he's dead. There is momentary silence, then a gunshot. The friend says, "Ok. What's next" (one to Sherlock Holmes) Sherlock H. and Watson are out camping in the stars. They begin sleeping in a tent. Halfway through the night, Sherlock Holmes wakes up. He shakes Watson up and asks him. "Look into the skies. What do you see?" Watson responds, "I see millions of stars twinkling." Holmes says, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars, theres a very good chance that there is a planet like Earth. Therefore, there may be another planet that can support life." "No, you dumb_ _ _ , someone stole our tent!" Star me if you liked the questions/answers :D

Why are there all these chuck norris jokes if he now looks like a wimp on his commercials? He just looks really old. According to the jokes I may be making the worst mistake of all time. So am I making the mistake. But I think I may give good old chuch norris a run for his money in a fight.

Why do you think People Are Offended By Racist Jokes But Not Offended By Sexist Jokes? Most people are offended by racist jokes but not offended by sexist jokes. Why? If the answer is let's not be PC, well then we shouldn't be PC about race, racist, jewish, anti-semitic jokes as well. Why do we criticize Limbaugh and ann coultor for racist jokes and commentary when we don't critcize those who are fond of making sexist commentary. Aren't Limbaugh and Coultor entitled to freedom of speech.

What are some funny comedians who tell clean jokes, and have clean routines? I already know Stuart Mclean, and Brian Regan, does anyone know any other comedians who don't tell dirty jokes?

How to deal with people who go too far with their jokes and become really rude and disrespectful? How to deal with people who go to far with their jokes and become really rude and disrespectful? While it's nice to have a laugh with family and/or friends, some people go too far with their jokes and become rude and disrespectful, they go overboard, so the question is, how do you deal with them?

How would one go about getting over comedic jokes made about them? Comedic jokes that were, although harmless fun, may have hurt their feelings.

Why Is It Considered Politically Incorrect To Makes Jokes About Native Americans Being Alcoholics? But it is considered perfectly fine to make jokes about the Irish being alcoholics ? Why the double standards ?

Does anyone know any jokes that a vegetarian can tell to a meat-eater? I'm a vegetarian and I am getting tired of non-vegetarians giving me a hard time and making jokes to me! I wish a had jokes to say back to them or anything that would embaress them for picking on me. Thanks!

What do you do when your boss makes jokes using the n-word and you are a black person? My boss seems to think it is being cool to tell jokes using the n-word and I'm a black person. He thinks it means he's not a racist but I'm his employee, not his drinking buddy. Should I report this because it does make me uncomfortable or should I let it go and find another job?

What types of jokes would be inappropriate for stand-ups? Im trying to get into stand-up comedy, im trying to book a gig in the next few weeks but im worried that my jokes might cause offence. what catergories of jokes should i tell? Ive been researching other stand-up comedians and they joke about black people( white comedians), gay people, welsh people and sheep, white people (black comedians) etc but they are already famous comedians. as a beginner what type of jokes should i tell? thnks

How old does a tragedy have to be before jokes about it are allowed on comedy shows on tv or radio? I have heard many jokes and sketches about the Titanic sinking, where hundreds of children were drowned. None yet about Aberfan or Dunblane. How long before some sicko decides it's ok?

What are some good practical jokes I can play on my brother? Okay, my brother is really mean (calls me names like bimbo, airhead, ect.) and I want to get back at him by playing some practical jokes. They don't even have to be jokes, just something that I can do (he doesn't even have to notice it) that will make me feel better. But, they have to be something where he won't know its me (optional) and my parents won't know it's me ( a must). Thanks!

What are some short flirty jokes to tell my crush in a text? I want him to take an interest in me so I want to tell him some jokes. Jokes that are short and simple. They have a question and answer,

What's the difference between Brandon Crisp and Brandon Crisp jokes? The jokes will get old.

What are some funny Yo- mama jokes or they could be any types of jokes? They have to funny, i accept any kinds of jokes but they have to be appropriate.

How is a girl supposed to react around guys perverted jokes? I always thought it wasn't classy for a girl to laugh and go along when guys would act perverted and crack perverted jokes. agree? or do u just think i'm uptight and too serious?

Is better to tell people to stop sending me rude jokes and pornography or to delete the emails? I don't like to read jokes and chain letters. I hate pornographic emails. So, here's the question: Is better to tell people to stop sending me those kind of emails, or it's best to delete the emails without telling them anything? In the past I've told them and they got offended and stopped talking to me. Is best to tell them to stop or just delete the emails?

What are some great jokes to tell to a guy to cheer him up? I am trying to cheer up a guy, we are not friends or close, we are just housemate. I don't know what to say to cheer him up because he did pretty bad on his midterm. Any great jokes to tell to a college guy?

What do you think of a professor whom often makes jokes about how he is unlucky in love during classtime? I have a teacher that I took a class with 3 years ago and he used to make jokes about how he was unlucky in love. He was single at the time. His jokes were really very funny, though. He became engaged 9 months ago. However, last week he hosted an event at college and he was STILL making jokes about him being unlucky in love. What does it mean? 1 do you teach university or community college? 2 what subject do you teach? 3 how long have you been teaching?

What are some funny jokes and brain teasers? I like to tell jokes and brain teasers but I ran out. Do someone have any?

Funny clean quotes and jokes that I havent heard that I can put on my binder? I want some that will make people think for a second, or that are really funny, but not the jokes that everyone has heard. Or just little sayings that are funny or whatever. If there is any about skiing that would be great.

What website can I submit jokes (or others) where I can be paid? I really want to submit my own stories and also jokes and want them to be priced. Please give me sites so I can submit them. Thanks a lot. :p

Where did the dumb blonde jokes ariginate from? Is it really true that blonde's are inferior to brunettes, I didn't think so at first but the media always insists on it, and there are so many jokes about it. One of the girls in my class is a natural blonde and she is always getting dissed about being a dumb blonde. I'd like to know if their really is proof of it.

Do you have any jokes about the upcoming Wolvernie movie or Hugh Jackman? I need to make jokes about this year's summer movies for a cartoon I'm making. I already have some jokes about the new Terminator movie and the new Harry Potter movie. I also want to make jokes about this new X-Men/Wolverine movie coming out soon. Any help?

Do you have any jokes about the upcoming Wolverine movie or Hugh Jackman? I need to make jokes about this year's summer movies for a cartoon I'm making. I already have some jokes about the new Terminator movie and the new Harry Potter movie. I also want to make jokes about this new X-Men/Wolverine movie coming out soon. Any help?

What website can you find funny yo momma jokes? Does anybody know where i can find funny yo momma jokes? i'm looking on google and usually the websites have like 2 funny jokes mixed up in there.

How can i make a girl laugh with random jokes? How can i make a girl laugh with random jokes? any advice on how to be creative enough to make up random jokes and face expressions to make a girl laugh?

where do I find animated text jokes for my cellphone? I want to text jokes and forwards to my phone, with full animation and sound.

Do you tell jokes on Halloween and where do you live? I live in St. Louis, MO, and we used to tell jokes while trick or treating. I thought everyone did, but apparently not. So do you tell jokes and where do you live?

Why do atheist like to make jokes about religion? The perfect world would be the one where everyone would respect each others beliefs. Nothing against people who choose to be atheists. But why do they like to make fun or jokes about other religion? Religion is almost like culture. There is so much beauty and diversity. Would love to see more respect among individual and religions.

How can I get some more Blonde Jokes from you kind and funny people? I don't care what Spell Checker says, Blond is masculine and Blonde is feminine. I will not bend. And I KNOW there are no Orange hair jokes. (My hair is not really orange but you guessed as much.) This category is so cool.

What are good funny jokes for the bar? I am not funny and I am like the only one who tells lame jokes if I have to tell a joke! Im not good at it so what would be some funny jokes where I am funny?! I feel so awkward when all my friends at the bar tell jokes and I am the only one just sitting there laughing and feel like a loser because I am not funny and I dont want to tell a joke and sound stupid! Any advice? Is it better to sit there quiet and just laugh and be yourself? Alot of jokes I dont get.

How many americans -do you think- will try to make silly jokes on Turkey till the Thanksgiving day? you know, there are tons of them who think they could be funny with word games on Turkey .. and some are misreably redneck to place their jokes in Turkey Travel section. Do you think we're going to see some 'clever' jokes from Americans for a change? Or will they be as dumb as ever?

Does anyone know any good mom and dad jokes that are approriate for elementry schools? I'm doing a stupid stand-up comedy act and I need some jokes ASAP! My act is due on MONDAY so please help! I've searched everywhere on the internet so help!

Any chemistry jokes that the professor might not have already heard? I asked earlier, but I asked for "new" jokes. They don't have to be new, just not likely something that they've not already heard. Got anything?

What would you do if you live in a culture which people tend to make sarcastic jokes and expect you to accept? it? I personally find these kind of jokes very rude and offensive but if you are the only person who thinks that way then you are the odd one out. I don't want to have no friends. I wonder if there's a way to deal with it.

Is it worth finishing to write a book of jokes? When I was young, I started writing a book of jokes as a hobby. I must say I hadn't started reading real books by then, and this sounded a good idea to me, as once in a while I used to feel inspired and make some good wisecracks. In the meantime, I gained other interests and stopped working on that book. Anyway, I have already more than 100 funny remarks. Do you think it's worth going on and finishing it?

Any good practical jokes to pull at a sleepover? Me and my friends are gonna have a sleepover soon. Any good jokes? Nothing that makes too much of a mess because her mom will be cleaning up later. Post a lot of them! We will use all of them if they are good! We might even record them if they are really good!

Why do offensive jokes become causes for crimes? I read some tabloids regarding crimes (particularly murder) resulting from really bad jokes, and it made me wonder why people should do that. Consequently, it is one of the questions I raised in my research, so I am going to need an answer quickly.

What are funny jokes that can make a girl like you? I want to make a girl I like laugh.I'm getting really close to her for being funny and I need some nice jokes that will make her be intersted in me and think I'm a sociable person.

Just curious. How and when did the jokes on Polish people start and why? Isn't it cruel on these people? I was wanting to know why the world, maybe just the USA has always told Polish jokes. I am curious as to where the jokes originated for how long and why? I feel it is kind of cruel to pick on a certain nationality of people. The Polish people I know are very intelligent and for this sort of thing to go on is very embarrassing, especially if it originated in the United States. Thank you very much.

I have some really good jokes for Demetri Martin? I've been vigorously writing funny jokes that could have the potential to be told to a live audience by Demetri Martin. I'm no comedian myself, but I'm a witty college student with the aspirations of becoming a comedy writer. Any suggestions?

Does anyone have any good jokes appropriate for 6th grade students? My daughter is having a slumber party and I want some good jokes to tell that are appropriate for her!

How do I delete all the trash that is on some of the jokes that I get in order to forward them on to others? Dome of the jokes I get has as many as five or six forwards on them. I would like to delete them before sending them on. Also how do I get rid of all the addresss' on some of them?

What's wrong with telling jokes if you're really laughing at people who actually think like that? I know there's a rule that you can't tell jokes about another person's race or orientation, etc., you can only tell jokes about your own race or religion, etc. But to me the assumption there is that these jokes actually are significant, so you don't want to point them at anyone else. If they're not significant, if I can instead laugh at other people who actually buy into racism as a way of governing how they treat people, why can't I get a laugh at their expense?

what are some great April fools jokes for school? I am in grade 8 and i want to pull some jokes on teachers and friends.Does anyone have any good ones that i could use on them? Thanks in advance!

I need you to copy and paste some computer jokes for me urgently? I can't go onto websites with the word joke in at school but I need some computer jokes for my computer teachers card. Thanks so much!

What kind of jokes would a small crowd of highschool students laugh at, but not immature/inappropriate? I'm looking for jokes for stand up for highschool. Lots of people said I should become a comedian, so Im trying, but I dont exactly know what jokes highschool students will laugh at or get because sometimes I tell things that they dont know about like about politics or something. I dont mean jokes i meant like comedy type stuff and what you would laugh at. i dont need you to tell me jokes, but stuff you think is funny.

What are some good, disrespectful and hateful jokes I can say to my ex-girlfriend in front of her friends? Venomous jokes only please. I intend to inflict maximum damage. Thanks. Help me crush her. Help her know that someone sees her for who she really is. Come on, where are the jokes? Should I resort to Google? I'm the one who got rid of her. She still disgusts me though and I'd like to continue crushing her and pounding her into the ground like a pancake. When you have someone do the same thing to you more than once, come talk to me about being vengeful.

JT was the main target of football jokes in 2008, who would take his place in 2009? JT jokes weren't funny at all since he's not criminal or something but in 2009? Kitty racist crime? Stop spreading lies around.

Why is it taboo to make handicapped jokes? Why is it considered in bad taste. There's jokes about everyone else?

What snacks sold in the US have jokes or interesting facts on the packet? On the back of the packet, which brand of snacks like crisps or popcorn have kids jokes or random facts about stuff like animals and countries etc. Did you know? - kind of facts.

What are the best websites to find good jokes? Extra points if you recommend websites with jokes in english, spanish and portuguese.

Is there a site where you can get sms jokes sent to your phone? I wanting sms jokes sent to my phone so i could send them to family and friends, but a site where i dont have to get online to do it. Like sign up one time to get them sent to my phone but get them all day everyday. Any one know of a site like that?

what do you think will the combo clinton obama addminstration provide decades of jokes? lets face it the Clinton's provided jokes for years after they were out of office now with them and the obamas teaming up i think they will provide material for jokes for decades to come.how do you feel about it?

What does it say about a man's personality when he feels an uncessary need to be crack jokes all the time? Especially jokes about his romantic life? SORRY GRAMMATICAL ERROR!!!!!!!!!!!! Cracking is what is was supposed to be! BTW he is a nerd.

My colleagues wife started sharing dirty jokes with me this time. Why does she behave like this? I always avoid having such jokes with her but every now and then when we met, she started breaking through this barrier with her jokes which I cannot avoid. We are both married. What are we up to?

where can i find those animated jokes people send to cell phones? I want the adult funny animated jokes people send out to each other. I looked but cant find anything. Does anyone know where i can find a website where i can text them from.

I am looking to gather good jokes about NASCAR racing for a party? I am co-sponsoring a party and a theme we want to use is NASCAR and I unfortunately do not know any good NASCAR jokes. There have to be some out there and I am looking for some good ones. If you know any and they are not downright derogatory...please share so that we can get this event on a good rolling start.

What are some good april fools jokes I can play on my parents over the phone? (Jokes that wont cause my dad to suffer a heart attack)

Why are some people good at pulling jokes out of thin air? They can find punchlines in the most sterile situations and conversations. I wish I can do that. I can find jokes only when there's "something" happening around, since there would then be something to which I can react.

How do I stop those jokes from being text to me? I just got a new phone, but some company has been sending me jokes through text, and I did not subscribe to them. I think it was from the previous person who had the phone. How do I stop them from texting me?

How old do you have to be to not see the humor in McCain old man jokes? I'm 42 and I don't think the diaper and dementia jokes are too funny?

What are some good jokes to tell a 7 year old? My grand daughter is on this kick of telling jokes to me that she hears from her friends at school. Then she asks me to tell one but I've grown too old to remember much of ANYthing, much less kids jokes! Can you lead me to a kids jokes website or tell me a few of your own? Remember, keep it clean & appropriate for a 7 year old!!!

I have to ask what is the reason for your interest in blond jokes? I recently used this as answer to a question on where to find blond jokes, and went on to inquire: are you aware that they are as exactly bigoted, prejudiced, and as inflammatory as any other racist joke? Can you begin to understand the reason society is so accepting of these type of jokes? It really serves to incite the continual demeaning of ALL women!!! What I have an intense difficulty understanding is that society will no longer accept Black, Polish, or Cripple jokes, but are quick to validate a Blond joke with a hearty laugh. In addition, a majority of the offenders who perpetuate the violation of women's rights for equality and humanity with shameful condemnation of intelligence based solely on the color of ones hair, are from the same gender association. When will women unite and become the sisterhood it was designed to be? Do any of you have anything to add? For those of you who are annoyed or bored with my zeal for equal rights for women... I apologize for the intrusion on your sense of humor. I do understand that you are unable to see the whole picture of the injury caused by these types of jokes when both genders are earning $5.25 an hour working at the local burger palace!!!

Does anyone know were i can get jokes about the colts? I am a bears fan and I work with a bunch of colts fans. We are going at it with the jokes, and i need some help here.

Do you share bedroom jokes with your fellow colleagues at work? My new colleagues loved to talk dirty and share bedroom jokes. I don't think this is appropriate behaviour especially in the office but I try to be a sport. I wonder if this happens in your place of work and how do you handle such a situation. Thanks to Tony for pointing that out, about being uptight. Perhaps I should try to be a little lenient with my colleagues now. Although in my line of work, saving lives is no laughing matter.

What are some good jokes that make fun of the Air Force and Navy? You just can't say "Air Force" and "Navy" either just because they are the biggest joke of the armed forces. I mean if your in the Air Force or Navy, your pretty much worthless. I'll give credit to the older vets and salute you, but the new people "serving" are worthless. If your a man, join a real service like the Army or Marines. It's war, time to fight, not time to hide. Now lets hear your jokes making fun of Air Force and Navy!

If i copied lots of Jokes from websites onto a document, can i still CopyRight it to myself? i have lots of jokes that i have made up from lots of joke websites, and copy and pasted them into Word. can i after having made a Adobe copy CopyRight the file and claim it as my own, so no one cn copy it. or is that illegal in some form? P.s i wanted to sell the joke document in my school to friends and stuff. will this effect the law?

Does anybody have any good jokes about turning 18? My older brother is turning 18. Does any body know any good jokes about that sort of stuff?

Is continual belittling jokes at someones expense a form of bullying? if someone undermines you with belittling jokes and won't stop when asked, is that a bully? (both adults in their 30's) -when you tell this person they can't be in your life until they quite making jokes at your expense because it embarrses you, especially in front of other people and he starts yelling and swearing that 'you have issues'. I know it is verbal abuse and emotional abuse because it edventually gave me axiety attacks over time and tore at my self confidence. What when is mistreatment called abuse? When is mistreatement called bullying? Where is that line drawn?

What kind of creep makes jokes about a missing child? There are some really evil people on Yahoo who cannot see anything wrong in making sick jokes about the disappearance of a small child.

What does everybody here think of the religion jokes that you see on South Park, Family Guy and The Simpsons ? And if you can think of other good religion jokes from TV and movies, mention them here.

How did Chuck Norris jokes get started and why are they funny? When swimming, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.. the water gets Chuck Norris... My friends have started on these Chuck Norris jokes. I'd like to know how/why they started and what makes them funny. I think it's kind of an underground thing right now.. please don't tell chuck I asked this question, he'll round-house kick me and take credit for this question.

What are these jokes meant to be saying about Soviet russia ? Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union. "In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!" "In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!" "In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!" "In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!" "In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"

When did you child first make up knock knock jokes? My son just turned three in August and loves to make up knock knock jokes. What are some I can tell him?

Out of all the jokes running in 2008, does Ron Paul make the most sense? Ron Paul holds ideas that would be create radical changes in Washington, but he is a very smart, honest, and patriotic guy. I think the loons running in 2008 are some of the biggest jokes that have run for President in the history of the United States. Hardly any of them have outstanding achievements besides being a lazy senator for several years. You have Hillary, who changes her mind every ten minutes, and Obama, who wants to pass unconstitutional gun control laws. I am afraid that many women will vote for Hillary just because she is a woman and that man African-Americans will vote for Obama just because he is black when they are probably the 2 worst candidates in the whole race. In the absence of a true, accomplished, and non-corporate candidate in 2008, I pick Ron Paul.

Anyone have any good Sherlock Holmes jokes or amusing anecdotes? I love Sherlock Holmes material and wondered if anyone knew of some funny jokes or stories I could use at our next murder week-end.

Do You Know Any Good Marching Band Jokes Preferably Flute Jokes? The flute section in my marching band (I play the flute) needs to find good joke(s) to put on our t-shirts. If you can't think of any good flute jokes any woodwind or marching band jokes will certainly do Thank-you. -Flutegirl

Can you tell me some funny teacher jokes or stories? I have a site which is linked to teaching and I would like to add a Teacher Humour page. I would like some good jokes or stories about teachers and teaching... Thank you so much.

Does anyone have a good comeback to to Englishman Scotsman Irishman jokes? I'm Scottish but live in Ireland. I have an English friend who lives here also, who keeps texting me jokes about an Englishman, a Scotsman and Irishman, the Irishman always being the butt who does something foolish. Does anyone have a real good comeback?

Where can I find a website with decent Project Management jokes? I'm a Project Manager and want some jokes about this modern profession...or else a site where I can go to and laugh at some jokes.

What are some good Cleveland Browns jokes? im from Pittsburgh..and a die-hard Steeler fan, and we hate the Browns with a passion as half the country probably knows..can anyone help me think of some good Browns jokes? I have a couple, but i need help thinking of some more. Thanx!

How did someone decide that Chuck Norris was a good person to tell jokes about? I don't really understand the reason behind Chuck Norris jokes, why Chuck Norris, and what's the thrill in making fun of him?

Why is it ok to insult and crack jokes about some minority groups, but not others? I noticed that when someone mentioned being annoyed by a dwarf in a prior post, that many answerers thought it would be funny to crack jokes about little people, but if the same question had been asked regarding a person of color or maybe even a person in a wheelchair, the answerers would gotten all over the asker for being a bigot. Why is it considered acceptable by some to make fun of a disability such as dwarfism, but skin color or other types of disabilities are sacred? All are circumstances of birth.

why is john mcshame keeping money that was raised by a man who made jokes about a woman being raped? first he leaves his sick wife for a young home wrecker, he voted against equal pay for women, and now THIS, accepting money from a man who jokes about rape? Does john mccain have any empathy for women?