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Blonde Jokes? Mercadies Blondes There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there Mercadies vehicle.They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger. The 1st blonde said," You need to try harder. It's starting to rain and the top is down!" The top 10 jokes Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, "Where did you get that?" The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle" A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet." Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?" if you like them star them please if you feel offended i'm sorry just here for the laughs more jokes http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071106155155AA9zUg8&r=w

blonde jokes? some blonde jokes. you may of heard but any way... what do you call a blonde skeleton in your closet? -last years hide and seek winner.. what do you call a blonde in the morning? -a cab why did the blonde get fired from the m&m company? -she was throwing away all the w's why did the blonde get fired from her office job? -she was using white out on the screen. why did the blonde fall off the roof? -she heard the drinks were on the house. finally. 2 brunettes and a blond walk in a bar. bartender asks can i help you. 1st brunette says ill take a b.l. bartender asks whats that. 1st brunette says a bud light. bartender says o.k. im catching on. 2nd brunette says ill have a m.l...bartender says ahhh thats a michelob light...the blonde asks for a 15.. bartender says what? blonde replys a 15.. bartender asks whats that. the blonde replys a 7 and 7 duh...

Blonde jokes!!!!!!!!? please post your best blonde jokes i really dont think less of blondes... these jokes are just funny Do you think blondes are stupid?

bLoNdE jOkEs? I don't find them offending because I know they aren't true. BLONDE JOKES: -Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!" -A blonde once got lost near a river. She traveled up and down it searching for a way to get to the other side. She tried walking in the shallow part of the river, and she even tried grabbing onto a branch that stretched half way across the river to try to swing to the other side. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get across. After many failed attempts, she finally felt like giving up. Yet, at the last moment, she saw a person walking by and decided to follow her--across the bridge. -Gloria the blonde once heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Alan to leave 15 gallons of milk. When Alan read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order. Gloria came to the door, and Alan said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1.5 gallons?" Gloria said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." Alan asked, "Oh, alright, would you like it pasteurized?" Gloria replied, "No, just up to my waist."

BLONDE JOkES? right here i go A blind man walks into a bar...ouch that was a diff joke soz i will start gain lol right ....A blind man walks into a bar, he sits down and started chattin to 3 random blokes.they were tellin each other jokes and the blind man goes "ay! who wants 2 hear a blonde joke??" and the bar man goes "thats a BAD idea!" and the blind man replys with "why??" "because im a blonde nd im a 6'2" 285 stone cold wrestler!" and the ova man adds "and IM a 15 stone blonde wieght lifter! and my ova mate is a 16.9 stone body builder , you still wanna tell that joke??" blind man says" no cuz else i would have to repeat it 3 times!" well he got beaten and thats the eend of my joke!.

BlONDE JOKES??? Whoever has the bes Blonde joke wins best answer!! Star this question if you think one of the answers was funny so i can pick them! pLEASE ONLY PUT IN FUNNY ONES! And, star me if this is funny( I heard it here and i thought it was so hilarios I wanted for u guys 2 see it): If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife Is yelling at hte front door, Wich one do you let in first? THe dog because he will shut up when you let him in.

How did all the jokes against blonde's start? Ok all I am wondering is how all those stupid blonde jokes got started? Does any one know? Any answer is appreciated. :D

Where did the dumb blonde jokes ariginate from? Is it really true that blonde's are inferior to brunettes, I didn't think so at first but the media always insists on it, and there are so many jokes about it. One of the girls in my class is a natural blonde and she is always getting dissed about being a dumb blonde. I'd like to know if their really is proof of it.

What are some funny red neck and blonde jokes? I really like blonde jokes (no offense to blondes) and redneck jokes. Can you please list some that you know and the link to the website (if available)

blonde Jokes? one blonde is out in the middle of field rowing a boat. the onther blone dives up to the road near the field and says "this is the type of this blondes do to make us have our bad name." the blonde rowing says im just trying to get home. then the blone from the car says, "If i could swim i would come out there and kick your a**"

BLONDE jokes >:} .? Alright so one day a blonde was driving her car and she noticed another blonde sitting out in a field in a boat. So she gets out of the car and starts yelling across the field, "You idiot! It's because of moron blondes like you that the rest of us blondes look bad! I would come and beat you up! But I can't swim." So three girls are stuck on a desert island and one of them finds a magic lamp, so she brings it back to the other two girls and they all rub it and the genie comes out and says, "You have three wishes that I will grant you." so the first girl, a brunette says, "I wish I was back home!" *POOF* she vanished. So the second girl, a red-head, says,"I wish I was back home!" *POOF* again she vanished. So the third girl, a blonde looks around and starts looking panicked and says, "I wish my friend were back!" One day a blonde is driving along and cuts-off another guy, well he isn't very happy about this, so he motions to her to pull over. She does, and he gets out of his car and stomps over to her window, so he is yelling and screaming at her and having a right fit, when he pulls out a piece of chalk and draws a circle on the road (It is a quiet road I guess.) and tells her to stay inside the circle. Now she has a great car, a red convertible sports car, and he take a slugger to her bumper and lights, when he turns around he expects the girl to be really upset, but instead she is giggling. Now hes really mad, so he keys the car and leather seats, when he turns back around she is laughing even harder! So in a blind rage he lights a match and sets her car on fire. She is doubled over laughing, so finally he gives and asks/yells, "WHAT IS SO DANG FUNNY??" she gasps out through her laughs, "Every time you turned around I stepped out of the circle!!" A blonde walks into a store and walks up to the clerk and says, "How much for that tv?" He looks at her kinda funny and says, "Sorry ma'am but that tv isn't for sale." So she leaves, the next day she comes back with a red wig on and asks the same man, "How much for that tv?" Again he tells her, "Sorry ma'am but that tv isn't for sale." So she leaves, the next day she comes back with a brunette wig on, and asks, "How much for that tv?" He sighs and says, "Ma'am that tv isn't for sale and no matter what color wig you wear I will not sell it to you!" She stomps her foot and says, "Why not?" So he sighs and says, "Because, it's a microwave!"

How did the "dumb blonde" jokes start? I just want to know who started the dumb blonde jokes and why. And also why they made brunettes smart?

How can I get some more Blonde Jokes from you kind and funny people? I don't care what Spell Checker says, Blond is masculine and Blonde is feminine. I will not bend. And I KNOW there are no Orange hair jokes. (My hair is not really orange but you guessed as much.) This category is so cool.

Funny blonde jokes that I can put in my speech? I am running for vice captain in my school and the big speech is coming up. Since I am blonde, I think I could make the audience laugh with a few blonde jokes. If you could give a few blonde jokes and ways I can weave it into my speech that would be great.

What are some funny blonde jokes that you know? I may be blonde but I like blonde jokes. I mean it's just a joke anyway no need to make a big deal out of it. :)

What are some really funny blonde jokes? Don't get me wrong, I love blondes (my girlfriend is blonde), I just find blonde jokes hilarious.

I'm changing my hair color to blonde? Will people make fun of me with the blonde jokes? I've always been brunette, Next year I'll start my final year of High school and I'll be like a bombshell kinda blonde. I've always had success in school and kind to everyone (you know the one that don't have a label) but I'm afraid that if I go blonde, I'll be teased. Are 17-18 people are mature enough not to tell those stupid blonde jokes. I know I'll be teased around my cousins cause they are alle brunettes but I dont care. I'll not stay brunette lol. We only have one fckn life to live and I just don't care if people don't like it. it's all about taking risks yes, i'll go to my haidresser

What are the dumb blonde jokes from twilight? Do you know all the dumb blonde jokes from twilight/eclipse or breaking dawn I think... I know the how do you kill a blonde ... put a mirror at the bottom of the pool one. Thanks

What is it With All of These Stupid Blonde Jokes? Seriously, why do people have to make fun of blondes all the time? Hair color seriously has nothing to do with how smart you are. It aggravates me. If you could tell me one good reason why blondes are always made fun of, you'll get the best answer. But I bet brunettes and red-heads aren't much smarter. And I'm blonde, and very smart. So, really, what's with all of these blonde jokes? They're really getting old.

I am asking for your views on dumb blonde jokes? I am a natural blonde and I just love dumb blonde jokes. I do not get upset by them as I am intelligent. But I just love being in the spotlight and I have a lot of laughs. What do you all think about dumb blonde jokes? Do any of you get offended and if you do then why? I would appreciate feedback on this.

What Are SOME REALLY funny blonde jokes? Im not trying to be mean or anything, but I think their funny. I have friends that are blondes and their in all pre-ap classes. Please oh please don't be mean and make sure their "CLEAN" blonde jokes...Im only 12!

Why do people tell dumb blonde jokes? Why not dumb brunette jokes? People always insult me and tell blonde jokes referring to me because my hair is a really light blonde. Why is that?

How did people come up with " Dumb Blonde" jokes? I am not blonde but I have heard over 20 Dumb blonde jokes! Who came up with that? And why do people think blonde's are dumb? Sorry if I spelled anything wrong! :-)

What are some really good blonde jokes? Im seriously bored and need a laugh tell me some good blonde jokes and try to win best answer!!!

How to stop dumb blonde jokes? Some of them are funny, but I find them a little offensive too. i got my friend to dye my hair reddish purple to stop people making dumb blonde jokes about me. it didnt work. what can i do to stop them making the jokes about me? btw, i do ignore them but they keep going on and on. my friends are the ones that tell them to shut up.

For blondes- How do you react to blonde jokes? I am a natural blonde and I LOVE blonde jokes! I share them and laugh at them and really enjoy them. In a way, that makes them even funnier. I've noticed that some people are insulted, while others will laugh really hard. For those of you that are blonde, where do you stand?

Does anybody know any good dumb blonde jokes? I am a blonde am I am not offended by them. I need a really good blonde joke. It has to be really good. I have heard many of them so don't say anything really common. I need one that will make everybody laugh.

what are some good comebacks for dumb blonde jokes? I'm blonde and people say I'm pretty but I also aced physics and chemistry, so I don't think I fit the stereotype. I have a sense of humor so I usually don't mind, depending on who's telling the joke. Still, have you heard any good blonde-specific comebacks? I mean I can take a dig at them, brag about physics, or say not all dumbs are blondes, but I'm just curious. Thanks.

Can someone give me some blonde jokes? I like to tell blonde jokes, sometimes long ones but lots of short ones. But, I am running out of them. I like perverted and non-perverted ones, it doesn't matter. So if possible short ones, like question answer thing, for example: Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Reference site, or straight jokes would be much appreciated.

My child's elementary school teacher is telling blonde jokes.What can I do? My child's teacher is telling blonde jokes in class. I have gone to her twice about this, asking her to stop. She refuses, but says she will explain to the children what blonde jokes are about, which doesn't solve anything. I have also gone to the principal, but nothing has changed. I have another meeting scheduled with the principal to discuss this further, but I'm not anticipating much coming from that meeting. What can I do?

where do blonde jokes come from? I am blonde, and i really get annoyed with the dumb blonde things. Where do those blonde jokes come from?

Does anyone have any blonde jokes that are actually funny? It seems like all of them suck... (lol I'm (naturally) blonde :) I like to read jokes that make me laugh at myself once in a while, but blonde jokes don't seem to really do it for me...)

Why do people make dumb blonde jokes? It seems that a lot of people tell dumb blonde jokes. Why perpetuate this false stereotype? It is obviously not only blondes that are dumb. I, myself am blonde and I recieved straight As in school as a child. My best friend, on the other hand, was brunette and she hardly ever passed her tests. If you ask me, this stereotype needs to stop and people need to come to their senses: blondes are NOT dumb.

Why do people act like blondes are so stupid with blonde jokes? Why not brunettes? the only difference is hair? Not all blondes are dumb, in fact, the only difference is hair color out of us all. People only do jokes about us blonde girls. Never do I hear any about boys (even with blonde hair) or about any other hair color. I mean, sometimes I act stupid without realizing it, haha and people say "you should dye your hair, then you would be smarter) i dont get it!! Please tell me why

Hey has anybody got any funny blonde jokes? I am going to a Christmas party and people find it really novel when a blonde tells a blonde joke. So Christmas ones would be cool too.

Does anyone know any good blonde jokes? I wanna tell my friends the funniest blonde jokes at a party were going to. If any one can give me a couple of REALLY good blonde jokes that would make us laugh a lot, then you're answer will definitely be chosen as Best Answer! Thanks!!! ;D

Do you think blonde jokes are rude,mean, and/or uncalled for? I'm a blonde and I have all A's and i'm in all advanced/honors classes. People tell blonde jokes around me because they know it bothers me. I have a giant target on my back. I'm a blonde girl who has glasses,braces,and my fave color is pink. What do you think I should do?

What are your best blonde jokes? Blonde jokes are my favorite, please give me some more! I'll pick for the best answer the one that made me laugh the hardest! Thanks!

When did those blonde stereotype jokes about women start? All my life I've always heard those joke stereotypes that blonde women aren't as smart as brunettes etc., so I always wondered how long ago was the origin of that?

Whats with all the nasty dumb blonde jokes? I'm blonde, and im really annoyed at all these blonde jokes that get put on these stupid websites, and half of them don't make sense, and just because someone is blonde doesn't mean there stupid, why do people post them? And its like not even true what they write

Does anyone have any dumb blonde jokes? I am a blonde, by the way. Loco Astrum if you love these jokes! Thanks!

With all the blonde jokes floating around doesn't someone have some good red head or brunette jokes to tell? I used to think most girls were blonde, then I bought some shoe mirrors and found out many are brunettes and in some rare cases Scottish men.

Blonde girls, do you get annoyed with blonde girl jokes? Us guys think theyre gentle humour with a little flat? a little flatery. So, well, like blonde girls are beautiful and if you started by telling me I'm adorable I think I'd go ok and smile sweetly. So? What's what with blonde jokes?

BLONDES: No offence but do you find blonde jokes offensive or funny? Like all those dumb blonde jokes ppl make fun of.

What are some good long blonde jokes? I need some real good blonde jokes!

Can someone tell me some good blonde jokes? I am not meaning to offend blondes one time i went on a question and it had a million of blode jokes and i laughed at most of them. sorry if you get offended!

Do you know an good Blonde Jokes? I am always trying to tell blonde jokes but never know any, can you help me out?

What are the best yo mama and blonde jokes? I need them on one page not where you click a link and it goes to one different joke, i need a whole page of them... ~Thanks

Why are blonde jokes most of the time about women.? I love blonde joes they r so funny, but y r blonde jokes mostly about women because yes they can b stupid some of the time but aren't men just as stupid at some times i meen it's been ages since iv'e heard a blonde joke about a man

What are the funniest blonde jokes you've ever heard? I'm not trying to be offensive or anything but I just wanna know what you've heard... yes, I've already heard the one about the doctor and the natural blonde and her broken finger and basic ones... I'm looking for really funny ones! Thanks!

How come in blonde jokes? It's always a blonde FEMALE that is made fun of? Never the blonde men? I'm not saying they should make fun of men, but doesn't it seem kind of weird that blonde jokes are ALWAYS about women instead of both? It's kind of like blonde women stereotypically take the heat for something that could be of both genders.

What are some good Blonde Jokes to perform? I have nothing against blondes, but my acting group is performing at the annual 'How Blondes are idiculed' Perade and we need ideas.

do you have any good dumb blonde jokes? my friends and i lately have been sharing our dumb blonde jokes. i've pretty much said all of mine, and i had(have) a lot, so do you have any dumb blonde jokes?

How did the blonde jokes start?

What's the one of the funniest blonde jokes you know? This is one I found on a FB page yesterday: A blonde was watching the news and heard that two Brazilian men died in a plane crash. She cried and asked "Oh my gosh, how much is a Brazilian?" XD

What are some good dumb blonde jokes? I know a bunch but I want some new ones... my friend randomly came up to me and said how do you kill a blonde? Then he said Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool. This made me want to learn some more... Please give me some good one.

Can a blonde ever ask a question without the answers resulting in blonde jokes? I'm pretty sure I've heard them all, but I'm open to more if you got em! Bunch of meanies! :)

Do you know any good blonde jokes? I have a few! What's the difference between and turtle and a blonde? -When it's on it's back it's screwed! Why did the blonde drown in her bathtub? -She farted and tried to smell it. Why did the blonde's bellybutton hurt? -Her boyfriend was a blonde too. Now how about you? Do you know any good blonde jokes?

Why are dumb blonde jokes only about dumb blondes? We're not all dum! Why can they make different jokes? its not all that insulting but still mean.

If you're blonde, do you laugh at blonde jokes, or do you get offended by them? And do you consider it "discrimination"? I'm not blonde that's why I can only wonder how blondes feel about it. Although, If there are jokes about brown-haired people I wouldn't feel offended.

What are some really funny blonde jokes ? All Blonde jokes are allowed i don't care what they are i just can use i real good laugh right now

How did dumb blonde jokes start? Im sick of it! Its not even true that blondes are dumb. So any one know how it all started?

How safe are these quick blonde jokes, (or is it blond)? Blond in the US Blonde in the UK. Both are correct. Q: What does a blond say after sex? A: Who are you guys? Q: How does a blond turn on the light after sex? A: She opens the car door.

does anyone know any funny blonde jokes? does anyone have any funny blonde jokes or any jokes at all?

Anyone have any good dumb blonde jokes? I'm not against blondes, I just think the dumb blonde jokes are really funny! Here are a couple of mine. What did the blonde do when the cops came to her house? She called the cops. What did the blonde name her zebra? Spot. Do you guys have any others?

why did people start telling blonde jokes?how did it come about?

what are some of the best blonde jokes you have heard? p.s. i am not trying to offend any blondes out there. some of my best friends are blonde and i actually get alot of blonde jokes from one of them. this is just for fun :)

What is it with the "dumb blonde" jokes? I'm blonde. I'm sick and tired of hearing the "dumb blonde" jokes. Like, if i trip and fall down (which everyone does sometimes), boys say, "Look at the little ditsy blonde!" Why do people say this mean stuff? And also, why are people so mean to redheads? My best friend is a redhead.

hi, do any of you know any good blonde jokes? I need either a website or a joke cause my friend is blonde and VERY dumb and everyone enjoys taking the piss out of her but we've ran out of jokes so help me plz!

Does anybody have any good blonde jokes? I know some and i think they are sooo funny, put down as many as you can and i will make the funniest one my choosen answer!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!! EXAMPLE Q-why was the blonde staring at the orange juice A-because it said consentrait I want stupid ones like thoughs, long ones short ones hillarious one DONT DISAPOINT ME

Do Blonde Jokes Bother you/ How often do You make blonde jokes? I'm not blonde (I might as well be), but I have a blonde friend who I find myself making fun of quite often. Ofcource i feel bad about it afterwards, but she says she doesnt mind. So It got me wondering... how many people are REALLY bothered by blonde jokes. And as an afterthought, how often do you not blondehaired people make blonde jokes?

Why do you think Blondes like Blonde jokes so much ? And , if blonde : do you forget them in the retelling of them ? Have Fun Tonight . Dizz { a blonde } lol :) :) :)

What do you think of these blonde jokes? Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? A: Because it said "Concentrate" Q: A one armed blonde is hanging from a tree. How can you make her fall? A: You wave at her! i give the first a 7 and the second about a 6 Star Plzzz

Why are there so many blonde jokes? Because brunettes have nothing better to do on Saturday night.

Really good story blonde jokes? Me and my friend are doing a short film where we act out a couple of funny blonde jokes, the only problem is that we're kinda out of blonde jokes. We're looking for the story kind (NOT one liners) that would be kinda easy to do with only two people who can't drive. They can't be dirty either. Does anybody know any good story blonde jokes?

How do you tell someone that you dont appreciate blonde jokes???? A lady at work keeps making cracks about blondes. for instance, she made a mistake, then she looked at me and said, tonight ill be the blonde. This kind of made it look like I was stupid because, I happen to be blonde. Two of the most airheaded people I know happen to be a brunett and a red head. so how do I tell her without sounding like a b--ch? I love jokes, I just dont think blonde jokes are funny. would it be acceptable for me to make a racial joke? or a religious joke? no it wouldnt so, therfore it would also be unexceptable to presume one is stupid because of their hair color.

How do those with blonde (fair) hair react, to those who say, or mention "blonde" jokes?

Does anyone know good blonde jokes? i want to laugh because im bored so does anyone have good blonde jokes?

why did people start blonde jokes? some say because people were jealous and some say because they are dumb. i think it was that blondes were bullies so people made up those jokes to get revenge

Blonde Jokes? A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." 3 construction guys were working on a skyscraper, up on the 40th floor. At lunch, the bald guy said "Every day my wife packs me a tuna sandwich. If there's tuna again today, I'm gonna jump off this building!". He checks it & sure enough it's tuna again so old baldy jumps. The redhead then says "Every day I get a cheese sandwich for lunch from my wife. If it's cheese again today then I'm jumping off here, too!". Sure enough, it's cheese so the redheaded guy jumps off. Then the blond guy says "I always get a jelly sandwich. If it's jelly again then I'm jumping, too!". He checks & it's jelly so he jumps. At the memorial service for the 3 guys, their wives are talking about this. Both the bald guy's wife & the redhead's wife said the same thing, "I don't understand why my husband jumped. If I had know he wanted something else to eat for lunch, I'd have gave it to him.". Then the blond man's wife says " I don't understand why my husband jumped. He always made his own lunch.". A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde drivers license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked The police woman replied "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finially found a square mirror in her purse , looked at it and handed it tothe policewoman. "Here it is " she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop." Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking....... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????" A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." A blonde went to electronics store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don't sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up. Three blondes walk into a bar and ask the bartender for three shots of tequila. He looks at them and says "OK" and pours their shots. They all clink glasses and yell "51 days!" Then they proceed to slam the shots, looking very self-satisfied. They look back to the bartender and decide to order another round. This time they pick up the glasses again and, more gleefully yell “Only 51 days!" The bartender finally can't stand wondering what they are talking about and asks them what they mean by Only 51 days. One of the blondes looks at him and says "Well," looking very smug. "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It took us Only 51 Days . . . . . and on the box it said 4-7 years" Julie the blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handywoman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure that sounds great!" said Julie. "Well, uh, how much do you want?" asked the man. "Is fifty bucks OK?" Julie asked. "Yeah that's great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage." The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied. About 15 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie. "Oh, by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." Two blonds are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hum, this person looks familiar." The second blond says, "Here let me see." So the first blond hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy it's me." A blonde, brunette and redhead stranded on a deserted island. They look for hours for a ship coming by, and finally one does. The brunette decides to swim out, gets tired a little bit out and drowns. The redhead swims out next, gets furthur, but then gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims halfway, gets tired, and swims back to the island A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her." A blonde goes to a library and walks up to the man at the front desk. "Hi," she says,"I'd like a burger fries and a coke." The man looks at her," Ma'am, this is a library." "Oh, sorry," she answers, *whispering* "I'd like a burger fries and a coke." A blonde walks angrily to the front desk in the library, and says “This book is boring, it has no plot, and too many characters.” The libraian said “Oh, so you‘re the one who took our phone book…..” One day a blonde and a brunette were watching the 6:00 evening news. On the news was a boy at the top of a building getting ready to jump. The blonde says out loud "I don't think he will jump." The brunette responds by saying "I'll bet you $5 he will jump." "Well I bet you $50 he won't jump," the blonde retorts. "You're on!!" says the brunette. After some time the boy finally jumps. The blonde pays up. As the brunette is walking out the door she turns around and says "I can't take this money from you. I saw the whole thing on the 5:00 evening news." The blonde says "So did I, but I didn't think he would do it again." The Great Blonde Kidnap A blonde was in urgent need of cash. In order to raise some money, she decided the only way was to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a note saying, “I have kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $100,000 in a paper bag and put it under the tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $100,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?” There were 11 blondes and one brunette on a rope climbing up a mountain. They had nothing to hold them to the rope. The rope began slipping and breaking. The brunette said, ''Girls, I'm going to let go of the rope, since it can't hold all of us. Your lives are more important to me. There are also many more of you..." and she made a big speech about how special they were. At the end, all of the blondes started clapping. Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning - though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.” A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!'' The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' Three women, a blond, brunette, and a redhead were robbing a 711 at night when the police arrived. They ran next door to a farm. The brunette hid under a wagon, the redhead hid in a cabinet, and the blond hid in a pile of hay. The policeman kicked the wagon, and the brunette said “Woof woof”. The policeman thought it was just a dog. When the policeman kicked the cabinet, the redhead said “Meow meow,” and the policeman thought it was just a cat. Then the policeman kicked the pile of hay. Not wanting to get caught, the blond said “Potato potato!”. There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch. "Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was trampled on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...." "Uh, madam," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth." This blonde, brunette and a redhead are escaping from jail. The redhead jumps over the wall and lands with a THUMP. The guard yells "Who's out there?" The redhead says "meow""Oh it's just a cat" The brunette jumps over the wall and lands with a THUMP. The guard yells "who's out there? The brunette says "meow." "Oh it's just that darn cat, get lost you stupid thing." Then the blonde jumps over and lands with a THUMP. "Who's out there?" "The blonde yells "It's just that darn cat". A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, the blonde came out again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail! There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman. "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" "Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you". "What is it?" queried the woman. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?" A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing. For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit. When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again. "There are no fish under the ice!!" Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?" The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!" The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, uttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers." Star if your laughed! Star if you laughed!

Why do people with blonde hair get upset at blonde jokes? Can they not laugh at themselves? Can't they just take a joke? I dont get offended by jokes made at a womans expense, I usually find them funny and spend the rest of the day telling other women.

Is it bad I'm blonde but love blonde jokes? All the blondes I know are mean and nasty. It's odd. The fake blondes are very nice and hella hot but idk the others are always rude. So I'm always participating in blonde jokes even though I'm a blonde, and natural at that. Is this bad/hypocritical?

How many blonde jokes out there? let's see how many blonde jokes we can raise people. To all blondes: I don't mean to be rude i just want to see how many there are out there.I'm planning to do this with all jokes, like yo mamma jokes. I'm sorry if i offend anyone. Here's a starter: a redhead, a brunnette and a blondeare intruding a farm. When the farmer comes they all rush to the barn and hide behind haystacks. The farmer walks into the barn and says, Who's there? The red head replies: Meow. The farmer says, Oh just a cat The brunnette replies: Woof Woof. Then farmer says, Just a dog The blonde pauses then says, "potatoes"

Anyone know good blonde jokes? I love a good blonde joke. Nothing inappropriate. Something not dirty in the least bit. I'm blonde, but I love those jokes.

How many blonde jokes are there in the world? None they're all true stories

How about some blonde Bimbo jokes? Instead of the usual cache of DUMB blonde jokes, how about some blonde slutty bimbo jokes? The blondes can be dumb, too, but let's have some jokes about how easy and bimboish blondes are! Well, okay then. Instead of saying "blonde," substitute the name "Tay Tay" and talk about how slutty, cheap, easy, and disease-ridden she is!

Anyone know any good jokes or blonde jokes? Please tell me, i am sooo bored! Tell me anything, i dont care if they are stupid, or everyone has already heard them. Also, u may put a riddle on there, but put the answer too! Funniest gets 10 points!

i need the greatest blonde jokes of all time!?!_10points? the blonde joke that makes me laugh the most gets 10 points(best answer in other words) thanks in advance and no offense to anyone! just a bit of fun!

Need blonde jokes to get back at my teacher? my teacher everyday tells us some blonde/burnette/red head jokes. he has put up the option that if we an tell jokes that are better than his he will give us extra credit. also if we can beat him with at least five absolutly AWESOME jokes he'll pass us with an A for the first half of the semester. i am not good with jokes so i could use some good ones. <3 >.<

Does anyone know any blonde jokes that have no rudeness? They need to NOT HAVE ANY RUDENESS IN!

Do blondes like "blonde jokes" and do women that dye their hair blonde like blonde jokes? People don't often like being made fun of. I suspect that blondes (natural or dyed) are no different.

Does anybody know where the blonde jokes came from? Because there are so offending because a lot of us are the smartest people u ever met! :(

Do you think these blonde jokes are funny? Civil Lesson In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old. A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?" _________________________________________________________ The Bet A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!" __________________________________________________________ To Be Fair, Blondes Are Not the Only Ones To Lock Their Keys In the Car Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The blond with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." Heres another one... Hilarious Blonde Joke A blonde was driving home after work and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said... "HEL-LOOOOOOOO ...You gotta roll up the windows!!!

Where can I download Blonde Jokes from? It's an adult movie. I can't seem to find it on any torrent website or even on Limewire. Any help?

Do you have any funny blonde jokes? Well they dont have to be blonde jokes they can be watever kind. :D (no offence to any blondes)

what are the funniest dumb blonde jokes you've heard? i have a bunch of friends and we all hang out together all the time. and like the whole school knows that us 12 are a group. were always having sleep over and shopping together. anways there are only 3 of us that are brunettes and a red head the other 8 are always making fun of us. so the 4 of us made a plan that tomorow at skool we would diss them with a bunch of blonde jokes. i need the best ones u can give me :) thanks

Any good comebacks for dumb blonde jokes? I need to say something to shut people up!?

I want to read some blonde jokes? do any of you have any good blonde jokes?

Do you know any blonde jokes? I am not a natural blonde, but blonde. I love blonde jokes! Please send me blonde jokes!!!

blonde jokes.why did the blonde keep failing her drivers test?because every time the door opened,she jumped on? 1.How do you keep a blonde busy all day long?put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. 2.why is a blonde like adoorknob?because everybody gets a turn.

Anyone have any really good blonde jokes? I need some blonde jokes to make fun of my sister!haha

Who is offended by dumb blonde jokes? I'm blonde and I think most dumb blonde jokes are very funny! I just don't take them personally.

Why are there a lot of jokes about blonde? and the jokes often have nothing to do with blonde

does anyone kno any good dumb blonde jokes? im blonde but i find these really funny. so if anyone knows some good ones please post them?

Do blonde jokes offend blonde people? do blonde jokes offend blonde people... or arn't you bothered? I was saying this to my friend and I said it shouldn't offend them because you could put anything in it's place and it would still be funny :) and she said ask people then so i have ... does it offend you? i think they are funny and so does she but we were just thinking about it

I see people say jokes about blonde women, but the thing is that all women are blonde minded? I think all men agree with it.

I need a laugh... does any one have any good jokes they know? Short jokes, blonde jokes, anything? ^_^? Just need a little laugh tonight, while I'm feeling down. I love all sorts of jokes! So give it your best. Let's hear the joke (and the answer too.) Thanks!

Should black people be allowed to tell blonde jokes? And vice versa?

Blondes- What do you think about dumb blonde jokes? Are you alright with them or do you hate them?

Why are there dumb blonde jokes and not dumb brunette jokes? People always make fun of blondes for being dumb and not any other hair colors. Why?

Where did blonde jokes come from? It doesn't make sense to me.

Do you think if there are brunette jokes it would out do the blonde jokes? just a Q, no wicked motive in it :|

Are there any other naturally blonde women out there who are SICK to death of dumb blonde jokes? I find them offensive. Some people actually do take them seriously and believe that blondes are stupid. To me, this is almost as bad as making jokes about a person's race because being blonde is genetic as well.

How did blonde jokes get started? What sparked this ever-popular brand of stereotypical joking?

Do people take blonde jokes seriously? I am blonde, and I love blonde jokes. I even joke about myself being stupid because I'm blonde. Do blonde jokes affend most blondes? wellz..it seems like everyone likes them so far... ••BLONDE JOKES•• • One day, a blonde bought a brand new convertable, as she was driving she accidentally managed to tailgate a guy in a monster truck. The figured out a way to get the blonde to pull over to the side of the road. He made her get out of her brand new convertable. He took a piece of chalk out of his pocket, and drew a circle on the ground. He told the blonde to stay inside this circle. He took his pocket knife out, and cut all four of her car's tires. He then looked at the blonde, she had a grin on her face. He then went to his car and got out a bat. He went to the convertable, and banged all of the window. He looked over at the blonde, she had a big smile on his face. He went back to his car and got some extra gas, and poured it all over her brand new car. He looked at the blonde, by now she wall laughing! He furiously went to his car, and got out his lighter, he set the car on fire, and turned to look at the ...... blonde's facial expression. She was laughing histarically. He yelled at her, I have ruined your car, why are you laughing. "Every time you turned around, I stepped out of the circle." said the blonde. • There was one blonde, one brunette, and one black haired girl, all were about to go into outer space. One of the astronauts asked the brunette which planet she wanted to go to first. The brunette replied, "I want to go to Saturn, because i heard it has lots of rings, and I would like to see them." He then turned to the black haired girl, "Which planet would you like to go to first?" he said. "I would like to go to Jupiter, because I heard there is aliens living there." He then turned to the blonde, "Where would you like to go to first?" he asked. "I would like to go to the sun." "Don't you know that if you get to close to the sun, you will die!" said the man. "I'd go at nighttime, DUH!" said the blonde. I'd write a whole bunch more blonde jokes but I am tired of writing X]

Do you have any blonde jokes that are hilarious? Me and my friends are looking to have a laugh. Does anybody know any good blonde jokes or any other kind of joke?

Why are blonde jokes so popular? Why are blonde jokes so popular? What is so funny about blondes? Some blondes are bright in my opinion. Why do people like these jokes so much? Why do blondes tell jokes about themselves sometimes?

What do you think of these Blonde Jokes? I dont mean to offend anyone you know there are brunette jokes.. A blonde thinks her boy friends cheating on her so she buys a gun. she goes home to her apartment and her boyfriends kissing a redhead she points the gun at him. But she becomes so overcome with grief she puts the gun to her head. " Honey dont!" yells her boyfriend "Shut up your next" said the blonde A blonde is in a car crash her car is completley ruined but shes fine. The police man walks up and says "are you okay your car looks like a squashed accordian that an elephant stood on" "Yeah I'm fine" "What happened" "Well I was driving and I saw a tree so I swurved to the left then I saw another tree so I swurved to the right. you probably get the picture..." "Mam there's no trees on this road that was your air freshener" Please tell me if you know any more!

why are some brunets offended by blonde jokes? I'm a blonde myselfand I use blonde jokes all the time! They are histarical!

What are the best blonde jokes ever? I am trying to beat my friend in the most blonde jokes learned over night will you help me! Give me your funniest to win the best and 10 points you have to make me ROTFLOL and that is not easy!

Do you know someone who is the reason they made blonde jokes? I do. My friend left for London and told us all that the sales tax there is 17.5% to which my blonde friend replied wow the tax is going to be more than the item itself costs.

Blonde jokes needed.? I'm planning on making a YouTube video of me acting out a buch of blonde jokes, but I don't know very many. Can you give me someideas for blonde jokes that would be fun to act out? Thanks!! Yes, Wesley, you can help.

Does any know any good blonde comeback jokes?? I am a natural blonde, and nothing like the blonde jokes portray, and I would like to have some good comeback jokes to say back to people when they tell me their blonde jokes. If you know some let me know what they are. Thanks :o) No crude/rude remarks please. If you feel like you need to post something mean, it will be ignored or reported.

Got any funny blonde jokes? I may be blonde but I luv to hear blonde jokes.

why is there alot of blonde jokes and did you try to make them affend blondes? the blode jokes are realy affencive to me b/c im a blonde. but they are funny.

How "old" are "Blonde Jokes" and who came ever up with them ?? They are very funny but I was just wondering ......???

a couple of blonde jokes xx funny or not xx? Why are blondes only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks? It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour. What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant. Is it mine? How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday? Tell her a joke on a Wednesday. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicapped spots. What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.

know good blonde jokes? mine suck... =(? my blonde jokes suck...every year for my birthday, me and my family tell blonde jokes (cuz i'm blonde), but mine are never any good and all i ever get are blank stares and muffled laughs cuz the jokes are stupid...help! =)

What is it with the blonde jokes? Why blondes? Why are all these jokes on all the Blondes? It is so offensive. I am a blonde myself, and I can be ditsy at times. I am usually really smart though. So, my question is why do the jokes have to be on the blondes?

Any good dumb blonde jokes? I'm in need for a good joke, and i think dumb blonde jokes are hysterical(even though i'm slightly blonde)

does anyone know any dumb blonde jokes in the army, im realy intrested? i am makeing a collection of jokes and i'd like to know if anyone in the military know of any jokes involveing dumb blondes, thanks in advance? if presidents and it followers can commit evil sins, why can't i? geez!! that lostoki sure has lost it, he don't make sense.

why does everyone feel bad for making blonde jokes in front of blondes? you tell a blonde joke and then realize theres a blonde in the room and start to apologize.

What are some good dumb blonde jokes? I've heard alot of dumb blonde jokes but i want some more that arent very popular

whats the deal with blonde jokes? blonde is just a hair color. i also know brunettes that are stupid. theres this one girl, rachel and she asked me if i was a car and shes a brunette. so why arent there brunette jokes?

Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes? A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Does anyone have any good blonde jokes? me and my friends were just talking and we are holding a competition on who can come up with the most and funniest Blonde jokes! No offense to blondes!

What are your best blonde jokes? No sites please...just a few of your fav blonde jokes. Looking for a laugh.

who knows blonde jokes? I need more blonde jokes here is the only good 1 i no! this blonde went to an store and tellls the salesman i would like to buy this t.v! salesman: sorry i do not sell t.v.s to blondes. so the blonde went to the salon and died her hair brown and went back to the store and again ask to buy the t.v but again the salesman said i do not sell t.vs to blondes. the blonde then said my hair is not blonde it is brown see! so she went back to the salon to die her hair red and she went back to the store again. and ask to buy the t.v. once more. thee salesman then said i do not sell t.v.s to blondes. the mad blonde then said my hair is red see. finally the salesman said i donot sell t.v.s to blondes because thats a toaster. what 1s do you know. thank dudes

Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes?Are blondes really that dumb? I just wanted to know.

Does anyone have any funny blonde jokes ? My friends are at my house and we are bored as heck !! If you have any good blonde jokes or any jokes please answer !!

Are blonde jokes a form of racism? If skin color can have anything to do with racism, then what about dumb blonde jokes? After all it is picking them out of the crowd and insulting them like they were crap. I am a natural blonde! Although I did have red hair when I was little then it turned to blonde. By the way keep this in mind I am offended by them because I've gotten straight A's all my LIFE!

does anyone know any dumb blonde jokes? I need some dumb blonde jokes for my uncle if anyone know some funny ones or just plain stupid ones please let me know

anybody have blonde jokes? i want to laugh? please i need some really good blonde jokes, try to make them the ones that are long. if you can't then just any! thanks 10 points for best one

Is anyone else sick of Blonde jokes? Okay, I have 96%+ in every single class i take (advanced classes), run the school newspaper, am in like a million extracurriculars, and last year won the award for top student on my team at school. but yet, i still get made fun of and considered stupid because of my hair color. Am i the only one Who's sick of all this BS?!? i mean, the color of your hair has nothing to do with how well your brain funtions. why is it so hard for some people to understand that? and why is it okay to single out blondes to make mean jokes about? i mean, if you made black jokes or asian jokes or any other group on the planet jokes, you wouldnt be able to get away with it widespread like blonde jokes. everyone would be like, "thats so mean, you shouldnt do that." so why does nobody listen when blondes say it?!? what will it take for people to stop?!?

Tell me some blonde jokes peoplz? I'm a blonde and find some of these insulting, but mostly i take them all in stride, tell me some jokes, i wanna laugh. they can be one liners or long jokes I don't care! just make me laugh.

Dumb Blonde Jokes? Blonde in Disguise A blonde wanted to buy a TV, so she went into the store. She found one she wanted, and asked the shop assistant what the price was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was. The blonde walked out, and got her hair colored into red. Next day, she walked in, and asked the shop assistant how much her chosen TV was. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes," his reply was again. She was confused. So, again, she walked out. She got her hair colored into black. Next day, she walked in, and asked how much was her chosen TV. "I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes!" his reply was again. Now the blonde was really confused. "How did you know I was a blonde?" asked the girl. "Well, because what you've got there is a microwave! The Blonde Painter One day a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the door bell and say, "Hi, is there anything I could do for your house or u???" The man thinks and says, "Sure, can paint my porch. You will find all the stuff in the garage." The girl says, "O.K., How much will you pay me?" The man says, "How much does fifty bucks sound?" She quickly agrees and gets straight to work. The wife who had heard the conversation inside says, "50 bucks, I hope she knows the porch goes all around the house!" 25 minutes later the girl knocks on the door and says, "O.K. I am done. Can I have my money now?" surprised the man replies, "O.K. Let me get the money" he comes back and the girl says as she is leaving, "By the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch!" Deer Tracks Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train. Locked Out Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde #1: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" Blonde #2: "Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!" Blonde One Liners and Riddles 1. How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it....with a thought! 2. How can you tell a smart blonde from a dumb blonde....the smart blondes have dark roots. 3. Why don't blondes eat pickles...because they get their heads stuck in the jar. 4. Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory...she threw out all of the W's. 5. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday...tell her a joke on Friday. 6. What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt...brain tumor. 7. Why don't blondes make kool-aid...can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packages. 8. What do you call a blonde with half a brain...gifted. 9. Why do blondes have T.G.I.F. printed on their shoes...stands for Toes G o In First. 10. How many blondes does it take to change a tire .... 5--2 to get sodas, 2 to cry and 1 to call daddy. 11. How do you give a blonde a brain transplant .... blow in her ear. 12. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common .... they're both empty from the neck up. 13. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear .... thanks for the refill. 14. What's the mating call of a brunette .... Is that darn blonde gone yet? 15. Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink .... that's where you wash vegetables. 16. How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle .... shine a light in her ear. 17. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in handicapped zones. 18. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you .... pull the pin and throw it back. 19. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall .... to see what was on the other side. 20. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb.... 6 - 2 to read the instructions, 1 to find the switch, 2 to stand on, and 1 to screw the bulb? 21. How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb.... two.... one to hold the diet Pepsi and one to call daaaady. 22. The blonde stayed up all night to see where the sun went.... it finally dawned on her. 23. Brunette to the blonde.... Awww, look at the dead birdie.... the blonde stopped, looks up and says, "where"? 24. How do you know a blonde has been working at your computer.... there is "white-out" all over the screen. 25. How can you tell if another blonde been using the computer .... there's writing on the "white-out". 26. Why do blondes wear ear muffs? .... to avoid the draft. 27. What did the blonde visiting O.J. think this was .... spilled finger nail polish. 28. What is the blonde doing when she hold her hands over her ears .... trying to hold on to a thought. 29. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? .... because it said "concentrate". 30. Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet .... she thought it was diet "coke". 31. Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering .... the noise gave her a headache. 32. Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips .... from trying to blow out lightbulbs. 33. Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar .... she heard that the drinks were on the house. 34. Why don't blondes have elevator jobs .... they don't know the route. 35. Why does blondes have elevator jobs .... they like going up and down. 36. Why do blondes work seven days a week .... so you don't have to retrain them on Monday. 37. How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work .... she opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it 38. How did the blonde die drinking milk.......the cow sat down 39. Why don't blondes make chocolate chip cookies .... it takes to long to get the shells off the M & M's 40. Why can't the blonde keep a job at the M & M factory .... she keeps throwing away the W's 41. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts .... change 42. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 10 .... one to mix the dough and nine to sort out the W's 43. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies .... 3 .... one to make batter and two to peel the M & Ms. 44. How can you tell if a blonde has baked chocolate cookies .... there are M & M hulls all over the floor 45. How can you tell if a blonde is going to back chocolate cookies .... she is throwing out all of the W's 46. What is written at the bottom of a blonde's fishing pond .... bring your own fish 47. Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool .... no smoking 48. what does a blond do when someone says its chili outside .... she grabs a bowl 49. what do you call a blonde with one brain cell .... gifted 50. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells .... pregnant 51. What is a blond with brunette died hair .... artificial intelligence 52. Why did the blond stare at the orange juice .... it said concentrate 53. Why Can't Blondes get "mad Cow Disease .... you can't get it twice 54. How do you sink a submarine full of blondes .... knock on the door 55. What stops then goes, stops then goes .... A blonde at a blinking red light 56. What do you call two blondes in the freezer .... frosted flakes 57. Pepsi came out with a new can just for blondes .... It has "open other end" printed on the bottom. 58. Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears .... they're refuelling 59. Why do blondes comb their bangs strait up .... They don't want anything going over their head 60. How did the blonds brain cell die .... alone 61. What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios .... Hey, Look!! A bunch of doughnut seeds 62. What do you call a smart blond .... Labrador 63. How many blonde jokes are there? .... none, they're all true 64. Why don't blonds ever become pharmacists .... It's too hard to fit the bottle in the typewriter 65. Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio .... she didn't want one for nights 66. Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet .... she was last years hide and seek winner 67. Why are there blonde jokes .... to make brunettes jealous 68. Why doesn't a blonde make Kool Aid .... couldn't get 8 glasses of water in the little packet 69. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde .... you can park in the handicapped zone 70. What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under water .... a blonde trying to put it out 71. What do you call a blonde with a brand new P.C .... a dumb terminal 72. How do you call a blond .... you don't .... you whistle 73. What does a blond say when she see's a banana skin on the side walk .... am going to fall again 74. I'm a blonde and still like blonde jokes .... must have been written by a true blonde 75. Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand .... so brunettes can understand them 76. How did the blond burn her ear .... the phone rang while she was ironing 77. What's a blond between 2 brunette .... a mental block 78. Why do blondes wear their hair up .... to catch anything that goes over their heads 79. Why does a blonde smile when there is lightening .... she thinks she is getting her picture taken 80. There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but they could not get in .... the sign said, "must be 18 to enter" 81. How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb .... only one .... she holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her 82. What do you call 3 blondes that walk into a building .... beats me .... you would think one of them would have seen it 83. How do you drown a blonde .... glue a penny to the bottom of a pool 84. Why are there no brunette jokes .... because blondes would have to think them up 85. How does a blonde make instant pudding .... places the box in the microwave, and looks for the "instant pudding setting 86. How do you confuse a blonde, put three shovels against the wall and tell her .... to take her "PICK" 87. How do you drive a blonde crazy .... put her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner 88. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead .... trying to make up her mind 89. What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes .... interpreter 90. What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box .... a case of empties 91. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink .... that is where you clean all vegetables 92. Why did it take the blonde 7 days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago .... she kept seeing signs that read .... stop clean bath room 93. A blonde went to the doctor's with burnt feet, "how did you do it" asked the doctor" .... "cooking soup .... the instructions said "open can .... stand in boiling water for 7 minutes 94. Why can't a blonde make ice cubes .... Don't know the recipe 95. How do you get rid of blondes .... form a circle, give each a gun and tell them they are a firing squad 96. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow .... to get chocolate milk